Most of us are familiar with the children's game Pass The Parcel. Suitable only for the parties of young children, it instills terminal boredom in adults and teenagers alike. However, Industrial Stength Pass The Parcel is a game suitable for all ages and can be adjusted to suit the age/sex/state of drunkenness of the players.

Note: This is not for the faint-hearted and has been described as 'A party in a packet.'

How to prepare the parcel

Seclude yourself. You will need to have something silly or of some meagre value as the prize at the end. Generally, the more stupid this is the better¹. To start, wrap the prize in proper wrapping paper. To avoid repetition of instructions later on, it's best to wrap each layer of paper with more than one pattern so that you can see when one layer has finished and the next begins in the fray.

Next, prepare a selection of forfeits ², either handwritten (if you have a clear script) or typed (which is easier to read). As you wrap the parcel, sticky-tape the forfeit onto the layer you have just wrapped so that it appears when the previous layer is removed. In practice, forfeits float away in the heat of the moment if they are not stuck down!

The Outside Layer

This is what everyone is going to see when they start the game. Make this as formidable as possible. With a computer and a half-decent printer you should be able to produce some warning signs such as 'bio-hazard', 'If this is ticking drop in a bucket of water', 'Do not cover airholes or contents may die' and so on.

Playing the game

Appoint someone to be in charge of the music - this is your chance to NOT be ritually humiliated. After all, it's your game! Reassure people that ritual humiliation will be evenly shared out and that the removal of undergarments is rarely called for.

As with 'cissy' pass the parcel, music is played and as the music plays the parcel passes from player to player. Of course, in this instance, people don't want to be caught with the parcel and will pass it on very quickly. It's also normal for the music to stop at random intervals with everyone having an equal chance of being 'lucky'. This is YOUR game; to make the game even more interesting, you could have an accomplice who tips you off when to stop the music so that selected people may be 'lucky'. This is a great game to play at community events when VIPs are willing to take part. Having the mayor kiss someone with a bald head can become the talking point of many a happy meeting for months afterwards.

Adaptations

If you have a mixed group, say people with special needs, don't exclude them. Write the forfeits with the word NOMINATE at the top. The 'lucky' person to get the forfeit then names the person who has to carry it out on their behalf. You can also insert the word ALL above some of them, so that everyone has to sing or make funny noises.

Example Forfeits

Here are some which work well. Despite their innocent content, these actually work better with adults:

• Make a noise like a chicken
• Kiss someone who is wearing glasses
• Shake everyone's hand
• Everyone sing 'Happy Birthday' to the tallest person playing without laughing
• Nominate someone to stand on one leg until the group has named the seven dwarfs³

Another example is a quiz round done by the whole group. For example, the group could be asked to name name all the members of a chosen pop group). This can be done by everyone together.

Ending The Game

This is done automatically when the last person opens the final layer to reveal the set of clacking false teeth, Toilet Duck, fake glass eye or whatever.