This is a primitive yet effective air purifying unit for small inner city apartments. The house plant's natural ability to ingest major toxins and excrete 'useful' air has made it an invaluable friend to the human, as well a providing an attractive snack source for most major house pets. The house plant, however, has a short life expectancy and cannot be expected to serve you for many years.

It is advisable to have more than one plant as they tend to thrive more in company. If it is impossible to squeeze more than one plant into your cramped living quarters, it is essential that you ascertain quickly what type of popular music your plant likes best and ensure that you play this at least once per day. A bored plant is an unhappy plant, and an unhappy plant dies. You have been warned.