• Right-handed - an individual's predominant use of the right hand with which to do things such as throw a ball, use chopsticks, or 'flip the bird'¹

• Shortstop - the defensive baseball player who stands between second base and third base on the infield of a baseball diamond. This position was not originally used in the first iterations of baseball, but was added later so that short people could be allowed to play too.

Confused? Baseball Basics is an easy introduction to the game.

The Facts

Parents of left-handed children often ask, Why isn't my child playing shortstop? Why does the coach not let my child play third base? Why are they looking at me as though I'm some kind of idiot? To explain simply, left-handed people don't play shortstop, third base, second base, or catcher. It just doesn't happen. This is not some sort of arbitrary rule, designed by Judge Kennesaw 'Mountain' Landis², and proliferated by Connie Mack³. You are invited to look at the statistics! There is not a single left-handed player at any of those positions in the major or minor leagues of baseball. 'Lefties' play first base, pitcher, or outfield.

'Lefties' are forbidden from playing shortstop for a very good reason other than a new and exciting form of discrimination that is sometimes called 'leftist' (or perhaps 'rightist', depending on how one looks at it). This very good reason is that when one of these players has fielded a ball, they have to then throw it to first base. Naturally, as anyone with at least half a brain can imagine, this is much easier to do with the right hand. It's just more natural, and takes fewer movements, to throw to the left with the right hand. This is particularly true when one has to throw the ball nearly 80mph from distances further than 120ft.

Catchers, and the Importance of Proper Headgear

The only exception to this rule is the catcher. A catcher will rarely have to field a ground ball. However, they do need to throw runners out - usually at second base (directly opposite home plate for those who are baseballically-challenged - and, of course, 'baseballically' is not actually a real word!), and again this is easier to do for a right-handed catcher. Why? Because most batters are also right-handed, and would therefore stand in front of the left arm of the catcher when batting. Surely the reader can imagine that it wouldn't be terribly pleasing to a batter, or terribly effective for a catcher, if the ball didn't reach second base, because it was lodged firmly in the batter's helmet.

More Facts

This could very easily be explained to these 'baseballically'-challenged people first, but it's so much more fun explaining that the statistics prove this assertion correct, and then explain why the statistics prove this to be so. Not terribly logical, but more fun than a good quick, stiff kick to the head.

An Exception?

This rule can only be bent when small children are involved. Anyone under 12 should be allowed to play in any position they want. In fact they should be actively encouraged to, whatever their skill level or ability to construct sentence. However, at 12 years of age, if a child hasn't figured out when they are good enough, or right for something, nor have the ability to construct complete sentences, then they have bigger problems to be concerned with, than the disappointment of not being able to play shortstop.

Baseball Wisdom

In the immortal words of Dennis Leary:

Life sucks, so get a helmet.

To which should be added - 'preferably a baseball helmet'...