h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just stumbled across a gem in today's writing job listings.

Wait for it...

Patriot IM Instructor/Writer

I couldn't quite believe it, so I had to read the ad. Yes, it's for somebody to write and deliver instructions on operating a Patriot missile. To foreign customers. You have to draw up the lesson plans and make up exams, too.

I'm imagining these exams. I'm trying hard not to, but I am. I have never had the good fortune to make up an exam that goes 'boom!' in my life. What an opportunity.

The company insists they are Equal Opportunity Employers. They will hire qualified people regardless of race, creed, national origin, or sexual preference. Apparently, there's no need to ask or tell when you're aiming that kind of hardware.

There's one snag, though. You have to have a Secret clearance.

Well, that lets me out. Once they find out about Nigel and the aliens, I'm off missile teaching duty for-evah.

Still, it was an entertaining five minutes.

I won't mention the company's name. They might know where I live.

When britain was at "war" with Argentina (thatcher's time) "they" blew up HMS Sheffield, with an exoset missile I wanted to buy one and post it back to France (the makers) by airmail

I might be able to translate into Danish, German and Arabic

Prof
There is one of them exocet things hanging up in the IWM London, maybe if you ask nice...

no explosives in it

What? Complain to the National Consumer Council!