THE COOLEST BOB IN THE WORLD

THE COOLEST BOB IN THE WORLD



I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

Quoted: Zaphod Beeblebrox – Ex-President of the Imperial Galactic Government.

BOB


Hello. I am Bob. I have taken a while to get around to updating this page and have a very good reason for this, and here it is: I couldn’t be bothered. I really wanted to get around to it, but knew it would take a while to do, and didn’t really want to spend that much time on it. Did that make any sense? No? Good. I hardly ever make any sense.

Let’s start again.

Hello. I am Bob. I live in the land down under, in the world’s most liveable city. In other words I live in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. The two comments I made about where I live are song related. The first one, ‘I live in the land down under’, is from a song made a while back, although I can’t altogether remember the name of it, the artist, or indeed anything except the chorus. The second comment, ‘In the world’s most liveable city’, Is used a lot, too much if I might say, on the BEST radio station in Melbourne, 104.3 GOLD FM. GOLD plays only great classic hits from the sixties, seventies, and eighties. I listen to it all the time. It plays great songs. I think I mentioned that already. Oh well.

Here. I put the information this way, so you can read it easier.

Name: BOB (Robert)

Age: 15. YAY! I had my birthday! (I actually am 15, I am not some 70 year old dude pretending)

Sex: Unknown – Possibly male, but not entirely sure.

Likes: Sleeping, eating, hanging out with friends, listening to old style music, h2g2 (of course), reading (I do this an awful lot), playing my alto saxophone, laughing, walking, talking, breathing, eating (I know I have already said this one, but I find I like it twice as much as everything else in this list), yelling out ‘CHICKEN’ in awkward silences, and I take great pleasure in liking all of my school subjects where I don’t do any work (That includes: Music Performance, English, Personal Development, Digital Imaging, L.O.T.E. – Indonesian, Christian Studies and Sport).

Dislikes: People who get quotes from The Simpson’s (or indeed any show) wrong, People who think reading is a waste of time, People who like that hip hop, pop, rap style of music (although, some rap songs do have a good tune, but most of them are just rubbish), People who think that Big Brother is a good and worthwhile show to watch that has an interesting storyline, People who don’t have a positive outlook on life, and just people in general.

Oh yeah, and if any of you want to contact me: [email protected]

MUSIC



Since I am so into music I suppose I better list the best songs in the world (according to me). Here they are (They are not in order of best to worst, just in the order of which I thought of them):
  • Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
  • Blister In The Sun – Violent Femmes
  • Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Jimmy Barnes
  • Dead Ringer For Love – Meatloaf
  • Higher and Higher – Jimmy Barnes
  • House Of The Rising Sun – The Animals
  • Mrs. Robinson – Simon and Garfunkel
  • Shaddap You Face – Joe Doice
  • Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
  • You Really Got Me – The Kinks
  • You Sexy Thing – Hot Chocolate
  • A Little Less Conversation – Elvis Presley
  • What I Like About You – The Romantics
  • Willie And The Hand Jive – Johnny Otis
  • I Can See Clearly Now – Jimmy Cliff
  • Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega
  • Mustang Sally – The Commitments
  • Paranoid – Black Sabbath
  • Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison
  • Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
  • By The Way – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
  • Smoke On The Water – Deep Purple
  • Sugar Sugar – The Archies
  • Tequila – The Champs
  • The Rock Show – Blink 182
  • Treat Her Right – The Commitments
  • Walk On The Wild Side – Lou Reed

And now for a description of how cool I am.

I am the coolest cat on the block. I am so cool that if I went swimming the water would freeze around me. I am cooler than Pluto’s far side on a rainy day. I am cooler than every other dude in this town. I am so cool that if I managed to get inside the sun, it would solidify and turn into a block of ice. I am hipper than next month’s rage. I am classier than Beethoven himself. I am so stylish that if I ever got caught in the rain, it would become in to have that ‘rained on’ look.

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Uncle_Bob - Back In Black

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