Grown from a cutting taken from his imagination

Develop the heart. Work for peace in your heart and in the world. Never give up, no matter what is going on around you.

- His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama of Tibet



This page was last updated on 7 May, 2006. 1

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om mani padme hum

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An older gentleman in school uniform.

I am a gardener,

a stick in the mud that took root and grew.

I was born in England. Now I live in Canada... in a house.

I am left handed.

I don't own a red satchel,

Or a cloth cap.

Now you know everything. 2



But if you want to read more, pick up The Post.


Bonus bio: John-the-gardener trims his mustache but not his beard - not very often, anyway. He wears shorts but he doesn't have sunburned knees. He has nice legs. He doesn't wear ties or fancy trainers (or 'sneakers', if you will). He wears glasses. He would like a pair of mole skin shorts, but doesn't know where to buy them, and probably couldn't afford them if he did.
Hey!
What is going on in Tibet is a fundamentally human crisis that transcends the usual political heartache, heartburn and haemorrhoids, and confronts us with what it actually means to be a human being3, wherever we happen to live.

Welcome to the Tibetan Greenhouse Dugout.

Admit it. You're curious.

And these are a few of my favourite things...4

  • Books Buddleia Butterflies Custard Ducks Eggs Freckles GreatBlueHerons Films Fish Mayonnaise Mice PeaceAndQuiet Portraiture Sausages Seaside Soil Sunrises Tea TeaBags Television TidePools Whelks... oh, and Marquees, of course
  • Fast cars, fast women and fast laxatives
  • And, of course, brown paper packages of kittens in mittens tied up with string.5
  • Favourite Rejection Comments
  • Favourite book: R A Lafferty's Fourth Mansions
  • Favourite Bach: PDQ
  • Favourite violinist: Hilary Hahn

And, for no particular reason, a poem about me...

John-the-gardener
Howdy, pardner,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells
And cockle shells
And pretty maids that I have a devil of a time trying to keep all in a row.

Did I mention that I was born without a sense of humour? Don't feel sorry for me though. I get by quite well with a prosthesis made of feathers. Patent pending.

Other Qualifications

  • Past life experience: Bear

  • Animal totem: Great blue heron

  • Religion: Born-again Buddhist with lapsed animist tendencies

1But that's just because I'm lazy.2Except that I have a middle Atlantic accent (no gurgling), but choose to speak, when I speak at all, like a cross between Captain Pugwash and Prince Feisal, as played by Sir Alec Guinness.3That does hold some special meaning, doesn't it?... beyond the usual heartache, heartburn, and haemorrhoids.4... with a nod of thanks to Julie Andrews.5Younger readers may need to consult older readers, who may be familiar with Julie Andrews and the musical film, 'The Sound of Music'.

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John the gardener says, "Free Tibet!"

Researcher U33262

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