Richenda

On May 21, 2008, I received my Associates Degree from Elgin Community College. Shawn and Angel attended the graduation ceremony. I have pictures of everything EXCEPT me accepting my diploma. Angel was so excited she knocked the camera out of Shawn's hand.

On June 7, I am throwing myself a graduation party. If any of you are in the neighborhood, stop on by!

BTW - are all brainiacs a bit crazy? In the height of it all, I booked a five day vacation for the three of us to Disneyworld for one of the StarWars weekends (Angel's favorite star just happens to be hosting)this June. (What an inopportune time for my tax refund to show up).

So what have I been doing for the past two years? Had you asked me that recently I would have replied drifting. But I would have been wrong. My job terminated in November, 2006 (but paid to Jan. 02, 2007). Unemployment benefits run out July, 2007. Finally found a temp job in July, 2007. Finished paying off bankruptcy. Managed to hang on to my house, dispite the economy and the record number of foreclosures. Lost 40 pounds. Received a 4.0 for everything attempted at ECC. Joined Phi Theta Kappa International Honors Society. With help of friends, painted the inside of the house, bailed out from last years flood, de-clutter the house, closets and garage ( I can finally get my van in the garage), put up new soffits and facia, alphabetized the books. Well, you get the idea.

Slowly, with the help of friends, I am pulling my life back together and starting over. I am beginning to socialize and join a number of meet-up groups. I think I am ready to join the world again.

Barton, dear, I still love you and miss you and always will. The fond memories will always be there. I know you are looking down and applauding all of my accomplishments. Thank you for the courage and strength to keep going.

16 years ago we pledged 'til death do us part'. Even death could not part us. Darling I miss you you.

Hi Darling,

It's been a year. When does the heart stop breaking? Mine knew even in my sleep when you had gone into distress last year. I went tachy at the same time this year. I had planned on coming to visit and bringing you one yellow rose. It didn't work out that way. My pressure bottomed out so low, the paramedics couldn't get a reading. By the time the ER got it high enough to register, the cemetary was closed. I'll try and make it by sometime soon for a visit. For awhile there, I thought I might be able to visit for good. Not soon enough.

{*}

You would have been 59 today.

Last year you weren't feeling well and you told me to go out during the day with Angel and Shawn. We brought home a pizza from Lou Malnati's. All I can remember is you saying, it's your birthday and you didn't even get to choose what you had for dinner. I told you you could choose next year. I was wrong.

Tonight we did Chinese. I hope that was ok.

I miss you so much.

{*}

Dear Barton,

March 21, 1987

Four months ago we met on line. Today we met face to face. I have the pictures to show it. If I had to list my one million expectations for this day, falling head over heels in love with you would never had made the list.

March 21, 2007

When we met, you told me you had lived alone for 20 years and that it would take time to open up. I gave you 20 years to break down those glass walls and let me in. Today would have been the day.

It has been 20 years and 2 hours since I found you and 11 months, 3 days and 20 hours since I lost you.

The only thing that is breaking is my heart.

I miss you so much.

Why did you have to leave me alone?