The Synthetic Drey. Rarely updated.

Warning: This page is often updated really badly, generally new bits are added, while the original text remains unchanged, this can lead to some confusion, but hey! What you gonna do?

Hello, welcome to my space, pull up a chair, spark up a ciggy and crack open a can from the fridge. Or don't, I mean, it's not compulsory or anything, I'm just trying to be polite here. Thought I'd better explain myself a little better. So here's a little information about me.

About the Plastic Squirrel.


Unlike a certain well-known literary character, I am not from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of betelgeuse, but am in fact, from Guildford, but I live in the sunny paradise of Bideford in North Devon, and have done for ages. I can still say I'm in my early twenties for at least another 5 months or so, but afterwards I will start to lie about my age. I've been a professional musician since I was just 15 years old, and so have spent a lot of time either unemployed or doing other jobs to make money between gigs. Currently I've been between gigs for about a year and a half, so it's a lot like calling yourself an artist, know what I mean?
Have recently taken up the sport of cross dressing here on h2g2, and now sport a floopy dress, a pair of Army boots, a fez, and Batty may yet succeed in the propellor bra, but I hope not. It's always fun, will keep you updated on the subject of the dresses and stuff, there was a good reason for it once, but I forget now. Oh yeah, and contrary to what some will say, I AM NOT A PERMED SQUIRREL!!
I've finally bowed down to peer pressure, you can now see what I look like, and read loads of dull info about me here.

Me on h2g2


Agh! A pigeon! Kill it! Kill it! KILL IT NOW! Anyhow, here on h2g2, I've only gone and become the official tormentor of pigeons, seagulls and other assorted birdlife of the Campaign to rename Thursday Thing, which on the whole seems to have been a good move. May join some other places, may not. Gave some serious thought to joining the procrastinators recently, but didn't get round to it. I've been putting off writing anything useful here for a while, but now I'm supposed to be recording this new CD that I've been writing, and working on for the past year, I thought it was time I did this (funny that). I've updated it again as well, supposed to be writing at the moment, so that explains it. Still haven't joined the procrastinators, plum forgot all about it. Have now. Just got round to putting it up here.
Okay, am now an official Procrastinator
Also the Keeper of Elvis Impersonations
And an h2g2 Freak (but only cos I had to press the button)
And a very, very proud member of the Anti-Abba Society
And the High Priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (which I started for Batty and must get around to building sometime)I've built it now!!
I have been known to do a little undercover work for the Anti-Squirrel League in my spare time.
I recently acquired a team of Jedi Badgers, and entered them in Oblivion's mutant games you could have a team of mutants too! Wahey!
I'm now part of the wonderful United Friends of h2g2 space as well. Are you?

Looky a Spork!!!!


Well it worked on Lifson's test page anyway!!!

Go see a Thingite, you might like them. (yes I know, I should have put this list up about 5 months ago but you know how it gets....)
The 120 -1 proud Members of Clan ThingiteClive the flying ostrich - Warlordacidbath - Grand VisierParrferris - Minister of Defence (& Occasional Offence)Amy - High Priestess of Thing &   General in Charge of External AffairsShea the Sarcastic - Captain of the Thingite Guard   & Honourary Spork Giver-Outer-erThe Gook - Sir Loin, Master at ArmsBob - (Temporary) Commander Thingite Suicide SquadLady Elly - Assistant GV/Commander Amazon DivisionHappyDude - Camp FollowerInkwash - Speaker of the UnderpassSt. Redfish - Director: Thingite Intelligence Agency (TIS)Average Joe - Thingite Tactical AdvisorÞing - Guardian of the Sacred ThornM'Alice - Keeper of the Sacred AleEkki Ekki Ekki - Chieftain of Clan McThingUncle Heavy - Sergeant MajorJon Quixote - Official Suggestor of Good IdeasAcolyte Hezher - High Chocolater PixieMinister of Occasional TablesHiram Abif - Imperial Architect of all Things ThingySir TJ - Royal Protector of the Thingite Wit   & Kight Errant of the Thingite CauseEris - Resident DeityKatie of the Redheads - Donna and MotherSt Trin - Official operator (Thingite Legionaire)Mr.Mike - Thingite Sandwich MakerSir EvilRoy - Maestro of the Thingite Orchestra   & Knight Errant of the Thingite CauseE G Mel - The Maker of Small Electric GadgetsQueen Alamsy - Thingite Guard of SmiliesIce - Thingite Neuro-SurgeonYeliab - Thingite EngineerABI (!!!) - Captain of ReconnaissanceFrankie Roberto - Thingite Propoganda ChiefJoe AKA Arnia - Head of R + D for the Thingite War MachineDastardly - Principle Dragoon of the Thingite LegionsBusterbone - Warden of the Pound; Lobber of dogs. Cheesestraws - Official Thingite Mascot (Artichoke)aka - Head Eater of Cheesecake and   D. Pres. for Flicking Rubber Bands.Dien - Lord-Seneschal (and-Master-of-Werewolves)   for the Court of ThingAnnette - Official Chinchilla TrainerPu Dendal-Shrubbery - Head Researcher on Thingite Calendar(A horse called) Bazooka Joe and His Amazing   Travelling Side Show aka Dave - Magnificent Steed,   Bearer of Thingites and Devourer of CarrotsCyberspook - Grand Inquisitor of Disgruntled Cat Toys   and Lover of Small, Vicious, Feline AcupuncturistsJoanna, Princess of Darkness - Thingite Star GazerPeregrin - Official Falconer of the Thingite LegionsTwinkle - Official Thingite TeleportationistAngelecon - Angelic Warrior Creator of Crystalic   Weaponry for the Thingite LegionsShorty - Tamer/Trainer of KremlinPhreako - Official Pigeon TrainerTuarinn Chaplin - Minister for General Sillynessw85 - Thingite Master of Ceremoniesfred_smith - Professor of Surreal WeaponryephirielX - Resident Thingite Psychologist   for all Things ThingyRootitoot - Thingite Trumpet HeraldOttox - Official Thingite NemesisDemon Drawer - Adjutant of the Genuine Irish Thingite CouncilGranny Weatherwax - Matriarch of the Thingites   and Mother in Law from HellEx-Rambling - Trainer of the Thingite Monster Moths   (Parrot trooper)Ford Focus - Thingite Wizard (& Diviner of Dark Magics!)Thing - Thingite GatEngländer - Thingite of No ThingsBluecat7 - Thingite Handler of Condimentsfords_prefect - Drinker of TeaJoe - Priest of Bovine-Related RitualsBina-baby - Wearer of All Things PurpleDr E Vibenstein - Doctor of ThingismMr Plato (and cat:Cyril) - First Lieutenant   of Un-Opened Cans of WhuppassSulk - Faithful Hound of Mr Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson,   Grand Visier of ThingDreamchild Warspasam - Minister for   Unnecessary Macho Posturinglemodog - Captain of Every Wibble of the YearI'm still thinking - Peerless Master of the GunbladeSam Wolf, and ob the smiley face - Thingite Alterer of CalendarsInfinity - Thingite Grand High WitchPablo ferral - Thingite Distributor of Bar-SnacksPlastic Squirrel - Worrier of PigeonsTabitca - Official Thingite CatFred the Badger - Official Thingite BartenderCroz T Scout - ThingNet System AdministratorThe Doctor - Head of ConfusionSt Niwt - Amphibious Warden for the Thingite Asylum (Karnt Spel.)kirikugi - Thingite Tea and Chocolate Digestive ServerMarch Hare Commander of the Thingite LemmingsVidmaster - Warrior Prime of the Thingite CauseCasey - Bomber Squadron LeaderLuvndaisies - Thingite Sergeant of Meaningless NumbersSnowGoddess169 - Thingite Philosopher and SorceressBubbles - Wandering Theoretical MindBatty - Thingite Adawehi of NuyagiEx Libris Draconium - Official Thingite Librarian and Scaled BeastieMaW - Thingite Dance Troupe ChoreographerIron Griffin - Soul Forger and Thingite Weapon Smithsome bloke who tried to think of a short, catchy, pithy name   and spent five sleepless nights trying but couldn't think of one   - Thingite Poet of Doom!!! and Fluffy BunniesFABT - Commander in Chief of Twiglets and Special OperationsMookie - Thingite Arbiter of Infinite Wisdom and JusticeIncrease Mathers - Cause of Awkward Silences in the Court of ThingCaptain Zog - Thingite Ambassador to the little peopleAvenging Washcloth - Thingite Athletics SupporterEngels42 - Thingite Minister of Leaky Ethics and SpiffynessJiffajoffa - Thingite Minister of Bizzare and Confusing ConversationsLifson - Thingite WebmasterCabman Green - Official Thingite Inhaler of Nasty Exhaust   Fumes and Other Noxious SubstancesStrider - High Chair of the Peoples Front of ThingiesRat - Official Thingite BlokeKnifee - Thingite in Charge of Stuff You Shouldn't Run WithDragonfly - Official Unofficial ThingiteErnie (formerly Brian) - The Happy Little Elf Who Was Born on a ThingEggy - The Thingite Purple Monkey Dishwasher FanaticMrs Slartibartfast - Lower-Upper-Middle Management   Manager of Stray Brain Cells and All Things Spazzydoreiwolf - Thingite Patron, Defender of Wibble, Pagan Younger   and Official Pooper ScooperSmilodon Prefect - Brillo Pad Superintendant of the Thingite ArmyIago - Thingite Odd Beast (Of Monty Python Fame)Michele - Purveyor of Oscillating GyroscopesRipper - Veteran Soditite Specialist and   Navigator of High-Speed Inanimate Objects   (Including But Not Limited to Walls and Bus Stops)Balsac - The Wrinkled RetainerCandi - Mistress of TittersClelba - Spigot NodulatorLady Scott - Thingite Metalurgist and Offical Spork EngraverSergeant Mushroom - Sergeant MushroomCybermuz - Thingite/L.A.H. Liason OfficerCarl - Official undead zombie chiken of Thing (ex partie)

Nice places to visit.


I'm often to be found at Planet-Tolkien Where I earnt the title Community fiend at one point. As a complete Tolkien nut, I can heartily recommend it as the best place on the net for other Tolkien nuts.
If you want to hear some really funny music (don't let your kids listen though, it's pretty sick stuff) then you can find my old band Lean Against The Washing Machine here. It's pretty funny, but about 6 years old now.
Or another old band, which is far more tasteful is The Dagobah System highly recommended.
Or for what I'm doing now, without all the tedious link following that you'd have to do from my main site, go to Plastic Squirrel's Tunes page and be unamazed, or amazed, you never know!

That's pretty much it for now!


Anyhow, that's all I can think of, except to say that I don't need to get any wolves off anybody as I already have one here (well, a German Shepard-Labrador cross, but it's close) The legendary nearlywolf, Rambo, who says hi. So there you go, see you around. Will put some more stuff here, like links etc when I get round to it. Oh, if you get the time, feel free to give me a welcome break in the Spam by e-mailing me at [email protected] If you need to know more then visit Squirrelworld Where you can listen to my music, read my rantings and ravings, and look at my stuff. No pics of me cos I refuse to put them anywhere (don't want to scare any kids out there).

Handy gadget, use it

You can click here to see your Conversations. Woo Hoo!!!

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Plastic Squirrel /Back, on the good foot, and doing the bad thing

Researcher U184898

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