A Conversation for Richard III Unearthed

Peer Review: A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 1

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

Entry: The King Beneath a Car Park - A87785310
Author: Galaxy Babe - U128652

A topical entry, for oncesmiley - jester

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - diva


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 2

Bluebottle

Excellent entry! I had wondered whether anyone would write about this topic which called out for an article.
I would perhaps make it clearer in your first footnote that Richard had been Duke of Gloucester, hence the connection with the current patron who has the same title.

I would possibly consider adding links to the articles on the Princes in the Tower, Elizabeth of York and Edward IV in reference tabs? Also a link to the Richard III museum in York: http://www.richardiiimuseum.co.uk on York's city walls. Every time I've been there it's been very quiet and I've almost had the place to myself, but I suspect it's had a fair few visitors in the last few days...

<BB<


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 3

Geggs

I'm conflicted about this, to be honest. On the one hand, it is a momentous event that we need to cover, but can also see that the entry might require a lot of changes over the coming months as the situation regarding the burial develops. For example, it seems that York Minister doesn't actually want Richard, e-petition notwithstanding - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-21373538

Also, could we have an explanatory footnote for Time Team? Just as a bit of future-proofing for when Time Team long forgotten.

It's a good entry, and well written. I'm just thinking of the long term, really.


Geggs


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 4

Recumbentman

The wording makes Philippa Langley appear, at first glance, a founding member of the R3 society. Her longevity then becomes a source of wonder, until readers realise that they have been misled.

But the major question is: who painted the R on the ground?


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 5

minorvogonpoet

This is a good article, and a very prompt response to events. smiley - smiley

Like Recumbentman, I wondered about Philippa Langley. Is she an archaeologist, or a mediaeval historian by profession, or just one of those keen amateurs England seems to produce?

I also wondered a bit about the obstacles she faced in getting the dig under way - but I recognise you don't want to make this article too long and detailed.


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 6

Dmitri Gheorgheni

smiley - biggrin Thanks for doing this! An important and timely topic.

We'll have a picture and poem by MVP in next week's issue of smiley - thepost.


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 7

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

I had no intention of misleading anybody, sorry. I have changed: "One of the members" to "One of the current members"smiley - biro

"I wondered about Philippa Langley. Is she an archaeologist, or a mediaeval historian by profession, or just one of those keen amateurs England seems to produce?" I confess I don't know what
Philippa Langley's day job is. She's all over the Riii website, and considering she had to employ archaeologists I doubt she's one herself. I'll have to research some more.smiley - ok

"but I recognise you don't want to make this article too long and detailed." thanks, I believe this is better off without itsmiley - ok

"I would perhaps make it clearer in your first footnote that Richard had been Duke of Gloucester, hence the connection with the current patron who has the same title." I do mention this in the text but I will make the footnote clearersmiley - biro

"I would possibly consider adding links to the articles on the Princes in the Tower, Elizabeth of York and Edward IV in reference tabs?" No, because this entry isn't about his life, as I said in the introduction smiley - smiley

"Also a link to the Richard III museum in York: http://www.richardiiimuseum.co.uk on York's city walls" smiley - biro

"could we have an explanatory footnote for Time Team?"smiley - biro

"I'm just thinking of the long term, really" = you can be sure I thought of that, being a Curator. However I believe the article is current now and I promise I will update it as and when, but there's no reason why it can't go on the Front Page within the next few weeks, is there? smiley - smiley

"But the major question is: who painted the R on the ground?" - you have no idea the direction I found myself going, pondering that one. I decided to stick to the facts rather than fancy smiley - tardis

Thanks for the reviews, everyonesmiley - ok

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - diva


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 8

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

smiley - simpostooh, thanks Dmitri! I'll look forward to thatsmiley - zen


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 9

Geggs

Okay, if updating plans are in place, then I see no problem. smiley - smiley

I just realised that the entry title looks like a Bones episode title. Was that intentional?


Geggs


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 10

Dmitri Gheorgheni

I think, for better SEO, we might add 'The King Beneath a Car Park: Richard III', or some such? smiley - bigeyes


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 11

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

Thanks Geggs. I update the Razzies each year after the awards, and keep the eclipse entries up-to-date, so you can trust me smiley - winkeye I'll just add Richard III to my listsmiley - biggrin

The title was The King Under a Car Park until I realised that was what most online articles were entitled, but I didn't succeed in finding one called "The King Beneath a Car Park". I confess I've never seen "Bones" so I didn't try to make the title look like that deliberately.

By the way, Philippa Langley is a screenwriter and researcher. And she's a 50 year old single parent, mother of 2 teenagers (I wonder she found the time to have a hobby, never mind turn amateur detective)


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park - how Richard III was Unearthed

Post 12

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

smiley - simpost

Title changed...


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park - how Richard III was Unearthed

Post 13

Geggs

Bones episode title are usually in the format "The thing in the thing", in the same kind of way that Friends episode title were always "The one where something happens", if you see what I mean.

Ancillary information I know, but I couldn't help but share.


Geggs


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park - how Richard III was Unearthed

Post 14

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

OK thanks Geggssmiley - ok


A87785310 - The King Beneath a Car Park

Post 15

Secretly Not Here Any More

"I think, for better SEO, we might add 'The King Beneath a Car Park: Richard III', or some such?"

Titles are weighted from the start - "Richard III - The King Beneath a Car Park" would be a better SEO title. But a worse article title.

My thoughts. As always, suggestions to be adopted or ignored as you see fit:

"England's last Plantagenet king" - what's a Plantagenet?

"There are h2g2 articles about the king's life and the Shakespeare play. This Entry will concentrate on what happened to the king's mortal remains." - seems clumsy and an instruction to direct readers elsewhere. Perhaps something like "But while Richard III's life, and the Shakespeare play are well recorded, the discovery of his remains under a car park is one of the most interesting archaeological stories of the 21st century" - only less crap.

It could be worth mentioning in the "scrapping" section that the permit allowing the team to dig specified that any human remains discovered should be re-buried in consecrated ground in Leicester. I don't have a source on me for that, but it was mentioned repeatedly in the documentary I saw last week.

"One hopes that Ms Langley is rewarded for her discovery when the next Honours are announced." - instantly dates the article without actually adding anything to the reader's knowledge of the subject.

Those nitpicks aside, it's a great addition to the guide on a very interesting topic!


A87785310 - Richard III Unearthed

Post 16

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

Thanks very much Mr603, I've changed the title again, hopefully more succinct.

"England's last Plantagenet king" - what's a Plantagenet?" I've added a footnote of explanationsmiley - biro

smiley - tea

"There are h2g2 articles about the king's life and the Shakespeare play. This Entry will concentrate on what happened to the king's mortal remains." - seems clumsy and an instruction to direct readers elsewhere. Perhaps something like "But while Richard III's life, and the Shakespeare play are well recorded, the discovery of his remains under a car park is one of the most interesting archaeological stories of the 21st century" - only less crap." Intro rewrittensmiley - biro

smiley - tea

"It could be worth mentioning in the "scrapping" section that the permit allowing the team to dig specified that any human remains discovered should be re-buried in consecrated ground in Leicester." That's already there: "The Justice Secretary Chris Grayling stated that according to the terms of the exhumation licence the king's remains would be re-interred at Leicester Cathedral."

smiley - tea

"One hopes that Ms Langley is rewarded for her discovery when the next Honours are announced." - instantly dates the article without actually adding anything to the reader's knowledge of the subject."
Agreed, that was personal opinion. I've rewritten the endingsmiley - biro


A87785310 - Richard III Unearthed

Post 17

Secretly Not Here Any More

smiley - ok


A87785310 - Richard III Unearthed

Post 18

Icy North

This is very well written, GB. Some would say it's a story which writes itself, but you've made it really accessible, and all your enthusiasm for the event comes through.

smiley - applause


A87785310 - Richard III Unearthed

Post 19

Galaxy Babe - spaghettified editor

Thanks smiley - chocolateteapotIcysmiley - cheers

smiley - biggrin


A87785310 - Richard III Unearthed

Post 20

Recumbentman

>Studying a 1741 map of Leicester located the area where the long-gone friary once stood; it was now a car park.

Slightly wrong-footing on a first read. Perhaps

Studying a 1741 map of Leicester, she located the area where the long-gone friary once stood;

And how about

it is now a car park.

>As an archaeologist people always ask what the best thing you have ever found is. I used to have to think about that, not any more.

If this is a transcription of spoken words, the punctuation may be improved without misquoting. A comma feels insufficient before 'not any more'; a semicolon or even a fullstop would work better in my opinion.

It's a great story. I couldn't get over the personal dismay Philippa Langley showed in the documentary, when she was assured that he really had scoliosis.


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