h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Ultimate DreamWorks Animated Film Guide: 1998-2004 - A87856861
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

A look at the early films from an American animation studio.

<BB<

Interesting entry, Bluebottle. I'm reading through it slowly and making notes.

Here are a few comments to start off:

You give Katzenberg and Spielberg a short paragraph each but Geffen only gets a few words in the sentence where you first mention him. Would you think about giving him a short paragraph as well instead of those few words?

The paragraph entitled "Creation" starts with them already having created their company. Perhaps retitle it as "Getting the Best People".

Antz was the world's second computer-animated film after Toy Story - I thought The Lawnmower Man and Tron were before either of those.

Moses is unaware of his true heritage until a chance encounter with two Hebrew woman, Tzipporah and his sister Miriam, results in a voyage of discovery - its a year or two since I saw this film, but that's not the way I remember it. Tzipporah and Miriam weren't together, were they? He met Miriam in the city and Tzipporah out in the desert while on his journey. Yet you say he met them together.

Aside: My daughters consider The Road to El Dorado the greatest animated film ever made, mainly due to the incredible rapport between Kevin Kline and Kenneth Brannagh.)

G

A few grammar, choice of words, spelling and punctuation points:

Grammar, Word Choice, Punctuation and Typos:

"In 1984 Jeffrey Katzenberg had been the Chairman of Film Production for Walt Disney and successfully revived their animation department

from making flops like The Black Cauldron (1985) into an unprecedented string of successes with Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988), The Little

Mermaid (1989), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992) and The Lion King (1994) and also promoted the partnership with Pixar."

This is very long, and also features the grammar fault of combining three separate sections using "and". You have: Jeffrey Katzenberg had been A and successfully revived B and also promoted C. Break it up into shorter sentences.

American Tail: Fieval Goes West -- that should be Fievel

DreamWorks' quickly -- remove that rogue comma

an experienced cel animation, also known as hand-drawn or traditional animation, department -- it's too far from cel animation to department.
Perhaps rephrase it as:
an experienced cel animation department, responsible for hand-drawn or traditional animation

which had a disappointing box office --> which had a disappointing performance at the box office

After DreamWorks' founding and the tremendous success of Pixar's Toy Story (1995), it was inevitable that DreamWorks would be interested in

this branch of animation also.
-- the phrase "After DreamWorks' founding" is completely extraneous in this sentence. Obviously DreamWorks would not have been interested

before their own found. It's quite OK as:

After the tremendous success of Pixar's Toy Story (1995), it was inevitable that DreamWorks would be interested in this branch of animation.

"DreamWorks looked for an established animation studio, in this case Pacific Data Images or PDI, an animation studio founded in 1980 which

had made adverts and contributed film effects, but had long held ambitions to make a feature-length film."
-- the repetition of "animation studio" in this is grating, and the whole thing is too long. Split it up:

DreamWorks looked for an established animation studio. They found Pacific Data Images or PDI, founded in 1980 and mainly involved in

adverts and film effects. PDI had long held ambitions to make a feature-length film.

had shown how successful animated films could be with films such as -->
had shown how successful animation could be with films such as

the successful Anastasia (1997) and flop Titan AE -->
the successful Anastasia (1997) and the flop Titan AE

In 1997 Fox had purchased computer animation company -->
In 1997 Fox purchased computer animation company

Can you please put some sort of header before 1. Ants. It looks a bit out of place.

Pixar were slowly but surely crafting this film -- this sounds odd. You seem to be saying that Pixar were crafting this film and that this was

unusual. I think what you mean is that they were taking their time over the detail of this film.

with two Hebrew woman --> with two Hebrew women

Potiphar's neice --> Potiphar's niece

written by Elton John' -- another rogue apostrophe

Katzenberg has claimed that because lip-synchronisation had already taken place, -- this makes it sound as though there is some doubt.

Phrase it as:

Katzenberg later revealed that because lip-synchronisation had already taken place,

I've made changes as per your first suggestions – most were straight-forward enough and don't need commenting on.


'Antz was the world's second computer-animated film after Toy Story - I thought The Lawnmower Man and Tron were before either of those.'

As with anything, it depends on how you define 'computer-animated film'. 'Antz' was the second feature-length film to be fully computer-animated, with nothing not created in a computer, but that does not mean that films had not used any form of computer-animation before. If you ignore basic wireframe, the first computer-generated sequence in a feature-length film was the Genesis effect for 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan' – which they liked so much they included it in the next two 'Star Trek' films too. Both 'Tron' and 'The Lawnmower Man' had a number of computer-animated sequences, but they weren't fully computer-animated films, predominantly featuring actors, props, sets etc.

I've tweaked the Moses supposes Miriam's toeses are s section slightly, but without getting too bogged down in the detail. Hopefully it makes more sense now?

I'm glad your daughters enjoy 'The Road to El Dorado' – as I said, it's not a bad film and it ticks all the boxes, its just that by 2000, the plot of men discovering America had really, really been done to death. But yes, there really is an incredible rapport between Kevin Kline and Kenneth Brannagh – I'm surprised that no-one has made an animated film featuring those two since, because the banter between them is flawless.

(Note to self:
1. Found animation studio.
2. Hire Kevin Kline and Kenneth Brannagh
3. Never, ever, ever make a film about ants, people discovering America, or space quests.)

<BB<

Apparently voice actors normally record their lines in isolation, but Brannagh and Kline insisted on doing them together so that it sounded right.

Here are the rest of my comments:

Thanks, BB.

Following this, DreamWorks SKG spun off the animation division into a separate company, DreamWorks Animation SKG.

I don't understand this. Since the only thing that Dreamworks does is animation, why do they have an "animation division"?

One apparent typo that really matters:

"The truth is perhaps the film owes less to the historic tales of Sinbad than the films of Ray Harryhausen,"

-- I think you've misworded this. What it is says is that Harryhausen's film owe more to the traditional tales than this film does. What I think you mean is that this film owes more to Harryhausen than to the traditional tales.

If this is the case, it just needs "to" inserted after "than". You should also insert "that" after "perhaps".

Other grammar, word choice, spelling and punctuation:

Stephen Spielberg --> Steven Spielberg

until two chance encounters with two Hebrew women -- it's a bit too repetitious now. Just say "until chance encounters"

a voyage of discovery in which he discovers his true family, faith and people -- reword to eliminate the repetition of "discover". ???

I might be worth mentioning that Shrek actually looks like Chris Farley.

and live happily ever after --> and they live happily ever after

Shrek revolutionarily included classic pop music -- I find this use of "revolutionarily" clumsy. You could say "In a revolutionary move, Shrek included..."

with either Gavin Greenaway, Eliot Kennedy R J Lange, Gretchen Peters, Steve Jablonsky and/or Hans Zimmer -- you should only use "either" when it is a choice of 2. Just leave out the word "either".

There's a missing comma after Eliot Kennedy.

anthropomorphisised --> anthropomorphised

for the crim of stealing -- crim-->crime

the historic tales of Sinbad -- Sinbad isn't actually a historic character so I'm uneasy with this. Perhaps "traditional" would be better.

aimed for a young, male audience -->
aimed at a young, male audience

and was, at time of release, the most successful animated film until Toy Story 3 was released six years later

-- the phrase "at time of release" ties this to a particular point in time, but then you talk about Toy Story 3 six years later, which is offputting. It should be enough just to leave out the phrase "at time of release".

father-sopn relationship --> father-son relationship

and then providing heart-felt --> and then provided heart-felt

what would Robert De Niro would look like -->
what would Robert De Niro look like

I was confused by your footnote on Sandra Bullock, which seems to say that she played Young Miriam. It would be better just to put "Sandra Bullock/Eden Riegel".

Good points well made there, I've updated the entry to reflect them.

<BB<

My sister gave me some DreamWorks DVDs the other week, so this is interesting reading

"Originating in 1995, as well as making live action films, the studio intended from the outset to challenge Disney's dominance of the animated film market."

I'm not clear about this sentence. The company was formed in 1995 and makes live action films, but was intended to make animated films only?

Ah, the next section says it was founded in 1994, so that's even more confusing...

"He successfully revived their animation department ... into an unprecedented string of successes."

I think this sentence needs breaking up, so he revived the department and it went on to produce successes.

"Return of Jaffar" - Jafar?

The Chicken Run table should be the same as the one in the Aardman Entry? (a few tweaks were made to it there, and they apply here too).

"Shrek agrees to rescue a princess from a tower guarded by a fearsome dragon for Lord Farquaad, who wishes to marry her in order to become a king"

Is the dragon guarding Fiona for Lord Farquaad, or is Shrek fetching Fiona for Lord Farquaad?

"a mix-and-match mythology approach"

" The Little Mermaid, which is perfectly encapsulated in 'The Fairy Godmother Song' which references Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast."

I think this sentence needs tweaking to indicate that it is the spoofing that is encapsulated in the song rather than The Little Mermaid...

" a trend Disney have followed" - perhaps "even Disney", as this isn't an Entry about Disney but it shows the influence of DreamWorks on Disney...

"if you had no long-term memory and then provided heart-felt answers"

Needs a comma before "or" and after "memory"?

Antz is a dark film indeed... I think the only thing separating it from a 12 certificate is that the ants are only semi anthropomorphic... The Rambo-style torture scene and bad language were a surprise, and the tragic scene of the loving wasps was another one that got to me Wow - not sure what I make of it overall...

Thanks for the read-through, I've made changes where suggested.

I've reworded the introduction to hopefully clarify things. DreamWorks Animation only makes animated films, but it began as the animation division of DreamWorks SKG. When 'Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas' flopped, DreamWorks SKG and DreamWorks Animation became two separate studios, one live action and one animation.

I'll have to try and finish off the last one in the DreamWorks series.

I don't think I've seen the words 'loving wasps' in a sentence before

<BB<

Yes, I think the wasps were supposed to be unlikeable, but strangely they were loving wasps after all so their scene had more power than expected... I managed to finish my Entry about Antz anyway, so it's in Peer Review now.

I watched The Road to El Dorado today - a completely different film from Antz and much more to my taste indeed. I do love a smouldering glance and the chief was surprisingly lovely with Miguel - reminded me of my partner and me I missed it in the cinema as I saw the Emperor's New Groove and Atlantis instead, but I appreciated it all the more for seeing it now as it wasn't just another film in a familiar genre, and I could read it more deeply too. Elements of The Lost World and Lawrence of Arabia with a dash of Aladdin

Elements of The Island of Doctor Moreau more than the Lost World, that the blood gives them away as not gods... Nice happy ending too, that it is sad for the chief to lose contact with his little blond companion but there's no time to dwell on that before the two main characters are partners again

That, and bits of 'The Man Who Would Be King' too.

I'll go read your 'Antz' entry now

<BB<

I missed this entry's first birthday - it's been in Peer Review over a year now.

<BB<

This is a good entry. Why has it not been picked?

Dunno.
Maybe everyone is suffering an 'Ultimate Film' and/or Bluebottle overdose?

But a 'this is a good entry' from you is high praise indeed

<BB<

I did say it was interesting a year ago.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congratulations! This will be an asset to the Guide

It was picked after all

Congratulations! indeed well done