h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahoy, men, women, 'n small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri o' h2g2: Greetin's on Shout Like a Scurvy Pirate Day!
We at h2g2 wish to announce to one 'n all in th' galaxy that we, h2g2, be th' true scourges 'o th' Seven Internets!
We rule cyberspace, 'n have since 1999!

Also, we always be knowin' whar our towels be!
Best wish fer Shout Like a Scurvy Pirate Day, Yo ho ho !

th' h2g2 Core Team

PS : Always be hoopy froods 'n never trust the gorram Vogons!

... An' a bottle o' rum !

Why are pirates always on the 'high seas'? I'm no physicist, but the sea's generally the same height everywhere. The phrase 'sea level' is a dead giveaway.

More truthfully, it's "Talk Like Robert Newton Day".

http://www.slate.com/blogs/lexicon_valley/2014/09/19/pirate_speech_origins_in_west_country_english_via_robert_newton_aka_long.html

'ere's more facts:

http://mentalfloss.com/article/52766/17-swashbuckling-facts-about-talk-pirate-day

Icy, as I understand it, 'high seas' = 'international waters'. (In Old England 'heah' could mean 'deep'.)

The definition of international waters, of course, is sometimes in dispute. (See 'Cod Wars'.)

Paul will now show up and make a bad musical pun (are there any other kind?) involving a soprano...

I won't do a pun. I'm going to let Florence Foster Jenkins do it for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtf2Q4yyuJ0

I'm reminded of Hyacinth Bucket.

The actress who plays Ms. Bucket played a pirate nurserymaid earlier in her career:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4r0N5UlXUI

She makes a splendid Ruth.

Michael Praed (Robin of Sherwood) did Frederic in the West End about the same time, I believe.

we be in grand company tis time to run out me long nines and fill 'em full of grape

I can still feel that dull Spanish steel, that gave me a stump....... So I took the leg of his Queen Ann chair as payment

Ahh Florence Foster Jenkins such a fine person, singer and did I say singer..........

In addition to finding the translation engine for piratespeak, I have also located a useful video course:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqMu6e5Dgtg

It must be the real thing: it's got the same boring background music as most language instructional videos.

Florence Foster Jenkins had some musical gifts. She began as a pianist, and graduated to teaching piano. It wasn't until she injured a hand that she thought about singing instead. As a singer, she knew her material cold. Her pronunciation was fine. I'd say that she was on pitch around two-thirds of the time, and her tempi were correct. Her worst fault was in thinking she could sing music that was out of her voice range. The Queen of the Night aria is one of the most difficult in all of opera, yet she thought she could do justice to it. She came nowhere close to hitting the very highest notes.

I dare say that there must have been some fine songs that were within her capabilities. She didn't try to sing them, though. This points to delusional thinking, sad to say. But as comic relief, she was priceless. Anna Russell and Beatrice Lily followed in her footsteps, making audiences laugh at their poor singing, but *knowing* it was poor. Florence does seem to have realized how awful she sounded, nor how hilarious a spectacle it was to hear her proceeding as if she were great. She was to grand opera as Margaret Dumont was to the Marx brothers' anarchy.

Sorry, Florence does *not* seem to have realized how awful she sounded.

"What's the pirate's favourite letter, then, me lads?"

"Arrrrr!"

"No, it's the sea I love..."

Does a pirate's alphabet contains seven C's then?

And plenty of I's, captain.

well its all to do with the I C's in it