h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's maybe one thing I should mention (1)
There was a distinct lack of tension (2)

There's maybe one thing I should mention (1)
There was a distinct lack of tension (2)
As the bags hit the ground (3)

There's maybe one thing I should mention (1)
There was a distinct lack of tension (2)
As the bags hit the ground (3)
There was an absence of sound (4)

There's maybe one thing I should mention (1)
There was a distinct lack of tension (2)
As the bags hit the ground (3)
There was an absence of sound (4)
P'raps my ears should start claiming their pension. (5)

I dislike the start of the week (1)

I dislike the start of the week (1)
And so I always shout a loud shriek (2)

<BB<

I dislike the start of the week (1)
And so I always shout a loud shriek (2)
Stepping under the shower (3)

I dislike the start of the week (1)
And so I always shout a loud shriek (2)
Stepping under the shower (3)
I wash in self-raising flour (4)

<BB<

I dislike the start of the week (1)
And so I always shout a loud shriek (2)
Stepping under the shower (3)
I wash in self-raising flour (4)
But not before donning my breeks. (5)

Some habits are hard to explain (1)

Some habits are hard to explain (1)
Such as hogging the middle lane (2)

Some habits are hard to explain (1)
Such as hogging the middle lane (2)
Leaving it is a bore (3)

Some habits are hard to explain (1)
Such as hogging the middle lane (2)
Leaving it is a bore (3)
Which some people abhor (4)

Some habits are hard to explain (1)
Such as hogging the middle lane (2)
Leaving it is a bore (3)
Which some people abhor (4)
I wish they'd just taken the train (5)

The weather's gone wrong, that's for sure (1)

The weather's gone wrong, that's for sure (1)
All the snow suddenly smells of manure. (2)

<BB<

The weather's gone wrong, that's for sure (1)
All the snow suddenly smells of manure. (2)
Even bits which are yellow (3)

The weather's gone wrong, that's for sure (1)
All the snow suddenly smells of manure. (2)
Even bits which are yellow (3)
Smell rather mellow (4)

<BB<

The weather's gone wrong, that's for sure (1)
All the snow suddenly smells of manure. (2)
Even bits which are yellow (3)
Smell rather mellow (4)
-ly of what once used to be "pure" (5)

I really should be elsewhere now, (1)

I really should be elsewhere now, (1)
But I'm trapped underneath a big cow (2)

<BB<

I really should be elsewhere now, (1)
But I'm trapped underneath a big cow (2)
One hoof's on my head (3)

One hoof's on my head
(the one that's named Ned)