A Conversation for Ask h2g2

What do you think of this?

Post 1

The Groob

http://www.lamebook.com/creepin-2/

Who do you think is out of order here? Neither of them? One of them? Or both?


What do you think of this?

Post 2

Pink Paisley

Christopher at fault. Kitty didn't seem to encourage continuing contact so far as I can see. Christopher sounds a bit on the lonely side. He misjudged the replies that he got from her.

Kitty a bit over the top though. I can see why she was a bit ticked off with Christopher pestering her.

If this had happened face to face, it would be very clear that Kitty didn't want to talk to the guy. He would also have had the benefit of tone and body language to go on.

But not being an FB user, I don't know if there is a different way of behaving there.

PP.


What do you think of this?

Post 3

quotes

We probably don't have enough context to properly judge this.
Why is it important?


What do you think of this?

Post 4

Pink Paisley

It has to be important?

PP.


What do you think of this?

Post 5

Superfrenchie

Ok, so there may be a context there that we don't know about.

That said, several things make me uneasy.

smiley - 2centssmiley - 2centssmiley - 2centssmiley - 2cents

So, one of Kitty's friends (acquaintances) gave a friend of theirs her name and details.
Call me old-fashioned, but how is that even considered normal?
One of my friends asks me for contact details for my friend Kitty (whom they obviously do not know, since they don't even know her last name), the first thing I do is ask Kitty if she's okay with that.
You know, human beings, private life, and all that.

Secondly, you walk up to someone you only ever met once at their workplace, and tell them you're nice and will worship them forever.
They don't answer.
Maybe they didn't hear you, so you can try repeating your offer on the off chance.
Once is enough. More than that and it gets creepy.
The other possibility is that they don't want to answer you, and are secretly hoping you'll just leave them alone.
So, yeah, by all means keep trying to hit on them.

Saying "you haven't blocked me so I think it's ok for me to go on" is not very far from "she didn't say no, so she agreed". Actually, she didn't say *yes*. If she didn't respond to your messages, quit it.

Also, as Kitty writes, the guy met her in professional circumstances, so of course she was all nice and friendly: it's part of the job. For all he knows, she might be a serial killer once she leaves work.
So I'd say he's being creepy, but also uncautious: it may very well backfire on him should she agree to meet up.


And yes, if you need to tell people that you're nice, either you think they're idiots and can't tell the difference, or you're just not.

smiley - 2centssmiley - 2centssmiley - 2centssmiley - 2cents


What do you think of this?

Post 6

Sho - employed again!

She is not interested right from the start. Not at all. But she's being polite (fatal mistake)

He's nagging on at her, being in her space, demanding her attention.

This is what women complain about, online or IRL. It's harassment. If people aren't answering you, or are being monosyllabic - leave them the heck alone.

For me this kind of thing is right up there with "smile, it might never happen!" or "get your smiley - titsmiley - tit out" in the street or the pub


What do you think of this?

Post 7

Sho - employed again!

I've read it through again. Seriously, it's harassment. Entitled harassment (he thinks he's entitled to a conversation with her, she's obviously not interested)

His evidence for her wanting to do this is *she hasn't cancelled her account*

Think about that. In order to stop him trying to engage her in conversation (demanding her time) she would have to leave a social media network?

And the question upthread is: "why is this serious?"


What do you think of this?

Post 8

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I like Superfrenchie's analysis in a lot of ways.

"So, one of Kitty's friends (acquaintances) gave a friend of theirs her name and details. Call me old-fashioned, but how is that even considered normal?"

To be normal, Kitty's friend should have told her about giving out the name and details. This would have allowed Kitty to ask the friend why she did it.

"Secondly, you walk up to someone you only ever met once at their workplace, and tell them you're nice and will worship them forever."

If you're fifteen or so, it's understandable. If you're over 25, you need to grow up. Being worshiped is often pretty tiring.

"If she didn't respond to your messages, quit it."

Or be very, very polite and accommodating ad tactful if you ask her why she didn't respond. But, yeah, quitting it is probably the best6 move.

" For all he knows, she might be a serial killer once she leaves work. So I'd say he's being creepy, but also uncautious."

Why do I think of the plot for "Fatal Attraction" here? smiley - whistle

" if you need to tell people that you're nice, either you think they're idiots and can't tell the difference, or you're just not."

I think it's just a mistake, made worse by nerves or shyness perhaps. At the end of the encounter, it's obviously a horrendously bad match any way you slice it. Best case scenario? He will have gotten a serious reality check and some pointers on what to not do if there's a next time with someone else. Worst case scenario? He doesn't take the hint and she takes out a restraining order, and the whole expensive justice system machinery grinds into action. smiley - yikes













What do you think of this?

Post 9

Sho - employed again!

unfortunately it's reality for a lot of women online. I really don't see why people don't get just how awful it is.


What do you think of this?

Post 10

Milla, h2g2 Operations

I can't add anything to the previous analyses, but the guy is acting like an entitled creep, and I can't blame the woman for snapping back and explaining things to him after she has been polite and also ignoring him.
smiley - towel


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Post 11

Superfrenchie

And I agree with Sho and Milla. smiley - ok


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Post 12

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

You're well worth agreeing with yourself, Superfrenchie. smiley - smiley


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