h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In 2001, according to official census figures in the UK, there were about 260,000 Jews. A tiny, tiny, vanishingly small minority in a country of almost sixty million people, and yet if the Tories had won the election in 2005 our Prime Minister and Chancellor of the Exchequer would both have been Jewish. It's amazing how prominent they and their concerns are, considering that there are so very, very few of them here, and that the very, very few there are are, in the main, concentrated into relatively small areas of large cities.

Indeed, according to the same census, Jews were outnumbered three to two in this country by Jedi. There were 390,000 of us, but did we get our own slot on Thought for the Day? Did we b&ggery. Ridiculed, we were, hmmm.

But now, the horrible truth is out. The silent holocaust nobody is talking about.

Because once again, in 2011, there was a census, and once again, there were about 260,000 Jews, give or take. Not that surprising.

But the Jedi population has been SLASHED!!! The number has plunged to a little over 176,000. Almost a quarter of a MILLION Jedi - equivalent to almost the entire Jewish population of the country - have simply VANISHED! It's as though the government have covertly enacted Order 66, and slowly, but surely, our numbers are being whittled away.

We are, it is true, still comfortably the seventh largest religious group in the country, after the Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jews and Buddhists (in that order) - but a mere ten years ago we were the FIFTH.

This isn't about percentages - a smaller proportion of people self-identifying as Christian may just mean there are more people of other faiths.

This is about raw numbers - there are over two hundred thousand fewer of my people in this country than there were ten years ago, and I want to know where they've gone and what is being done about it! >

Perhaps they've grown up?

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

"Perhaps they've grown up?"

I hardly think that's likely, now is it?

Yep, for the ones who aren't, still

Ah, sorry, I thought the title said "The Jedward Holocaust".

Carry on...

"Jedi knights, Jedi daze.."

~jwf~

I"m sure I saw the Jedi Holocaust at the cinema a few years ago.

It was that guy in the black helmet that did it - he killed all the children!

I think you'll find that he killed all the younglings, rather than the children. And he, and I can't believe I'm saying this, hadn't got his helmet yet.




Geggs

<"Perhaps they've grown up?">

Not grown up just tactical voting and going for 'no religion' because it sticks one up the godsquadders who keep saying how we are 'a Christian country just look at the census'.

4 million less people said they were Christian this census than last census that's a fall of 6%.


Ooo, am I being too serious?

It's possible that around 200,000 people were just kidding when they claimed to be Jedis in the earlier census. Perhaps over the course of ten years or so, they grew tired of the notion of Jediism and moved on to something else.

Actually the Jedi were the SITH biggest religion in 2001. And there's your explanation.

Although I imagine ... that's not the explanation you are looking for.

Mol

I think what actually happened is most of them found out that the whole 'official recognition' thing was a hoax and didn't bother again.

George Osbourne is the "love child" of Darth Vader and Maggie Thatcher,

The Shard is an Imperial Cruiser waiting to transport him to the Death Star along with his cityboy Clone Army, Sith Lord Cameron, Jabber Pickles and back bench Droids.

Seriously the whole Jedi thing in the 2001 was a response to a question about people's personal religious beliefs being put on the census for the first time - it was a humourous act of civil disobedience in response to what many saw as the state sticking it's nose into what is a matter of conscience.

One also has to wonder about the sincerity of those who describe themselves a Christian given that it is more than ten times higher than the number who regularly attend church and the current government knows it can gain support from the wider public by bashing the poor

I think there was a widely held (mistaken) belief (sounds familiar ) that if sufficient people claimed to be a Jedi in the census then it had to be counted as an official religion. The drop in numbers this time may also be down to the fact that that didn't happen.

They've been struck down, and are now more powerful than we can possibly imagine.

Better dead than Jed? No! I suspect that whenever the census officials knocked on the doors of a Jedi, they simply replied 'These aren't the inhabitants you're looking for'...

The 2001 census was also before 'Attack of the Clones' was released...

<BB<

My position was always that the word "Jedi" on a census form could reasonably be interpreted as meaning "atheist with a sense of humour".

Or "long-suffering partner of atheist with a sense of humour".

Or "child of long-sufferring... etc".

Anyone who was paying attention knew perfectly well the "official recognition" thing was never true. It did surprise me, though, just how many Jedi there turned out to be, and just how few Jews, given how very very much we keep on and on hearing about them in all media (not one but two contributors to Thought for the Day on Radio 4, just to pick an example, for a minority so small they're outnumbered by the population of Blackpool.)

The real news this time, I think, is the precipitous drop in the number of self-identifying Christians. I wonder how far that number will need to drop before the position of bishops in the House of Lords is addressed seriously...

Hoo, you are now the only person I know of who put 'Jedi' without falling for the "official recognition" thing. Or at least claiming they didn't fall for it.

Pretty much everyone I knew at the time who was intending to do it was doing it because they wanted Jedi to be officially recognised.