A Conversation for Miscellaneous Chat

Tell Us A Joke

Post 16621

Is mise Duncan

The transporter room in the starship Enterprise is acting up.
Apparently Scottie is beside himself with worry


Tell Us A Joke

Post 16622

myk

The past, present and future all walked into a bar.

It was tense.


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Post 16623

Is mise Duncan

One day there will be no such thing as advent calendars.
I tell you - their days are numbered!


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Post 16624

atinythorn

Two insurgents walked into a bar.......Boom Boom smiley - smiley


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Post 16625

Call me Harry

After extensive instruction I was surprised to learn my niece failed her driving test.

She tweeted three times that it seemed to be going well ....


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Post 16626

clare

smiley - space
smiley - smiley
smiley - spacesmiley - tea


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Post 16627

swl

I play triangle in a reggae band - I just stand at the back and ting.


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Post 16628

Reality Manipulator

Q. How did the Vikings communicate with one another?

A. By Norse code.


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Post 16629

myk

How do you kill a circus?


Go for the juggler!


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Post 16630

swl

I went into a cake shop earlier. Racks and racks of cakes, all the same, all priced at £1. Every single cake that is except one. That was priced at £3.
I said: 'Why are all your cakes £1 but this one is £3'

Baker: 'Well that's Madeira cake'.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 16631

atinythorn

I was talking to a friend today and he commented that his grandfather was called Dean, and his grandmother was called Pearl.
Obviously he never referred to them by their first names, and to him they were just Grandma and Grand pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa. paaaaaaaa pa.


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Post 16632

swl

I held the door open for a clown today.......I thought it was a nice jester.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 16633

atinythorn

I saw an old friend in town today who has been unemployed for years. He was really excited to tell me he's got a job in the new bowling complex outside town.
Ten Pin? I asked.
No, he replied, It's full time.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 16634

Reality Manipulator

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!

Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!

How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !

What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !


Tell Us A Joke

Post 16635

Is mise Duncan

David Cameron's government internet filtering plan is a huge success:- If you type "wet and wild" in a web browser now you get a weather report. smiley - run


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Post 16636

Pink Paisley

What is the difference between a Buzzard and a Kite.

A string.

PP.


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Post 16637

Reality Manipulator

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Normal chickens don't cross roads. This is a Mutant Chicken! We need a Mutant Chicken Registration Act to keep our side of the road safe!


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Post 16638

swl

Just finished reading a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first couple of chapters were a bit hard going but I ended up loving it.


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Post 16639

Recumbentman

smiley - rofl


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Post 16640

myk

Just finished googling about it. I thought it was a cruel joke, but now i see where you are coming from.smiley - smiley


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