h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My trusted steed is a stallion, of course. Goes by the name of Leonardo. Got him cheaply from an Italian. All I had to do was clean my sword afterwards



>RDO<

I gave my steed a day off and tried jousting on a DROmedary pre-installed padded shields front and back

>ARY<

I suspect that wouldn't be much protection from ARtillerY - new fangled firework devices...

-ERY-

<BB<

No problem. Dromedaries are quite slow in the uptake and since they REallY don't know what hit them they tend to ignore it and soldier on



>LLY<

but they don't stand up to our northern weather and go jelLYLike at the first sign of winter - hence the Shire-horse for the top Knights

Yeah, but even shire-horses have their shortcomings. When fighting in the highlands you might prefer mountain goats. Unless you're suffering from vertigo of course



>KES<

argh! I forgot the >IKE<


Ah! but we have Scottish houSEKeeper's who train haggis for that role.


>ERS<

The >IKE< is in the - as is the >KES<

Speaking of haggis is it okay if I RESolve my appetite challenge with instead?



>LVE<

I have deVELoped a cold, back soon. Duvets not invented, so diving under a load of hay(clean of course)

>PED<

*Decides to sing a lullaby for the ailing knight, hoping he's not starting an EPiDemic, so grabs his lute and starts to play*

"Hay you, down there with a cold
Getting lonely, getting old..."



>MIC<

a damsel on her way to see the Prof with a flagon of hot mead and CInnaMon to drink and a bucket of goose grease to massage his poor old bones to make him fit for battle

MON

Reminds me of the old saying: Using a feather is erotic. But using the whole goose is perverted

It is true however that goose fat is an OMNipotent cure-all - and probably the best you can fry potatoes in



>ENT<

I am sure the poorly Prof would be ENTranced to be tickled by a damsel with a goose feather, that would soon put him back on his feet

I am sure the most venerable Sir Prof will exhibit remarkable decorum during his convalescence

Or not



>RUM<

the only visitor I've had is Squire jack daniels, between us we have MURderously attacked the cold virus and looks like its back has been broken the onslaught (sweat it out) will continue "hic" until fully vanquished


>SLY<

damsel he doth wish

It seems to me a knight YieLdS far to easily to a bug or a virus if there is a chance that a damsel will happen along with a goose feather and a bottle of J.D.


LDS

damsel ha!I've more chance of seeing Moses plait chaff
nah! watching the muDSLingers fight it out at the village dump and the side betting takes the mind off a cold

>ERS<

The foe became the laughing stock as a RESult of his threat to hang Eric The Bald by his hair



>ULT<

I guess losing his hair was the result of dissoLUTe living by Eric the bald

UTE