This is the Message Centre for paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3981

Reality Manipulator

It has got to be perfect
if it is going to be worth it.
Make sure it's been checked
by using the right tool kit.

You say you want a rendezvous
with me at the local flicks
to see a film about the Edinburgh Tattoo
with a display of magical tricks.

You tell me that I am your diva
and that you love to rap with your pap.
But I am going to study the Talmud
and I'll be putting on my thinking cap.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3982

Reality Manipulator

I dropped my lace hanker chief
to see if you will pick it up.
It is the one with a motif
of a silver goblet cup.

You turned towards me
and asked me what do I do?
Would you like to have tea
or a chocolate fountain fondue?

I like both of your date ideas
and I love to be wooed.
So why don't we have tortillas
and hors-d'oeuvres finger food.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3983

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Hoarse doves are great finger food,
Especially when I'm in the mood
For dancing in jelly
While rubbing my belly,
For all other dances seem crude.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3984

Reality Manipulator

I love to sing a boring love song
because they it is so sentimental.
I sing when I am wearing my sarong
when walking to my pet dog Jock's kennel.

My pet dog Jock finds my singing to be funny
as he rolls over on the ground looking for a bone.
Jock can only find a bunny covered in honey
and a tea scone placed on a garden stone throne.

Love songs contents rarely ever varies
on their subject and their content.
Some are about finding love when gathering berries
or when they are travelling to the London borough of Brent.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3985

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Jock is the name of my pet.
I like it. It's hard to forget.
He gets really jolly
When sniffing a collie,
And stops at the hydrant to wet.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3986

Reality Manipulator

At first I was afraid that Wade will the miss the parade
as he is busy shopping for British footwear made of suede.
Then I became petrified that I will end up at a Intu* Lakeside
and that my dyed hair will make me look pied eyed.

Keep thinking that I could find my purpose and direction
through meditation and introspection on my path to perfection.
I think I would never cope if I ever lived without Wade by my side
when I am travelling to the Aberdeenshire Cairngorms mountainside.

But then I spent many nights playing with my set of box kites
and other times I am sitting on my bed darning my designer tights.
Thinking how you did me wrong by tearing my best silk sarong
which I wear when singing in the village band singing a love song.

Wade you came back from your travels in Outer Space
to see Garak who has made you a purple robe embroidered with lace.
Now you tell me me that you are going to leave me for good
and live at Deep Space Nine where you can eat gourmet alien food

I just walked in to find you here drinking the strongest Andorian beer
which you tell me will banish all your fears and fill you with much cheer.
Wade you got drunk with Rocket Raccoon who was selling you space junk
from the Star Trek Universe sold by a Ferengi who bought it from a Vulcan monk.

You see I should have been more alert and changed the front door lock
and then make you walk around the neighbourhood block carrying a rock.
I should have made you leave your key and a box of premier loose tea
and a train ticket to take you all the way to Newbiggin by the Sea.

If I had known for one second that you were Quark the Ferengi
who had surgery to make you look like a human with a goatee.
So go on and go out of the door and stop being such a Ferengi bore
with the Ferengi rules of acquisitions on how to make a profit running a store.






Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3987

Reality Manipulator

Wade go now and walk through the door with your pet boar
and go now to Sandy Bay sea shore where you will meet a centaur.
Just turn around now and make a bow to the ornamental cow and sow
on the mantelpiece as you make your Jedi vows holding a lightsaber and a plough.

Your tried to make me laugh with the way you made your goodbye
and your muggle attempts at quidditch and the way you tried to fly.smiley - zoomsmiley - zoom
Did you think I would reward your magical attempts with a large fruit crumble
and a visit to the North Stifford church village fair where they have a jumble?

Do you think I am going to lay down and put on my multi-coloured neck tie?
Do you think I am going to the Ockendon Hub and learn the art of bonsai?
Do you think I am going to join a boring coffee morning club run by Bub?
Do you think I am going to win the top prize of the pub raffle which is a hot tub?

I am going to survive many life's trials where I will spiritually grow and thrive.
I will survive with the help of Clive who has been liberated from the Borg hive.
I will learn to love from help from above from my animal totem, the dove.
I will go down in the garden and meditate on my animal guide in the dove cove.

I have seen you mope around intu Lakeside* where people shop to drop.
I have seen hop on one leg as you wait to get served a large glass of pop.
I have seen you driving in the Sinclair C5 in the park doing a high five
and other times I have seen you in the pub practising the jive with Clive.

I will prevail for I have the strength and courage of a Klingon warrior
and I have passed many trails in life when I even worked as a stone quarrier.
I have the emotional strength inside me to help me not to fall apart
for I have a brave heart and have become expert in the Klingon martial arts.

I have been very occupied with trying to mend my antique bookend.
Through daily meditation and contemplation I will spiritually ascend.
Then I will go and repair the pieces of my broken garden wheel cart
and practise smiley - magic spells that banish a dementor and a boggart.

I now hold my head up high with my home-made apple and blackberry pie.
I have even set my sights high by training to become a very learned rabbi.
And you will see me as someone new who used to love praying in a church pew.
I have decided to become a member of the elite super-powered few.

But I am saving all my deep down feelings and all my unconditional loving.
I will learn to be calm when waiting in a queue and nor resort to shoving.
You see I am me and I am like no other for I am an individual person
with great optimism, for I knew my life will improve and not worsen.


*intu Lakeside is a shopping centre in Thurrock





Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3988

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I don't drink much, if at all:
Some scotch as I walk down the hall,
Some brandy at dawn,
And wine later on,
And vodka when my ex-wives call.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3989

Reality Manipulator

Take me back to the Northumberland Cheviot Hills
Where we could go to a cafe and have afternoon tea
or perhaps a more substantial meal of a mixed grill
and finish off with a salad with a large slab of brie.

Then we could get in our cars and drive to Ingram Valley
which is the top beauty spot of Northumberland.
I promise that I will not wander or will I dally
when we will stop to listen to the Ingram Brass band.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3990

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Afternoon tea is what I like best,
With cucumber sandwiches daintily dressed,
And cream cheese with lox,
The tail of an ox,
And anything else I request.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3991

Reality Manipulator

A hike to Hawick* can be quite fun
for countryside walkers or bikers
even in the rain or in the sun
where they meet up with h2g2 hitch-hikers.


*Hawick (pronounced hoike) Northumberland town


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3992

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I'll search for the Garden of Eden
Before my hairline starts recedin'.
The apples I'll pick smiley - toffeeapplesmiley - toffeeapple.
I'll eat 'til I'm sick,
And then antacids I'll be needin'.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3993

Reality Manipulator

It is such a lovely sunny day
to have a game of lawn croquet.
Later on we will all be served afternoon tea
where there will be salad with slices of brie.
There will also be plenty of large cakes
all topped with chocolate flakes.
Accompanied with sandwiches filled with steaks
which will be washed down with chocolate and raspberry milk shakes.
There will be generous servings of Devonshire ice cream
which will taste supreme when eaten by the stream.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3994

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

For croquet, you'll need lots of wickets.
You might get distracted by crickets,
And if you're unlucky,
A saucy young ducky
Will flee with your ball to the thickets.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3995

Reality Manipulator

Come to the Ferengi run coffee morning
where items are sold with gold pressed latinum.
They will you greet with a happy grin
and a bottle of vintage Caribbean rum.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3996

Reality Manipulator

smiley - sorrysmiley - biro

Come to the Ferengi run coffee morning
where items are paid with gold pressed latinum.
They will you greet with a happy grin
and a bottle of vintage Caribbean rum


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3997

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Post 3995 by Yoda was writ.
Embarrassed was he? Not one little bit.

smiley - winkeye


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3998

Reality Manipulator

I feel so happy about my life
as I moving to the kingdom of Fife.
It is so fun being in the sun
eating my favourite currant bun.
I will have holidays in the highlands
where everything is grand.
There will be plenty of ceilidhs
and a great variety of artisan cheeses.
So come and join in the gaiety
at Aviemore where you learn how to ski.
There will even be an evening soiree
which will have a gourmet buffet.


Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 3999

Reality Manipulator

Let me hear you say that you want to go and pray
at the cafe with Henri and Renee and their dancing toupee.
You will get the gifts of being able to do ballet
or be good at making a flower displays and crochet.

No it wont' snow tomorrow over the verdant plateau
by the château which is famed for it's giant gateau.
There will be a village tableau and even a musical show
where some will be on the go or going with the flow.

We'll shout aye when reaching the sky after drinking eau de vie
and slices of raspberry and blackberry pie over Mount Sinai.
We'll be singing the Versailles with members of the Egyptian alumni
who are all born under the sign of Gemini and are trained Jedi Samurai.

We won't give up the fight with the Barrow Wight who is a master of sleight
who goes by the name of Dwight who's touch will give severe frostbite.
The Barrow Wight will disappear when meeting up with a Carmelite
who became an erudite Jedi Knight when meeting a Canaanite in the moonlight.

We do what we want and we do it with pride when at Intu Lakeside
shopping centre where there's a spectacular banana slide.
It is a great place to look younger through eating roast beef silverside
through recommendations by the shopping centre culinary guide.

Life can be a chore and even a bore but with the help of ancient folklore
it can make life more interesting when going to the book store
in Bangor where there are centaur and an enchanted sycamore
who come from an alternate reality accessed by a invisible door.

Life is such a blast when sailing in a yacht full mast that makes you flabbergast.
Time travelling so fast back to the past over the sea that's vast.
We'll find the first Cuban Bast where you need to be strong and steadfast
when the weather forecast is not perfect when listening to the newscast.

There is no limit to our humour and wit when sharing the way we knit
or keep fit even when we take part in a short theatrical skit.
So let's do it now and with perseverance we'll be able to do the splits
by the time it's Whit which will be taught to us by a dessert hermit.

No limits will be allowed because when feeling so happy and proud
about wearing a vintage shroud whenever there's a cirrus cloud.
It floats over the hills and the meadows where the land has been ploughed
by the farm workers who shout out loud when watched by a crowd.

I will check my microphone on my smart phone when in the Twilight Zone
when the sound of a trombone appears from a whirling cyclone.
It's encrusted with precious stones that include rubies and moonstones
which has an aroma of eau de cologne that was sent from through the riverRhone.

It is such a great time to rhyme about travelling through time
where they banish all grime with a solution of salt and lime.
You can hear the church bells chime when removing dirt and slime
in preparation of the prestigious village annual winter pantomime.

I'm travelling on the winding long road, I've got no fear
as I am full of cheer after drinking premier organic beer.
I have a clear mind when travelling with a buccaneer and a cavalier
sipping belvedere on their voyage to the final smiley - galaxy frontier.

So just remember to not put caution to the wind by casting a clout
before May is out and to drink draught stout when eating salmon trout.
It will also taste best better eaten with sauerkraut and some Brussels sprouts
and after a long workout which is supposed to prevent you getting gout.










Nonsense verse; or the silliness of the iambs!

Post 4000

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I thought I'd write some lines today,
Which no one will read anyway.
I'll write just to write,
And then say goodnight.
Tomorrow, I'll act in a play.


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