h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Still not feeling cold if anything still just feeling overly hot all the time (actual body temp measures just below normal body temp despite me feeling warm); Its like I'm feeling warm inside (induces sweating though), but actually touching my skin isn't useually hot to touch, if anything its cold to the touch, just I don't feel cold

Diddn't sleep last night, so feeling kinda rubbish today; so awkard to tell how much of that is lack of thyroxin or other hormones levels, or, just having not slept last night - can't focus today, not exactly tired feeling, but the simular style brain fog/mist like the levothyroxin induces is there, right at the front of the brain, just over the eyebrowse (oddly a simular position in the brain to where I first feel the affect of the prednisolone steroids affecting me; which is oddly, slightly lower down in the brain that where I used to feel the hydrocortisone hitting me like a bulldozer)

lots and lots of heart palpitations still, odd vibration feels in left side of body etc, so the levo probably wasn't responsible for them, as it oughta be more or less entirely out of my system after 8 days off it...

Went to a kind of local 'pride' event thing yesterday... not sure why, it was held at the back of a local pub, and... just didn't work... no mixing or mingling of anywone there, just everyone remaining in their groups of who they went along with... listened to some of the bands; every single one had a singer who sang out of tune... beer was pretty insipid, but not overly pricey, but for some odd reason, the diet cola was £2.15 a half... seriously? seriously? £4.30 a pint for cola?- £3.30 for the beer... no I can't figure that out either so we didn't stay there hugely long, came back about 4 or 5 PM, after I'd had about three of the incipid pints, and then had a late lunch....

Went out in the evening, after dinner, to our useual haungth.... - all the useual nut cases wehrer there. so we fitted in.

Talked to guys about loading steroids and testosterone for body building, and came to the shocking realisation they know more about hormones than my endocrinologist - they were shocked I'm not on anything to block oestrodyle, as with my big nabido testosterone injection every 8 weeks, a lot naturally gets convereted to oestrogen/oestrodyle - mind, they did find it amusing when I .... lifting up my breasts inside my dress, pointed out I wasn't necessarily that bothered by some of the side effects, as..... other 'men' might be Mind, its still gona be really weird when my ... balls eventually shrink to nothghing as is the way when one is on testosterone replacement... apparently...

actually just starting to feel a bit of the brain fog lifting now... so that may just be all the ill htat prednisolone causes earlier in the day after my larger morning dose

off to oncology on Wednesday for a checkup thinggy... wondering if they might actually do something; I've a suggestion they might, in conujunction with endocrinology think about getting me a yearly checkup (at least) in cardiology; both side effects from the chemo drugs and from the hormone replacement drugs, dammages my heart, so for once, it'd be nice to be treated as a patient, not as a side of side effects, and, combined both together with a single check up, in cardiology rather than no checkups at all on heart function from either oncology or endocrinology.

shall ask oncology again about my shoulder. been hurting now for over a year since the radiotherapy dammaged it. some physio would be nice. but they don't seem to care that I'm in constant pain with reduced arm movement.

shall get to worry them again, by reminding them how much mor ill I feel now than I did either before, during or immediately after chemo and RT. - they're gona get supper worried again if I mention my temperature sweating things as its one of the main ways I'm ment to monitor likelyhood of the cancer returning, but, its so much more likely to be hormone related... actually must make sure they touch me up - feel my lymph nodes, not entirely sure but a few might be a little 'up' on my neck, ATM which I guess is a kinda bad sign really... but... its so much more likely to be caused by infection or something, or indeed affect of thyroid hormones that I can't be bothered to worry, although I assume I shoudl mention it to them Must wear a hospital top Wednesday.... - I've a few armless tops, err... kinda low cut, that are really useful for when I'm going to hospital; they can access all of both arms for blood drawing and doing pulse, BP etc .... even if my being in a skirt does sometimes seem to confuse the consultant a bit, if he trys to grope my groin to feel for...... enlarged nodes definately starting to wake up a bit now may even make it to the pub tonight

no sleep again last night. that's two nights on the trott now, with no sleep off out to ten pin bowling tonight though... if I can muster any strength whatsoever and stay awake

Well, tried twice during the day, to get sleep, but coudln't sleep. just sitting on chair all day instead, sweating. canceled going bowling.

hussah! I slept last night was still awake laying in bed, circa 4 AM, and had woken fully by 8.30, so not exactly sure how long for... but sleep nonetheless still hot flushes galoor and still 3 weeks until next testosterone injection, as they're every eight weeks still (ment to be every twelve)

off too hospital soon for the oncology clnic follow up thing... I wonder if we get the mad consultant this time who mistakes my husband, as being my whife, and yet doesn't confuse my gender up despite me being the crosss-dressed one such observational skills as one really wants in an oncology consultatnt