h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

items up for discussion today, yesterday... of late... purple/pink feather boa... purple top hat... I'm starting to worry what the chemo nurses are gona make of me.... I'm wondering if its time to tun up for chemo Mar.... 12 I think the next time... just saying and wearing my purple dress and corset or..... how it'd really 'pull off' as a 'look', given I'm not giving up my big black boots, whatever I'm wearing hmmm....

I think... I'm too tired to make it out with Sir... he'll have to go get emergency morning bacon supplys for the patentn.... patent.... patient... oh, that's me... on his own...

I did. maintain standards earlier though

full wash at basin. Coconut moisturiser. made Sir's coffee... then sneakily snuk in... woke him up... and... did so in my most favoured of methods which just about managed to utterly drain me... despite the vast amoutn of coffee we've since had, after I came down and served Sir his Cup, before I had mine

I think I'm getting some chemo side-affects.... well.... something is making me silly horny ... I say 'silly', as its hard to actually muster sufficient ... energy when also feeling a little... hmmm....

a little...


"a little under the weather". yep, that'll do... I'll admit to that.... just odn't tell anyone I've a plan so cunning... I think...

Chainmaile.... handmade... handcuffs.... pair... on their way..../just orered so... so me... so... so... Still considering purchase of new purple feather boa

Oh you.

where you've been hiding?

Life. Life does it, it's mean and stops me from being here.

I lurk though, when I have a chance. Every now and then I dream of returning, and then I discover I need to to A Thing and then I'm not here (I might have drunk rather too many s and may not be coherent).

drink!? I so wanna be just well enough... soon that I can take advantage of a nice warm day, and have one* pint of beer, in the beer garden at my local!; the sun... today.... looked so nice out!

Liettle objectives... heck may even make that one within a week or so time... real life... sometimes ... just... suck in the ... all the wrong ways

It was, I managed to actually go for a walk and it was beautiful. It's been so dull lately it was wonderful to get out early before the driving rain and hail came down up here in Shropshire.

Good objective, my darling. Do-o-o-o i-i-i-it.

Life does indeed. And not in the good way.

Well.. .I've not actually managed to have the strength, concnetration etc, to make it outdoors, of the house now, for about hrtree days... but tomorro must make it to the GP surgery, and the pharmacy and, hopefull* then into town, to teh market for the decent bread... back via Boots, Body shop and Lush (guess wehre the fag money I'm not spending is going?!), and probably the cafe, on teh way back and thence the little sup supermarekt place, for more choc bar.s.... scotch eggs... pork pies.... and stuff and rubish... and yogarsts... and hcoc... and choc... lots of choc... and maybe more butter and cheese.. and sausges and eggs, and bacon... I'm averaging 8 to 12 sausages, and the same of baocn, per day now... and not gaining an ounce in weight

made it out. didn't pass out in the street...

went to GPs ... got script... got drugs... got very then, looiking at how many they'd scripted..... so went back to GP surgery, and put in, immediately another repeat script form stupid... stupid... ; yep; just enough tablets, so they'd run out at the weekend, and it'd be impossible to be able to put in a repeat form, on any other day, other htan the one I'd just picked up the new drugs on

Got phonecall from my Dr/GP water/fluid thing seems wsorted (sodium normal) more tea! more tea! I've turned into a drinker!; the more things m move on... the more I'm coming to the conclusion that having cancer... being sort of 'ill' is really actually all about the drinking of with natch seriously....

I predict.... cucumber sandwichs are not far off now

wnt into town damn wind! OMG!



OK, as we'd just scored the drugs, stopped early at cafe, so I could get a doze of hydrocortisone yeh... man...

"two double expressos please, and some hydrocortisone" well; of course, in reality I provided the drugs

made it to the market

got bread bread

invaded Lush.

smelt stuff...

just kept saying 'that' 'one', when I smelt soemthing liked spent a fortune have... very strange looking items.... I think I'm ment to put them into a bath or soemthing... which ... really means I'm gona have to clean this bath... I don't think I've ever used the bath in my house... as I only ever shower

went into Boots, bought more 'regular' cosmetic stuf... honey and rasberry body wash, for a change, plus a couple more coconut ones

HOpe I've enough body butter, coco butter, and coconut oil and coconut butter, to last the next few days

oh, woke early today, circa 5. showered at 7, after having made
then served Sir his coffee, after I'd beautified myself and got all dressed well... sort of dressed

after body shop... err... think I got more shaving gel stuff there popped in to supermarket place, to get washing/laundry tablets.. oh; and a trip into buy a tin opener too... seriously...

so. so annoying.

I've used nothing but the olde fashioned sort of tin opener for years... all my life.. and I seem to ahve finally, been forced, to buy one of those fancy ones,... that attached to the tin, and you turn a handle on it? I'm not even sure how you use such a thing; I only know how to use the stabby ones!

letter from oncology doc/consultant.... mentioing again they're trying to chase down endochronology; confirmed what I thought'; they've not even done the right ing test for addiisons; Dr/GP agreed on phone earlier; with my diagnosis; more likely to be pituitory related lack of err... aCTH? damn brain... think that's the one...

so hopefully get that sorted soon... as its clearly not addisons I've got, IMO... not the autoimmune endochrone thinggy anyhow... although end result is basically the same...

I demand correctless correctness

had to send William back on his own, to put in second repeat script for the hydrocortisone.... I knew I@d not be able to just stop myself biting the poor receptionists head off... Sir managed, and seems to ahve gotten consent about sillyness of the scripting period... waiting for return call from GP or someone to confirm a longer scipting period

then. so so so so so so so cross with myself. --

I got so grotty.... ratty.... with Sir/William... so... disresctible... so disresrespectable.... so ... not right... so deserve punishment for that... only I'm not well enough for one... he so didn't deserve that... me being all ratty and ... crappy with him naughty naughty naughty....

time for more Sir gone home for a couple days, back Wednesday... I think Must get on... try do some housework... or something... or... just sleep or something... no useful... must get stuff done...



really need a suitable wall to demolish with my bare hands right now... so. gotta behave. not do that. I've broken fingers and stuff in the past, easy enough using things like solid walls as anger punchbags... and I guess... doing so now... is really not a great idea

I'm behaving. honest. mostly.

can't wait for the little... presents I obught myself to arrive... may take a while... being hand made... chainmail..... sort ot bracelet things... well... sort of ... chainmail handcuff bracelet things... really.... if... they're like I think they might be.... I may have to get matching ones... or one matching one... for... an ankle or two too

right. time to go put some of this 'product' I bought from Boots/Bodyshop/Lush away in teh cupbaord and drink this tea... and contemplate cucumber sandwichs

Hurrah for making it home safely.

Argh for them making mistakes though. So frustrating!

Well. it all did get very confusing, at a few points... ; like anything with me ain't anything other than confusing eh? ;;

and, its all very screwy in my head; due to the confusing ness of all of it...

err... my morory memory got so badly screwed up... sort of lost of most all of my memory since about September 1st and so... kinda only vaguely recall getting lympma diagnosis... then there was this fit/seisure thing... then a stay in hospital, that confused everything and got me on a neurology ward... the neurology ward just wanted rid of me... that they eventually did... but I'm sure it was maybe they who did some test... that showed up, this Addinsons which isn't addinsons... and then... oncology... now waiting for endcronology as well... but mainly now just the oncology... and haematology... of course... but, the big one is hopefully get the damn endochronology thing sorted, and figure out if this addisons is that... or the what I think it is thing (which my Dr/GP that I spole too, kinda seems to believe my diagnosis )

and... in the meantime... so tired... energy up... energy down... brain all mangled hmm. OK... even more* mangled than 'normal'.... - its like my definition of 'normal' can't be redefined quick enough each day to cope with the latest level of weirdness

luckily. of course. for me. I'm totally insane. which helps.

and..... I'm so gona win the bet with William... ; there's this nurse you see... and... damnit... I'm so gona win the bet yeh... I know... hardly got strength to make a cucumber sandwich half the time... yet...

oh... now I can't decide... yet more tea... or... damnit... maybe a quick nap before main dinner so much eating

may entice my Brother over next weekend, err, weekend coming, as William can't make it over... entice him with threats of curry takeaway... and pubs... and then get him hear and make him clean my filthy bathroom... I've so not got the energy for that right now which. is. so. wrong Its my damn job... I do the ocoking.... cleaning... well... I can get some more laundry done tomorrow I think... and maybe finish off setting up the new second-hand laptop thing I was given and... just... awaiting the arrival of the ... bracelet things I bought myself as a treat stpuid body... stpud stupid stpudi BoB-damn body... do what I ing well tell you

something with pasta tonight for dinner... main dinner... then... probably from then onwards... more gautaux and choc icecream and yogarts and... all damn night... so hungry all the time... damn stupid drugs...

I have a really bizarre tin opener which looks like a mouse (a computer one). You stick it on the top of the tin, press the button and let go. Hang on...ah, here it is:

http://thumbs3.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mszPPn-u9OsoIsHhpMhg73A.jpg

Deb

Its so much harder to use the fancy tin opener than my olde fashioned stabbing the tin one! though I did manage... and didn't even cut myself....

towel-laundry day today... so many towels... I expect folding of towels to occur later...

if... I can just... find the energy to clean the bath... and my bedroom floor... then... loater.... later.... I've an appointment... with some very expensive 'stuff' I bought from Lush this evening - I've never seen anyone look so terrrified in my life, as William did, the other day; when I took him into Lush; its just such an unknown universe to him actually.... very cruel of me, to even take him into such a place; it took weeks to get him into bodyshop afterall hmmm... I probably deserve a punishment for that... ... whenever I'm next feeling actually capible of taking a punishment damnit... must... do stuff

towels washed. dried. folded, put away tea-towel drawer cleaned out, and tea-towels rearranged correctly. bedroom swept, 'rough' clean, and then cleaning spray stuff, p plus disposable cloth, over floor, skirting etc tidied bedroom a bit

so. many. cups. of

now....... and suddenly its time to shower... and start thinking about dinner