h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not sure if anything can be made to sound Raunchy just by adding "ooo....errr" or "ra ra" to it...I mean......"Ratchet Screwdriver..ooo.....errr"....doesn't work....Does it? There must be definate prohibitive words surely?

Actually, "Ratchet Screwdriver" could be considered pretty raunchy all by itself, if you really want to think of it that way. But the fact is just adding the words "oh err" and "Ra Ra" doesn't mean much itself, but it's in the _way_ you say them and the tone of voice you use which adds the raunchiness to the equation.

The "_way_" you say, yes. And don't forget the eyebrow!

can you actually initiate sex with any of these phrases, though? It seems unlikely.

You can initiate sex with virtually any phrase, provided you're standing on the right street corner and you're waving a handful of paper money when you do it.

Now-a-days you don't even have to bother standing on the corner with money. Just open your phone book and turn to the 'E' section. Saves time and money! Or.. *ahem*, so I've heard.

The question was whether you could initiate sex with any phrase or not. Calling up someone on the phone and saying "I am in desperate need to have someone come over and check out my gas" is just not going to work, no matter how much money you're waving at the time. Repeat this experiment on the proper (improper?) street corner, and you're likely to find an interested party, although whether the experience is what you were looking for is not at all certain.

Oo er matron worked for kenneth Williams

Ah, but if you dial the correct telephone number, any prase will work, and you don't even have to wave money. It has to be the correct phone number, just as it has to be the correct corner. Standing on the corner across the street from the Police Station will certianly yeild an unkindly result. It was just a quick and silly comment on my part anyhow, nothing to get up about.

He's the one I want. Ooh ooh ooh.

How about a phrase like "as long as I have a face, you have a place to sit" ? Does that need the ooh err, or ra ra postfix ?

Sounds rather similar to "eh oh" - a phrase associated with a certain quartet of childrens entertainers, definately nothing to do with sex. Presumably "the way you say" is very important when you try out your "oooh"s and "eh"s?

"eh oh", nothing to do with sex? Have you never heard of Teletubby custard?

Yeah what's with those strange things poking out their heads too? Dodgy, very dodgy....
As for the phrase thing, pretending to be a tellytubby has never got me into bed with anyone yet.

If you already look like a tellytubby, as I do (pass the cake Shiela), you don't have much choice.
"Eh Oh" can work as long as you are equipped with the right antennae .

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obviously you're not in LA...

Hmmm, don't you mean obviously not in LA LA . . .?

Shouldn't this now be called "Oh err and La La?"

OK. "SEX" and "Teletubbies". This cannot go on. What was the article about again ??

It was about Ra Ra the Teletubby, (well one in four is Chinese), subject of Boney M's "Ra Ra Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen". So you see, sex and the teletubbies has been around longer than you think. It's just one of these taboo subjects that must be broken down if our children are to be warned of the dangers of speaking to strange TV characters. We'll be needing anatomically correct Teletubbies next . . .

Wombeevil. Here is a tenuous link ... www.h2g2.com/a60157