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Milla's mother
Malabarista - now with added pony Posted Jul 15, 2014
I'm sorry about that, and that it went so fast. Good thoughts your way.
Milla's mother
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Jul 16, 2014
Thanks all for your thoughts.
I'm still in some sort of not realising, I think. On one hand I feel relief that she isn't struggling, she isn't getting sicker all the time like she was. And that I don't have to worry any more. And I can spend time at home again - not going to the hospice.
But I can't really get that she's gone for real. That she won't be at their house again - I've been to see dad, but it looks the same, like she is just out briefly. Perhaps I just don't have the "missing someone" molecules in my brain? Odd, anyway.
Milla's mother
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 16, 2014
Sending good thoughts to you and your family
Milla's mother
SashaQ - happysad Posted Jul 16, 2014
I'm thinking of you, Milla
I know what you mean about some sort of not realising...
I do miss my partner so much, as we used to chat online every evening and I really miss sharing our news, but otherwise everything is the same, and it is odd... Hard to know what real is...
Milla's mother
Websailor Posted Jul 16, 2014
You will get that feeling for a while. One day they are there, the next they are not. Even if expected it is still hard to come to terms with, but concentrating on the fact that they are not suffering any more is a great help. I felt guilty about the relief I felt but it is normal.
Websailor 
Milla's mother
You can call me TC Posted Jul 17, 2014
You don't need special molecules, Milla - it is quite a normal reaction. It may take up to three months to sink in.
Milla's mother
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Jul 23, 2014
friends. You're the best.
After some downtime, things are gearing up again. Dad needs help and moral support, talking to the bank about shifting the credit debts to a regular loan, selling the house, this and that. And learning to use the computer bank. It's a bit glitchy to be honest, but he's scared to make mistakes, and thinks the glitches are his fault. But we're getting there. And we use black humour to pull through, I just worry we made the banking lady a bit uneasy by joking... oh well.
Peewee and I were there the other day, picking shoes and clothes from mum's closet. It felt weird, but dad seemed genuinely happy that we found things we like. And I'm not sure what it says about our family that her tastes work for three generations 
.
And for the funeral, we asked that people donate to cancer research instead of buying big flower arrangements. Donation messages are already trickling in, which feels really good. I'm surprised at how nice that felt. The letters don't say how much was donated, which also feels surprisingly good.
So, in all the strangeness, there is a lot of good. Including you all.
Milla's mother
Witty Moniker Posted Jul 23, 2014
Don't worry about outsiders' reactions to your actions regarding the death of your mother. If you understand each other as a family, that's all that matters. I'm sure that banking lady forgot about you 10 minutes after you left the building.
Milla's mother
Beatrice Posted Jul 23, 2014
So sorry for your loss. Wishing you and yours the strength and grace to get through x
Milla's mother
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 24, 2014
Things may seem bleak now but I understand you are getting better and anyway even this bleaknes shall pass
The light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily a train roaring towards you 
Milla's mother
Santragenius V Posted Jul 26, 2014
A late 
(here, anyway) - and what they said. Seems you're coping even though it of course is hard - I'd even say coping well 
Milla's mother
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Jul 30, 2014
The funeral service was today. It turned out just like I wanted it - scout themed songs (One that we used to sing at the end of campfires, and tapto (taps) on trumpet, and others that we sung at scout confirmation camp), and the "I have gone home" symbol on the agenda.
All her siblings came, with spouses and many children, and old friends and colleagues, and new(-ish) golf friends.
The priest is also a golf friend, and she did a wonderful job. The golf gang came for coffee at dad's house later, and it's a wonderful bunch. I'm glad they are around for dad, and make sure he keeps coming out playing with them.
And now I am exhausted. I think I'll sleep well tonight.
Milla's mother
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jul 30, 2014
Sleep well, you have earned it
Glad to hear it went as planned and that you and your father are surrounded by friends and family
Milla's mother
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Feb 10, 2015
Today would be mum's birthday.
I'm not sure what to do about it. I think of her, but I don't want to go visit her grave today. Is that rude?
Milla's mother
lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned Posted Feb 10, 2015
Milla, there are no hard and fast rules for this.
Go visit when you are ready 
At the end of this month I will be visiting my mum's grave on the 10th anniversary and taking her favourite flowers, yellow s
lil xx
Key: Complain about this post
Milla's mother
- 21: Bald Bloke (Jul 13, 2014)
- 22: Websailor (Jul 13, 2014)
- 23: 8584330 (Jul 15, 2014)
- 24: Vip (Jul 15, 2014)
- 25: Malabarista - now with added pony (Jul 15, 2014)
- 26: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jul 16, 2014)
- 27: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 16, 2014)
- 28: SashaQ - happysad (Jul 16, 2014)
- 29: Websailor (Jul 16, 2014)
- 30: You can call me TC (Jul 17, 2014)
- 31: Hati (Jul 18, 2014)
- 32: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jul 23, 2014)
- 33: Witty Moniker (Jul 23, 2014)
- 34: Beatrice (Jul 23, 2014)
- 35: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 24, 2014)
- 36: Santragenius V (Jul 26, 2014)
- 37: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jul 30, 2014)
- 38: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jul 30, 2014)
- 39: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Feb 10, 2015)
- 40: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Feb 10, 2015)
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