h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've a feeling this could be another ongoing thread.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-11494811
Seriously? It's a conker tree. It has conkers on it. They drop off the tree. That's what conkers do. Nature made it that way. If you walk under a conker tree a conker might drop on your bonce. We've known that for centuries.

Good grief.

Well, the 'good' news is that we might soon see the end of these daft health-and-safety-gone-mad conker stories. Between bleeding canker, leaf miner moths and fungal attacks, chestnut trees across Britain could be going the way of the elm in the next decade or so.

Today is "Total Health and Safety" day at JSC, the day when all of us NASA workers are to walk around the booths giving away health and safety related swag, check our work areas for hazards, do annual fire evacuation practices, etc.

Several years ago, the "safety rep" for our contract enthusiastically kept trying to justify his position. One time he wrote up a close call report because he saw a cigarette butt on a sidewalk as an eminent fire hazard. OK... plausible. Then there was the time he reprimanded an employee for not using proper PPE (personal protective equipment), i.e. safety glasses while using the paper cutter... OK, that was inane. This was a modern rotary type paper cutter. I can think of no possible way a "paper splinter" could shoot up from it to stab you in the eyeball. But then came his high point. There were a few men from a neighboring building who would kick around a football during their lunch break, get a little exercise, sun and fresh air. Just dribbling and passing. Well, one fellow missed a pass and the ball gently rolled out of their circle and hit our safety guy in the ankle as he walked down the sidewalk. He wrote it up and ended their daily routine.

Seriously?

Ya know, I couldn't help but feel a bit of schadenfreude when I heard he was on leave due to an injury suffered from a fall from a ladder at home... A safety wonk worries about imaginary paper shards and deadly soccer balls but doesn't secure a ladder before he climbs it. How ironic.

Oh, the irony

A UK without chestnut and horse chestnut trees would be unthinkable, but there are still elm trees there so I'm optimistic.

Either that, or it's as good as a signed confession that he was swinging the lead. If your mental processes revolve around health and safety hazards, what excuse would suggest itself first when you want a few days off?

Falling off a ladder!

Or maybe I'm too cynical.

I do like the way they try to play it down:

"The notice will stay there until the conkers have fallen to the ground - and they are then free to be used by children, or indeed visitors of any age, as they always have done for conker contests or similar autumn pastimes."

TRiG.

Oh, I almost forgot my favorite inanity. We had a periodic safety walk-thru/inspection one day while I was out of the office. The next day one of my supervisors told me that they had made a note of an unlabeled container of liquid in my office. It was a filtering water pitcher. What the hell did they think was in it?

So I labeled it in bold text, just waiting for their next walk-thru:

"WATER*"

smaller text below:

"*labeled for the benefit of the thinking impaired."


I haven't heard a word about it since.

easy way

on the entrance to the park put up the sign

warning! gravity opperating in this area!!

anyone who then gets hit by a falling object or falls over, its their own fault, they were warned

We have to label every spray bottle (which usually contain either bleach solution or commercial sanitiser/disinfectant) in case anyone drinks it. If we don't have clear labels or writing on the bottle we'll be marked down at the next health inspection.

Seriously, who drinks from spray bottles And who works in a bar where said spray bottles are used every day for cleaning, and therefore who knows what's in them, and drinks from a spray bottle?

Oh, and here's a new one, from a piece I'm currently listening to on the radio.

Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, wants to stop people from buying soda with their food stamps. Sounds like a good idea to me, and recipients of food stamps are already prohibited from using the stamps to buy cigarettes and booze. Sounds sensible to me.

But there's a catch, of course. Diet sodas will be exempt.

That's right. Your kids can't toss all that high fructose corn syrup down their necks but dubious chemicals are okay. Heaven forbid they should actually drink something like orange juice.

Seriously?

I've often thought that, while food stamps are for purchasing food, there is one non-food item that should be buyable with them. After all, the need for toilet paper is attributable to eating and drinking...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11499872
Seriously? I'm... speechless. I have no words to describe how stupid that is, even in these litigious times. And she's a relative of the child fer cryin' out loud

That confused me. I had never heard that usage of the term "grooming". I had to google it.

But yeah, now that I understand the article...

Seriously?!

<>

she gave the kid a biscuit

what would have happend if she had been brushing the kids hair??

<>

I could almost understand it if she just had a telling off for showing preferential treatment to one child, because she should be treating all the children equally, but the jump from there to potential grooming is insane.

Seriously??!


Geggs

I was going to bring this story to yer attention, as it happens. The interesting thing is that the woman wasn't accused of 'grooming'; she was told that she *could* be accused of it.

Now, that's half the problem. The *perception* that we live in a ridiculously litigious society (even when we don't) leads people to behave as though we do.

Mmm. I was just reading this week's TES (Times Educational Supplement - not actually a supplement, but a separate publication) talking about Michael Gove's commitment to ending "the no-touch rule". Legally there is no such rule, though some schools do put something like it in their contract.

http://www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6060246

That said, society is more litigious, and insurance companies can be awkward about what events they'll insure.

I can understand why organisations are sometimes careful to the point of ludicrosity because they are genuinely afraid of being sued by pillocks who should be slapped very hard with a 10lb salmon and pushed in the nearest canal, but are instead awarded ridiculous sums in compensation, and that's where the problem lies - the system that allows these muppets to make the claims and the judges and/or juries who see fit to make the awards instead of using the common sense that the rest of us seem to have and throwing the whole thing out for the gold-digging and mean-ness of spirit that it is.

This instance, however, goes beyond even that and, as KB rightly points out, she wasn't even accused of grooming but of the potential to groom The pendulum has swung too far in the direction of over-cautiousness and it's robbing us of simple human decency and compassion, not to mention the right to defend yourself. People whose property is under attack from kids are sometimes afraid to do anything because of the possibility of being prosecuted or sued for whatever they might do in retaliation. It's got to stop.

One of our nearby branches recently had a threat of legal action from a customer who had tripped over on the shop floor. She fell over a 'Wet Floor' sign...

Meanwhile, I'm glad to see that this is going ahead this year:
http://www.otterytarbarrels.co.uk/