A Conversation for Carnegie Libraries
Peer Review: A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Bluebottle Started conversation Dec 2, 2014
Entry: Carnegie Libraries - A87764610
Author: Bluebottle - U43530
Authors:
~ jwf ~ (U162344)
aka Bel (U230913)
Bluebottle (U43530)
clzoomer (U200838)
Dmitri Gheorgheni (U1590784)
Elektragheorgheni (U14668388)
Florida Sailor (U235886)
Geggs (U201647)
Gnomon (U151503)
Happy Nerd (U8584330)
KWDave (U8273640)
Lanzababy (U10790805)
lil ~ (U551837)
MMF (U236774)
Mu Beta (U190397)
paulh (U176638)
Rod (U2465093)
SashaQ (U9936370)
sprout (U192568)
Still Incognitas (U144709)
Superfrenchie (U9937105)
TRiG (Ireland) (U612575)
An article about Andrew Carnegie, a remarkable philanthropist who founded libraries all around the .
I said I'd put it in Peer Review by the end of the year.
<BB<
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Elektragheorgheni -Please read 'The Post' Posted Dec 2, 2014
Thanks for seeing this through BB. I hope that you'll have a better 2015 and less messing with NHS!
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Dec 2, 2014
This came out well.
I'd suggest changing the first reference to Pittsburgh to 'Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania'.
I say this largely because a woman once sarcastically remarked to me, 'Oh, I thought you meant Pittsburg(h), Kansas.'
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Dec 2, 2014
I think you'll need to write an introductory paragraph saying that this is a collaborative entry offering first hand experience of Carnegie Libraries in various places and as a result is far from comprehensive. You can use phrases like "We've consulted our Researchers and have put together their experiences and recollections..."
Otherwise it looks like a badly researched attempt to describe every library.
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Rod Posted Dec 3, 2014
first line: 'was a Scottish American industrialist'
->
? Scottish-American or Scottish/American
... one of the wealthiest men ever through ...
->
one of the wealthiest men ever, through (comma)
- - - -
heading: The Carnegie Libraries:
The 'Schedule of Questions'
Q4 -> How many books does it have?
- - - -
heading: Peace Libraries
line 3
help make people intelligent enough
-> help make people aware enough
- - - -
more later...
Rod
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Bluebottle Posted Dec 3, 2014
That's a fair point and a new paragraph has been added, as well as clarifying which Pittsburgh. Good job there's only one Isle of Wight (except for Isle of Wight County, Virginia)
<BB<
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Rod Posted Dec 4, 2014
Another point:
Heading: United Kingdom
... Dunfermline in 1883. This bares the appropriate motto, Let there be light.
- bares -> bears
Heading: Staffordshire
...Fenton in the Potteries was the only town out of the six towns that make the city of Stoke-on-Trent unable to raise the funds to have a library itself.
[hmm, not entirely clear to these eyes...]
? -> Fenton, in the Potteries was the only town, out of the six that the city of Stoke-on-Trent consists of, that was unable to raise the funds to have a library itself.
Heading: North America
Canada
hmm, not too sure of my grammar here ... but it doesn't quite gel...
? ->
The breakdown of Carnegie libraries by Canadian province is
Ontario - 111: [move the colon?]
Manitoba - 4:
Heading: British Columbia - Vancouver
last para - love it, leave as it is!
Heading: United States of America / Pittsburgh
2nd sentence
?->... If you wanted a book from the closed stacks, you'd fill out a request slip and ... , then go and sit down ...
- - - -
Rod
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
minorvogonpoet Posted Dec 4, 2014
This article is obviously the result of a great deal of effort and collaboration.
One or two crits
The second sentence is a bit ambiguous - it could mean either Carnegie or his family.
In the section on New Zealand's Carnegie libraries, I'm not sure whether the figure of £150,000 for building a house relates to the time the Carnegie libraries were built or today.
In the section on Staffordshire, I don't understand the first sentence.
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Dec 4, 2014
My only major suggestion is that you go through and either identify the 'I' in each different section by username - or preface each section by saying something like, 'A Researcher from... has this to say about ...'
Maybe somebody else has a different approach to suggest? It's just that the changing narrators are going to cause confusion, I'm afraid.
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Bluebottle Posted Dec 4, 2014
I thought I'd posted earlier. I meant to say:
Thanks for your suggestions Rod and Minorvogonpoet, I've reworded the Staffordshire, Pittsburgh, New Zealand and second sentence sections so hopefully they're clearer now.
(One of the problems with collaborative entries is that you don't always know the full intention behind every sentence in the way that you do with your own entries.)
So, is there a Carnegie Library near you, MVP? If so, please tell me about it!
<BB<
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Recumbentman Posted Mar 7, 2015
Which should probably have a capital D
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Recumbentman Posted Mar 7, 2015
three cities worst-affected
should be either
three worst-affected cities
or
three cities worst affected
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Recumbentman Posted Mar 7, 2015
The listing of NZ libraries is somehow too prominent. You could equally list all the UK and Ireland ones, but would we want a list of 660?
At least the NZ list should be reduced to a normal paragraph. Numbering and line-spacing are not needed.
The Dublin libraries should perhaps include the very grand building in Rathmines, and the smaller gems in Pembroke and Clondalkin.
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Recumbentman Posted Mar 7, 2015
The mention of The Curious Case of the Mayo Librarian is tantalising. Perhaps a little detail would help the reader. The Kindle precis of the book says "In July 1930 Miss Letitia Dunbar Harrison, a graduate of Trinity College, was appointed to the post of Mayo County Librarian. Her appointment set in motion a chain of events that resulted in a full scale political crisis. Mayo priests and politicians attempted to have her removed, and organised an effective boycott of the Library Service."
Curiously, the incident is mentioned in this morning's Irish Times! Diarmaid Ferriter's list of "Modern Ireland in 60 ironies" includes:
No. 13: "Well Done Mayo!" (Front page of the Catholic Bulletin in 1931 after Mayo County Council refused to sanction the appointment of a Protestant librarian).
However this may be slightly off-topic for an Entry on the Carnegie Libraries, as the post of County Librarian was a government appointment, though based in a Carnegie Library. The government in 1931 had disbanded Mayo County Council over its refusal to accept Miss Dunbar. its In 1981 Senator John A. Murphy said "the appropriate Minister at that time ... wanted to keep Miss Letitia Dunbar Harrison in office ... not because he was somehow inflamed with non-sectarian zeal but because he did not like the action of the Mayo County Council in suspending her. It was a government versus local government dispute rather than anything else."
A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
Recumbentman Posted Mar 7, 2015
Overall this project has a massive balance problem. It is going to be nigh impossible to balance the wealth of detail in one place with the dearth in another.
Of what value in the grand scheme of things, or even in the minor scheme of this Entry, is the statement "There is one in Fratton in Portsmouth"?
Key: Complain about this post
Peer Review: A87764610 - Carnegie Libraries
- 1: Bluebottle (Dec 2, 2014)
- 2: Elektragheorgheni -Please read 'The Post' (Dec 2, 2014)
- 3: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Dec 2, 2014)
- 4: Gnomon - time to move on (Dec 2, 2014)
- 5: Rod (Dec 3, 2014)
- 6: Rod (Dec 3, 2014)
- 7: Bluebottle (Dec 3, 2014)
- 8: Rod (Dec 4, 2014)
- 9: minorvogonpoet (Dec 4, 2014)
- 10: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Dec 4, 2014)
- 11: Bluebottle (Dec 4, 2014)
- 12: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Dec 4, 2014)
- 13: SashaQ - happysad (Mar 6, 2015)
- 14: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 15: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 16: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 17: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 18: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 19: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
- 20: Recumbentman (Mar 7, 2015)
More Conversations for Carnegie Libraries
- A88048100 - Jacques Bellot's 1586 Phrasebook: How to Speake English Perfectlye [16]
10 Hours Ago - A88047110 - 'Persuasion' - a Novel by Jane Austen [1]
4 Days Ago - A88045059 - Is There a Doctor in. . . ? Paging Dr Gregory House [5]
Feb 17, 2024 - A88043510 - Mergansers - Saw-billed Ducks [1]
Jan 22, 2024 - A88040207 - 'Now and Then' - the Final Beatles Song [3]
Jan 15, 2024
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."