A Conversation for The Stewarts. George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Peer Review: A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 1

bobstafford

Entry: George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham - A87794419
Author: bobstafford - U3151547

Please comment


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 2

Bluebottle

Hello, another worthy contribution to the series.

There are a few spelling and grammatical errors, so I'd recommend a read through. (Spelling mistakes are always easier to spot by people who didn't write the article in the first place. I find if I write something, I can't spot mistakes straight away, but if I wait a month without reading it again and then re-read it, they all jump out at mesmiley - weird.)

Anyway, here are the thoughts I had after a first read through:

It might be a good idea to list the hierarchy of titles used in England at the time, to give an idea of the significance of Buckingham's position. I would disagree with the assertion that a count was unimportant, though – it is still a mid-position title. In descending order, these were:
King and Queen, Duke and Duchess, Prince and Princess (although in mediæval times Lady), Marquess and Marchioness, Earl and Countess, Viscount and Viscountess, Baron and Baroness, Baronet and Baronetess, Knight and Dame

Does Brooksby Hall still exist?
Quick google later: http://www.brooksbyhall.co.uk

Lady Catherine Manners - You use both Catherine and Katherine – is it possible to keep to one? Perhaps write 'Catherine, also known as Katherine' and then stick to one spelling thereafter throughout?

'accompanied Charles on both his to find a wife' – both his what?

You mention the war on Spain but then go straight into La Rochelle, which is in France. This implies that George Villiers got lost somewhere in the Bay of Biscay and attacked the wrong county. You could perhaps mention that this was part of the Thirty Years' War, a largely Protestant v Catholic conflict. (It is always difficult to limit the amount of background detail, as this is the story of the George Villiers, not the history of the Huguenots after Henri IV.)

George Villier's assassination appears in the 1974 film 'The Four Musketeers', directed by Beatles and Superman director Dick Lester (although in this fictionalised film he is seduced into murdering Buckingham by Faye Dunaway) having previously played a large role in 1973's definitive 'The Three Musketeers'.

You could link to:
A619760 - 'The Three Musketeers' by Alexandre Dumas

<BB<


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 3

bobstafford

Thanks for thatsmiley - ok

All done ready for comment smiley - smiley


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 4

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

Hi

First of all, I wouldn't put footnotes into a header. It is a good idea to tell us about the ranks of nobility and about Buckingham Palace, but it just looks wrong in the header. In my opinion the first header could be removed completely and the first paragraph should be kept without header as a short introduction, as it is often done in Entries. You can add the footnotes somewhere else.

'...his family status was described as impoverished the family home of Brooksby Hall is imposing and it is clear the family were reasonably well off.'
If not reading footnote 4 this sentence makes no sense at all. It says the family was impoverished and reasonably well off. You should give additional information outside of the footnote here.

'During this visit he came to the notice of the king, his appearance and personality may have been striking, however something about him persuaded James appoint George to the post of royal Cup bearer the same year.'
You should mention that James is the king. Not everyone will know.

'The king’s behaviour at court was such that Charles kept away from court whenever possible.'
Charles who? I don't think you mentioned anyone called Charles before.

'In 1620 George perhaps in a move to improve his image married Lady Catherine Manners.'
This sentence should be moved down, probably used as the first sentence in the section about him and Lady Katherine.

You still have plenty of Katherine and Catherine.

Shouldn't you mention George's brother earlier, when you talk about his family?
And then you should combine the 'George And Lady Katherine' and 'Charles Marriage' sections, because they are the same, as he was married to Lady Katherine, right? No need to split that.

'Such was the friendship between the two that George accompanied Charles on both his trips to find a wife.'
This sentence is still there, BB has mentioned it already.

'James concluded the matter of the Spanish marriage negotiations by declaring war on Spain. This was to provide George with the opportunity to embark on a military career.'
They started a war only to give George a chance to fight? Really?

'The Huguenots of France or more correctly called the Protestant Reformed Church of France. '
The Hugenots what? This sentence is missing a verb.
same here:
'John Felton a lieutenant who had been wounded at La Rochelle and bore a grudge against Buckingham.'

How old was Buckingham when he died? I'd like to know that at the end of the Entry.


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 5

bobstafford

Thank you for the review. All done Tav I hope it is all in order now please comment smiley - cheers


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 6

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

smiley - cheers That's much better.

The sentence about George's brother is still in the section about his wife and children.

Also, the sentence about the Huguenots is still not very good. Same with Felton, he's not properly 'introduced', if you know what I mean.


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 7

bobstafford

Thanks for the advice Tav

Still have the Huguenots to edit but the rest have been done and ready for comment


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 8

bobstafford

Although there has been a minor adjustment made smiley - smiley


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 9

bobstafford

Comments please smiley - ok


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 10

SashaQ - happysad

I'm reading this, and it is really interesting - a subject I had vaguely heard about but didn't know any detail of smiley - ok

I'm not sure what the reference to the passages in the Bible is saying - was James not religious, or is the reference just intended to be a euphemism for him being gay or bi?

"Catherine's father the 6²th Earl of Rutland" - what is the little number, there? Is it 6th Earl, or 62nd Earl?

The paragraph just above the "La Rochelle" header should be deleted, as it is a copy of the paragraph higher up.

"George Villiers Duke of Buckingham died aged just 33, just 5 days short of his 36th birthday." - I see it should say 35 rather than 33 there.

smiley - ok


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 11

bobstafford

Thank you for reading this,

I'm not sure what the reference to the passages in the Bible is saying - was James not religious, or is the reference just intended to be a euphemism for him being gay or bi?

Romans 1:24-27New International Version (NIV)

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful .........

26 Because of this, God gave them over to ..............

An entry is not the place for a discussion of a now out dated set of morals of the time or to comment about personal matters. People who are interested or don't get the hint, can look it up!

Catherine's father the 6th Earl of Rutland

George Villiers Duke of Buckingham died aged just 33, just 5 days short of his 33th birthday.

More comments please

smiley - smiley


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 12

SashaQ - happysad

Thanks bob

I did look the passages up, but I wasn't clear about what you were hinting... I thought maybe the King James Bible contained passages specially to comment on King James' non-religious behaviour, but if the passages are also in the NIV, then was I right in thinking you are just using the passages as a euphemism for his sexuality?

I'm not sure the reference is needed, as I think your pleasingly delicate description of the situation is hint enough, and maybe the reference opens more smiley - canofworms than it closes...


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 13

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

A very good Entry!

I am sorry I have not commented sooner. One place I got a bit confused about was when you started telling us about George and Charles II, I started thinking you had switched to the second Duke of Buckingham. By the end I realized that you had not. You might consider adding something like;

>>George Villiers is remembered today as a favourite of King James, and for his swift elevation to a position of wealth and power.

To just add a brief mention he went on to serve both James' son and grandson.

Or, you might mention that the second duke was born only a few months before his father's murder, obviously Francis was still in the womb at the time of his father's death.

One minor point, in the sentence;

>>There had been obvious service to the crown that had warranted this reward, or any other reason for this promotion

I suspect you have left out a no ... There had been no obvious service...

as for;

George Villiers Duke of Buckingham died aged just 33, just 5 days short of his 36th birthday.

If he died 5 days before his 33rd birthday he died at age 32 (I don't thin you are allowed to count ahead after you are six, or so)

However I would just scrap the entire line as you express much better only two paragraphs later.

smiley - cheers

F smiley - dolphin S


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 14

bobstafford

Thanks for the comments FS is that better smiley - alesmiley - cheers


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 15

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

smiley - oksmiley - biggrin

F smiley - dolphin S


A87794419 - George Villiers The Duke of Buckingham

Post 16

bobstafford

Glad you enjoyed it lots of people do not realise the Three Musketeers is based on fact and Buckingham very was a real personsmiley - smiley


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 17

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

Looking forward to seeing the Duke on the FPsmiley - applause

F smiley - dolphin S


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

bobstafford

Thanks FS smiley - cheers


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

Congratulations!smiley - bubbly


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