This is the Message Centre for Jabberwock

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Post 2181

Reality Manipulator

People are panicking that the dark Cabal love being in the dark about the best types of dark chocolate to eat and that they don't have a fear of the dark.

The dark Cabal have been warned never to darken their neighbours doorstep again, especially after dark.

The New World Order members are full of Star Trek fans who want an one world government and currency which scares a lot of people as they have told that this bad due to that it will be probably run by reptiles such as crocodiles, dragons, chameleons, frogs, toads, snakes, alligators, turtles, snails and other types of cold blood creatures.


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Post 2182

Reality Manipulator

The paranoia continues now they are suspicious about the writers of Marvel comic books, and the authors of the Harry Potter books and Middle Earth books as they think that what they are writing about is real and they are writing in code about secret communities of mutants, Istari, Elves, Dwarfs, Ents, Hobbits and Sorcerers.

Now they think that are working with the various nonexistent organisations such as the Dark Cabal, Illuminati, The New World Order by being very nostalgic, very fond of home cooking, gardening, singing, writing, drinking beer, wine or mead, dancing and going on many adventures.



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Post 2183

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Sawyer had been going to the forest for as long as he could remember, at first to help his father bring back logs for his work as a carpenter, and later as a carpenter himself.

This was the first time he had gone beyond the "safe" part of the forest, however. As he stood on the top of the cliff that marked the boundary, he gazed in awe at trees with immense, boxy trunks that seemed to be the dwellings of the people who lived there.

He started down the slope to see these marvels at closer range, but the branch of a massive oak slapped him in the face and a deep, angry voice cried, "Leave your tools here, carpenter, or die."

Dropping his tolls in alarm, Sawyer meekly crept to the nearest house, where the lord of the house explained that this forest contained sentient trees that lived in peace with humans, consenting to grow their trunks into houses without the need for any nails, windows, painting, or use of carpentry tools.


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Post 2184

Reality Manipulator

Now there is a new obsession that the earth is hollow and that the moon is made out of blue cheese.

Now a whole village have decided to built their own spaceship smiley - tardis to take them to the moon so as to sample the cheese and other villagers want to see if there is a hidden world in the centre of the earth.


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Post 2185

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Ennis Maruni's life had changed so abruptly that he was no longer sure which was reality and which was a dream -- the towering waves and gale-force winds that sank his ship, or the distant volcano and nearer fruit trees that he could see from the secluded beach where he was currently sitting.

Three lovely young women approached him with a basket of fruit and offered him some. More young women arrived to lead him to some sort of communal hall, where a woman in a silk robe and glittering tiara welcomed him to the Isle of the Virgins.

The only thing that marred Ennis's happiness was the rumbling of the volcano and thick clouds of ash that were spewing from its caldera. When he asked about the volcano's propensity for demanding virgin sacrifices, the women in the tiara assured him that this was a polite volcano which never demanded virgins, only the occasional stranded sailor.


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Post 2186

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


There was a gate in the East wall of the Pope's study, a wall which (so legend had it) opened whenever the Pope wished to talk to God. Augustine Nicholas IV, the newly-elected Pontiff, hoped to see the gate open when he entered the papal study for the first time, and he was not disappointed, for the gate opened to reveal an angel who stood in front of a dark passageway.

The Pope opened his arms wide as if to embrace the angel, but the angel shrank back, saying "I know you've just taken over as Holy Father, but now is not a good time to meet the Almighty, not that there's ever a particularly *good* time -- as the Lord's gatekeeper,
I owe you that much warning." A puzzled look spread over the Pope's face, so the gatekeeper continued: "Look, it is well known in Heaven that you are one of the nicest men on the face of the Earth, but the Almighty has moods that you would not want to see Him in. In fact, your duty as the leader of the world's largest religious denomination is different than you imagine it to be: more like protecting your flock from a God who has time and time again wanted to incinerate all humans than like the loving deity that you think all Christians want
to be close to."

Behind the gatekeeper angel, the Pope could see Jewish, Islamic, Hindu and Buddhist leaders huddled in a panic over some heavenly initiative that needed to be headed off. "Come in and help us thwart
the Almighty's latest devastating intentions," the others exclaimed as Pope Augustine Nicholas IV stepped across the entrance and became the newest member of a club that he had not previously realized even existed.


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Post 2187

Reality Manipulator

"Mam, do you know what has happened to the apartment flat because there are now so many extra rooms and they seem to be multiplying everytime I enter into a new room?"

"Well Katrine, I think you are going to have ask your dad but he is on board the starship Enterprise D working on the warp drive engine with the help of grandad Doctor Who".

"I think I will wait unless, it gets out of hand and then I will go and ask my husband Loki to solve our dilemma only if it becomes a danger to our safety."


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Post 2188

Reality Manipulator

In the mean time a fully stocked supermarket along with staff appeared as well as the Hogwarts school library, Hogwarts hospital wing, a community centre, along with a theatre and a cinema appeared in the other rooms.

This was not the only surprise that my family and I discovers but we have found doorway to another world.

In this place there lives the female and male ents along with the Elves, Dwarfs, Hobbits and Beornings who are all powerful users of magic.

They will be joined up with the magical population of Harry Potter and the mutant community created in the Marvel universe and these groups will make up 85% of the world's population.


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Post 2189

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Caramellized was the latest pop group that had taken the country by storm. Most people thought that the name was a reference to the vocal blend, a rich, mellifluous sound in which four singers sounded like one voice.

"Your sound is the eighth wonder of the world," the pretty TV interviewer gushed as the group's singers sat through their first interview. "At what point did you come up with your gloriously evocative name?"

"Oh, our group's name does not refer to the sound," said group leader Cara, shifting uneasily in her seat.

"Really? Why else did you choose it, then?" the interviewer said, a puzzled look framing her perfectly-plucked eyebrows and makeup-covered face.

"Okay, here goes. I'm Cara, he is Mel, she is Liz, and he's Ed. CaraMelLizEd."



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Post 2190

Reality Manipulator

I have been having continuous strange flashbacks to the time when I was living in Ashington as a young child that involved being transported from a space ship to the back yard in Newbiggin Road in Ashington.

I went to an alien DNA activator specialist who put me in a trance to find out what planet I came from and then I would sit in a throne like chair where I was connected with various wires to several computers that were transmitting strange beep like noises in which the only light in the room where from a line of lite giant candles.

Then I heard a smiley - tardis whirring sound which filled my body with a shimmering light as I felt a tingling sensation that started from head and gradually went down to my feet.

There were also medical monitors which detected any physiological changes to my body and any other changes such as new superpowers.

I was given a report which stated that I had an extra heart along with increased neural activity which indicated psychic and psionic powers with an increased energy blood pulsating through my veins and through my nervous system.


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Post 2191

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

[With two hearts, did you have high blood pressure?] smiley - winkeye


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Post 2192

Reality Manipulator

"I will put you in a trance like state, which will balance your blood pressure and nervous system, which will last for an half hour and the remaining half I will guide in a guided meditation to find out your planetary origin.", said the specialist.

I relaxed my mind and body as I went in a dream like state where I saw a planet enveloped in a bright green haze and when I look further I find it has a bright purple sky with golden scattered clouds; there were giant futuristic buildings that reached into the clouds and a large range of mountains and forest that seemed to go on for miles.

It was not long before I saw people but they were not anyone I recognised. They were dressed long elaborate robes and were been driving in floating vehicles and on the ground it was free from all traffic where people.

It seemed like a wonderful place where there were fountains and greenery through out the city with farms and gardens on top of buildings; as well woodland nature parks.

This is city must be very unique for most people lived only a walking short walking distance from where they walked.


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Post 2193

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

[Farms and gardens on the roofs of buildings are good! smiley - smiley]

"Welcome to the Christmas Shop at Garlic Farms*. How many I help you?"

"Hi. My father loved the Garlic Wine I gave him last year, but I
don't see it listed on your website this time."

"Sorry, but that product was expensive to make, and demand was
disappointing. You can still get our garlic coffee, though. Does your
father drink much coffee?"

"Um, why was the demand disappointing?"

"We think the demographic that would have appreciated a garlicky experience with their evening wine may have been unwelcome party guests."

"My father might like the coffee, but he works the night shift. Worse, all his co-workers are vampires."

"We also have garlic cologne, garlic chocolates, and a garlic sports
drink. Our holiday garlic products include garlic eggnog and smiley - xmaspud. if your father is adventuresome, he might go for a motorcycle made of steel-coated garlic cloves."

"Now you're talking. Send me the garlic cologne and the motorcycle.
They keep stealing his bike as it is!
for one of those!"
---------------------------------------------------------------

*Not to be confused with Garelick Farms, a real company which, as far as I am aware,
does not put garlic in the milk it sells.


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Post 2194

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I have it on good authority that the elf race has spent the last five or six generations changing their genome so that they can be indistinguishable from humans. Yes, they are that far ahead of humans in technology, otherwise they would not have been so useful to Santa. They had computers at least 100 years before humans did, but they soft-pedal that fact nowadays in order to assimilate.

Once in a while, an elf's ears will revert to the old formation, but there are numerous capable elf plastic surgeons who, free of charge, reshape the ears to conform to human shapes.

Many young elves these days refuse to believe it when some grandparent spills the secret of their ancestry.


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Post 2195

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

This is the website for Traumia, the country where no one has ever
gone broke betting on misfortune.

Today's date: December 30, 2014

6,133 things have gone badly so far today. This is either one of the best days we've ever had, or the software has broken again, preventing our IT people from entering the latest snafus. The day is not over yet, so we are betting on the latter. In fact, we are afraid to trust the former, since we would have to celebrate an exceptionally good day with our local champagne, which is almost nonexistent this year due to problems with our vineyards.

Form of government: as of 10:00 A.M. we were a monarchy again, today being a Tuesday. It takes about 14 hours for our royal family to render itself incapable of governing, so our President and legislature are banking on democracy as tomorrow's form of government.

Most recent governmental gaffes: The new King's mistresses are lining up in front of the palace to tell the news media about his infidelities. We do not yet know who will drop the ball first: some of the mistresses have been inarticulate in the extreme in the past, and at least four of the reporters are off their anti-psychotic
meds today. Even if all concerned manage to rise to the occasion, the evening editions of our newspaper may be hampered by antiquated equipment. Not that our population will necessarily read the papers even if they do manage to get printed and sent out. The country's TV station has a new test pattern, and viewers may prefer to look at it
instead.


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Post 2196

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Jesscia flirted with death all evening.

"I like 'em lean, and you're as lean as they get," she said with
a wink and light slap at his bony forearm.

"Miss, I think you may have me mistaken for someone else," death
replied.

"But wouldn't you like to go with me for a while and see if there
are sparks?" she continued.

"I came here because I have a job to do," death said, growing uncomfortable.

"Oh? What do you do?" Jessica wondered. "Say, I bet you recruit top
executives, what they call a headhunter."

"That's part of it," death said, attempting a wry smile, "but a head
without the body wouldn't makle sense."

"I knew it! Well, wouldn't you like a bit of fun while you wait for
your top executive to come into view?"

"Oh, but I *am* having fun. It's just that thism place is very crowded,
and the only empty seat was next to you."

Just then the man at the next table began choking. Death rose quickly and
stayed with him until the paramedics arrived.

"Will I see you again?" Jessica called out to him.

"Yes," death said.

"Will be coming here?"

"No. I will see you in your bedroom."

Jessica's cheeks flushed and she was in seventh heaven for the rest of the evening.


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Post 2197

Reality Manipulator

25 Newbiggin Road, Ashington

I found myself back in our family home in Ashington that was totally empty and looked a lot bigger than I remembered it to be.

I went in the cupboard underneath the stairs which entrance was in the kitchen that led me through another door to a flight of stairs where there was a huge empty room; and at the bottom of this room was a lift where it had 142 buttons for each of the floors.

I decided to check the last floor which had it's own underground railway with entrances to shopping malls and a futuristic but empty city.


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Post 2198

Reality Manipulator

It seemed like I had travel to the future in an alternate reality and making sure that I did not go far from abandoned underground railway station in case I had to make a quick escape.

Above me to my astonishment I saw floating vehicles, zooming though the air and tubes connecting buildings with trains going at high speed; one of them noticed me and to my surprise I was able to disappear from their sight and back to the underground station lift back to 25 Newbiggin Road.

It was scary and the only one thing that was left me to do was to block the entrance to the lift from the underground railway which I did with the power of my mind and all the subsequent 100 underground floors disappeared, leaving me with the remaining 42 floors.


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Post 2199

Reality Manipulator

Happily I found that the remaining floors where filled with extra rooms for sleeping, dining, studying, cooking, meetings, hobbies, entertainment, bathing, relaxing, star gazing and there was even a healing room.

Another added bonus was that in one of the rooms there was a porthole to a perfect world a cross between the world of Harry Potter and the Shires of J R R Tolkien's Middle Earth where I was not afraid to interact with the hobbits of Hobbiton.

I discovered that I was no longer an adult but a child of 2 1/2 years old but taller than I was by a 18 inches back in 1966 in the home of my grandparents and uncle.

smiley - offtopic(Next story will be how the world of Harry Potter/Middle Earth changes the reality of the 60's to a better world and the meeting with J R R Tolkien's meeting with Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins)smiley - offtopic


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Post 2200

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"No eggs today, I'm afraid," Doctor Polansky said.

"No eggs from 100 chickens? That's the fifth straight day," Margo said with a raised eyebrow.

"This may be all the proof we need that breeding chickens with
high IQs is a bad idea. They reacted to news reports of some
massacre in Paris. They're huddled in the corner of their coop
now."

"Yesterday they overreacted to a report on global warming, and the
day before that it was a huge demonstration against the fascists who run Tyranistan," Margo said drily.

"Chickens have much to be nervous about," Doctor Polansky said with a sigh. "Every large carnivore on the planet will happily eat a chicken if the chance arises. When they're jittery, laying eggs is not a priority for them."

"Speaking of carnivores, we need to go over our food budget for next
month," Margo said. "We need lunches for three lab assistants, two janitors, and the two of us. We have six more experiments in the pipeline, so the failure of our chicken experiment will not force us to close down."

"Fine. We won't have to buy any meat, since we have so many chickens on hand..."


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