h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*runs cleaner through the coffee machine and sweeps up the broken house rules*

We need more doughnuts. The ones in this box are all furry and green.

*brings fresh doughnuts*

*puts coffee on*

*walks in*

Mmmh... Has anyone seen the small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri ? They were supposed to arrrive yesterday, but I haven't heard from them.

...

Their spaceship was shaped like a doughnut box.

Oh.

I was just wondering what those noises are that are coming from the dumpster.

I could have sworn the box said Krispy Kreme... *heads out the back door*

*comes in and hangs a few Post pictures to brighten up the place*

*A creature to make the Alpha Centaurans feel at home: A87865221

*A creature to make the humans go 'Aww!': A87865465

*A couple of strange creatures to add dignitas, always difficult with h2g2: A87865753

*lies down on the sofa and promptly falls asleep*

*peeks in round the edge of the door*

*flops down in usual mannner*
Hey. Any around?

Reaches for

Milla, whatever you do, don't eat the Alpha Centaurans. They might start to think they're not welcome !



Aaaww ! Kitty !

Sorry, wrong room, just off to feed the leopard...

*returns with box, both box and Lil much the worse for wear after a sojourn in the dumpster*

Here they are. Actually, are you sure this is them? Or should I say, are you sure this is they?

*opens an eye*

Ask them something only Alpha Centaurans would know. Then you'll be sure they aren't just vampire doughnuts. There has been a full moon.

*(Don't believe in vampire doughnuts? If there can be vampire watermelons, there can be vampire doughnuts. See the Guide A26353677 for guidance:

'Even pumpkins and watermelons can be affected, if they are touched by the light of the full moon or kept after Christmas. However, they do not have teeth and are thus more a nuisance than a danger, being restricted to rolling around the house, growling at its inhabitants. They can be got rid of by boiling in holy water and then scrubbing with a broom, which must subsequently be burned.'*

*slowly gets up, and gets out of the room*

~interesting smells come from the nearby kitchen ~

*returns with a tray of fresh *
Have one. They are baked. Which is odd, I know, but there you go.

*munch*

Hot chocolate with your doughnut, anyone ?

*puzzled by the concept of an Alpha Centauran vampire* I should ask something only they would know??

*reaches for a baked doughnut and chews distractedly*

Sure. But of course, you have to know the answer, too.

*politely ignores the fact that the only food around is NOT gluten free*

And I think we should be getting our doughnuts from Jau'emne. Her Schrödinger doughnuts are gluten-free. At least while the box is closed...

We should alert Amy and ask her to bring some mufflewhumps for the variously intolerant.
Or perhaps we could borrow Matina for a little while?

Any possibility of Moebius doughnuts? I understand all the calories are reabsorbed...

*goes to experiment*
~time passes~
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
There are many, but they're rather tiny. Enjoy! And they only contain what you can digest safely! How's that!

Yum! Who knew topology could be so tasty?