h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I made the mistake of leaving the bathroom door open while I took a shower. (It's hot and humid.) This leads to territorial battles between factions who lay claim to this room in the house, and the person who happens to be in it. (Soaking wet and helpless.)

Snarl. Bark. Growl. Yowl. Hiss. (And that was just Elektra. )

Later, I hear this monologue:

'Lola, why are you fighting with Buzzardina? She's not the one who steals your food. That's Clancy. This feud must stop!

'Now, you just sit up on this bed until you figure out what you did wrong.'



(Doglet is tiny, and finds the bed a challenge. But self-reflection is not in her nature.)

Elektra, further:

'Being a terrier is no excuse for this kind of behaviour. Now, don't suck up. You know what you did.'

Elektra announced, 'Lola is getting a Time Out.'

We have a very tiny bathroom, but the tiles are cool and the space between the basin and the bath tub is just wide enough for a large dog. Of course he doesn't get up voluntarily if someone wants to enter the room...

I am visualising this...

We have no dogs, but we have two very mild-mannered guinea pigs and a vicious tortoise. The tortoise, who is vegetarian, thinks it is her mission in life to repel all furry creatures from her territory, so she stomps around biting any guinea pigs she can catch and also my daughter Iz's socks.

Can't they get away? I mean, guinea pigs are pretty fast runners...I don't know about the socks, though...

But maybe we can get the tortoise and the dog into anger management class...

Could we rent the tortoise to rid us of sock puppets?

My dog Mia has decided that all ducks belong in the water. So every time we walk around the pond she has to chase any foolish enough to be on the bank. Most of them just wander into the water when they see her coming.

A public service!

The guinea pigs can easily outrun the tortoise but they forget about her as soon as they can't see her anymore and she creeps up on them. The tortoise is far more intelligent than the piggies.

Same-species pet politics can be interesting, too. We've had Penny, a boxer, for about 4 and a half years. We've had Abby, a chihuahua, since just before last Halloween. Both adopted from people who were moving where they could not take dogs--Abby is older, and has suffered abuse from children in her past--poor girl's hips are wonky. As I've read is common with chihuahuas, Abby has quickly determined that Tom and I are hers, and Penny is to be tolerated only if she has been on a particular piece of furniture first. Penny, who is quite playful, tends to misinterpret Abby's growls as play growls, and thinks the bared teeth are meant in play, as well. So quite often, we'll have a six-pound snarling, snapping furball on an adult lap, facing off against a 45-pound puppy-barking, pawing, tail-in-air dog (who has no body parts the little one can even get her mouth around, unless Penny aims an ill-timed lick). We quite often tell Abby that she's lucky the animosity doesn't go the other way!

Feline/Human politics, the habit of many cats of following humans in position to trip them.

They don't often succeed in killing people that way, but they never stop trying.

From the dawn of time, primitive humsn body language.

If a horse or bear rears up on its hind legs, throws its fore legs into the air and screams at the top of its lungs, its obvious what the animal intends.

If an erect bipedal hominin does the same, what are the other wild animals to think?

many years ago, because me and my dad err! stood at the toilet some times then our golden Labrador thought ! I'm a male and he stood there (and cocked his leg up, the thought was there)but he couldn't aim to please

Update: my husband did 'things' in the bathroom today (he installed a new lamp). The dog was not amused. He is killing us with looks.

I wonder what he will say when we remove the old bathtub in a few weeks...

Sacrilege. And if you get a large box from the delivery service, and leave it in the room, they run around it and bark.

Now the latter I can understand

Schrödinger's might be inside

Yes, but is it dead or alive

F S

It's probably mad at you for shutting it in there. After all, it just climbed in because that's what cats do...

if the has got a cell/mobile phone ? you can phone it and find out