h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't disturb anyone working on a puzzle or you may get some cross words.

She wanted to improve her body language, but couldn't put her finger on it.

Tired well worn expressions need to be phrased out of the language.

Sometimes the bar isn't very high. Take breathing, for instance. You can inspire just by breathing in.

... we're all waiting for the other part of that...

...you must mean the expiration?

yep,

Have a coconut

...remember Mardi Gras rules have it coconut 'throws' must be handed, not thrown.

While hiking through a forest George Dubya Bush was caught off guard by a heavily armed foreigner.
- What are you doing, asked Dubya
- I ambush
- So am I, so what?

I saw an ambush, so I hid behind a bacon tree

I eggspect that you sat down and had breakfast.

Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.

If you breathe heavily on the map, it will reveal topography,' he said, with a sigh of relief.

The man was having trouble understanding darts, so his friend explained some of the finer points.

People who like yogurt are well cultured.

hey met in cooking class. It was boil meets grill.

his brain was all soggy as he was storming ahead

Q: - What did the veggies say at the garden party?
A: - Lettuce turnip the beet!

It was a turnip for the books when at a Hogmanay party some of the guests were hogging the hog roast as well as the haggis with neeps and tatties. There was a Swede dressed in Suede clothes who as a parson only ate the parson nose (chicken, turkey, duck, goose etc) when served alongside parsnips.

Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.