h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They say there's a first time for everything. And I think this is the first time in my working life when someone two old women have called the police for me.

Well, more accurately, they called the police for *themselves*, to rescue them.

After I accidentally locked them up in a military compound and went home.

Argh...I'm going to get the mother of all ball-chewings for this one tomorrow, I guess. But you've got to laugh...out of embarrassment if nothing else.

I, for one, want more details on this heinous crime.

Unless you're already lawyered up...

Well, it's no longer a manned military post. It's one people can visit, and have a peek at and a look around, but it's still pretty well fortified when it's all locked up.

And...well, I hadn't seen anyone all day come in. And it was raining so hard that it was bouncing eight inches off the ground. So the last thing I thought of looking for before locking up was two octogenarians standing on top of an uncovered observation post in the pelting rain...

And it was the fault of the phenomenon we call Age, as much as my fault, because if it was me I probably would have found a way to scale or break out, but two wee old women couldn't...that's hardly something I can be blamed for!

So it was age's fault, and the heavy rain's fault, and the old women's fault for sneaking in like cat burglars unbeknownst, but it wasn't my fault.

I see.

Let us know how far you get with THAT excuse...

they should have used one of the radios, those things are indestructible, I bet they still work. (and how about that for a cross-platform conversation!)

Oh, they did all work I found out later! A guy came by who knew all about them and I was playing with them all. Amazing stuff. From like 1914 - 2010 They had old eastern bloc ones, too.

Actually maybe if I wasn't so absorbed in pissing about with all that hardware it mightn't have happened...

did it smell like oily rags and stuff? (that's what I associate with that equipment, being as I usually was, located in the back of a truck with it)

I really must come over and pay it a visit!

Joking apart, you should - and tell me if you're coming. I'll show you around. And I promise not to incarcerate you, since we're friends.

Ooh goody - Belfast meet. In a prison!

well, not a prison really.

(Although Belfast's jail is now a popular tourist attraction and a venue for plays and gigs, so we could have a prison meet if your heart is set on it, yeah!)

Oh, you should do that - it will make such good copy for .

We can write songs about it...

sounds good but I'm tied up until summer....

It's not a place I like hanging about, anyway. Still has bad vibes!

Well, it was a funny old week. Maybe it was a karma payback for locking up grannies, but I ended up with a ludicrous walk home - 6 or 7 miles. I was getting a lift from someone with hardly any English, and the more I tried to clarify, the further off-track we ended up. Eventually I pretended we arrived and just got out and walked it.

why do I have to deal with a school trip first thing on a Monday morning?

Maybe I'll just lock them up, too.

Maybe if it rains they'll all run away.

Maybe if it doesn't rain I can throw buckets of water over them and make them all run away...

Oh dear, you are having a time of it! Mercury must be in retrograde or summat

Och, it's all good fun. Anything awkward, I'm letting the teacher deal with.

I'm not sure I want to know where Elliot had his finger, but he's just been told to pull it out if there.

...It's a tough contest, but I think today's prize has to go to the kid who asked "Mister! How many Vikings did it take to work the cannon guns?"