h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I never thought I'd see the day...

I just saw two Mormon missionaries making their way down the street when I was in my way home. I happened to glance out the window just now, and saw them walking past from one neighbour to the next, quite deliberately skipping my house on the way.

I think the word must be getting around at last.

It's lovely when people consider my soul a complete write-off and leave me in peace!

Reminds me of when I opened my door to Jehovah's Witnesses not long after I had lost my partner - I could feel the look in my eyes of utter blissful despair in response to whatever it was they said I don't know exactly what they thought about that, but they shut the door in their own faces...

You also don't get many JWs or Mormons visit when the husband of the house tries to convert them to charismatic Christianity

Oh, you're blacklisted too then?

Truth be told, I used to relish a good old argument with them. Nowadays though, I'd usually just prefer them to pester someone else. Must be getting old.

would you like me to come round to your ps and offer some form of religious mantra? it seems like your missing it

I despair when i see the missionaries coming and I am a Mormon... at least the rest of you can tell them your not interested

I've almost converted a few to nighthooverism.... or the local asylum... perhaps even both
Odd really... how within some particular 'takes' on 'versions' of Christanity, they have the desire to convert, and suchlike.... Having just spent the last ocuple days, surrounded by priests, and wondering in and out of various Church's, cathedrils, monistry cloisters etc, one can get a very differnt view, and see only those common areas a heeven like myself can have, in common wtih people, who otterwise seem to be entirely at odds with many of my own beliefs, etc... Only last night was talking to a priest, about the Pride events, in the city we were in, and he was showing William and I, photos, of the funeral director he knows; both those of him, as a 'him', in full funneral-director 'mode', and he as a 'she', which I guess is very much a way of dressing he doesn't do during his day job Mind... it did seem a bit odd, having quite so many priests in the pub maybe I shoudl start door-to-door converting of poeple to nighthooverism....

Anthea, I loved your response. It had never before entered my head that Mormon missionaries are even worse for Mormons than they are for the rest of us.

2legs, that sounds like time well spent, to be honest.

There's a lot of common ground (or, at least, a lot more than is often assumed). I have a lot more in common ethically, politically, and morally with a lot of very religious people than with many atheists, regardless of what my views are on things spiritual.

Oh... definately; I had quite a long chat, with this priest/vicar, now retired baiscally out of doing the ' 'Church stuff', who was writing a book, on politics and religion, but not so much on 'religion' itself, rahter on paceafist things... and stuff.. that was kinda interesting.... Mind, he was the mad one, with the cross-dressing/transvestite funneral director friend

as a normal member of the public you can tell missionaries to go away

as a member of the church your expected to invite them to dinner and basically entertain a pair of bored 19 year olds while simultaneously quoting scripture so they dont get frightened like lost kittens and run away... its hard work especially in a place like Blackpool... especially if they come from Utah and Blackpool is there first stop outside of saltlake

a cross dressing/transvestite funeral director friend sounds great... I wonder where i could acquire one... preferably a bit of an extrovert... although I imagine in blackpool you could do both at once....

Exactly our thoughts, on the funeral director I'm not sure if its me, or if its William.... but we do always seem to 'attract' a rahter ... excentric mix of people in our vacinity.... like the 75 year old Drummer, in 28 inch leather trousers, who we bumped into, a while back now, whilst looking round an old deraclict Church... he... the leahter clad e drummer... was carrying a stash of French porn... in a carrier bag... which he'd just been to get valued as mad as a bucket of eels... jolly good chap though... Hmmm.... or like the shoe man.... many years ago... who my FAther and I ran into.... bonkers... delighfully so I think I'm all done with boring and mundane now.... excentric is definatly the way to go... well.... if nothing else, apparently William and my wearing hats, is, seemingly, in itself, offten sufficient to attract comment and tehnce onto conversations with the most delifhtully non-mundane people hmm... maybe it is me, who seems to act as a magnet to the nutters and general non-conformance of society... like the time in London.... at a HooToo meet... where Roymundo and I, outside the pub the meet was in, got chatting to a bloke who knew Shakespear and Dickens... seriously... and he didn't seem patently off his head on anything either as barmy as the spoon one uses to stir ones toenailclippings... jolly good cad though I shoudl write a book one day... hmm... or maybe not

Yes, there are a couple of problems I have with them. Firstly, the arrogance - although that's common in their age group. Secondly, insufficient understanding or knowledge of the countries - or even states or regions - they come to. Thirdly, a certain blonde, shaven, worrying uniformity. Finally, the hunting in pairs.

Yes, Anthea. Please, frighten them like "lost kittens" and make them run away to Utah. Do it for the rest of us.

Thanks Amy, you're welcome here every time, even though the charismatic thingy isn't my thing. And Anthea, thank you and I'm glad you didn't feel hurt.

they have to hunt in pairs ones almost always a newbie and ones been at it a while and it's meant to offer some sort of protection against people who wouldnt wish them well or something....


I'm not hurt by people not liking missionaries or ranting people who dont know that there is a time and place for religion because i feel like that too. I'd make a rubbish missionary I don't begrudge anyone there own view... plus if i wanted to knock on that many doors and get sent away I'd go into politics

William and I have a friend, who was.... drawn into Mormonism about a year or so ago, after he lost his job... I think they provided a nice 'friend network' for him, and indeed offered help with job hunting and suchlike too (the friend really doesn't have particularly good writen English etc, or, indeed computer skills and suchlike...) He has gotten quite into it, or so it seems, until, really one enquires of him, about the theology and premise/stuff behind the Mormonism, and then, it appears he really doesn't know anything, either that, or they have very little actual err..... 'content' behind their err... 'belief system'... and, apparently, he's now an 'elder' (think thats the term they use)

Just hope the next time I get a knock at the door, from them, or some simularrate that he's got far more knowledge of their particular theology 'flavour' than they have... q which is a nice way to make them do the running away But then again, I guess normally they're not stopping or talking to someone like William, whos got a doctorate in theology from Oxford/Cambridge

"elder" is just the term they use for any adult male who is a member and has the priesthood

I can't say I believe in every part of it I don't go to church and haven't done for some years but i still count myself as a member and adhear to the rules (no alcohol/tea/coffee/smoking etc) but some people are frankly nuts for religion... (not limited to mormonism)

"(no alcohol/tea/coffee/smoking etc)"
That's so* descriminatory.... that kinda thing.... rules me out of a lot of religions especially the smoking and caffine addiction bits some of them... err... even get a little intrusive... about... certain things consenting adults might do... which I guess also rules me out of a lot of them Mind, I guess not having any religious faith, or belief kinda also might be a bit of a barrier

it can be rather restrictive and as i said there are things I dont follow

I dont see why lack of faith should be a barrier to any religion 2legs,

you'd make the best pope

OOOO! silly hat and a dress; its my perfect job..... see.... I've been so* let down by my school careers advisor, all these years

dont forget the red shoes!

Ì might have an issue with the red shoes... sure... red shoes are good... but... for me.... they'd have to be purple