Writing Right with Dmitri: Rename That Tune

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Writing Right with Dmitri: Rename That Tune

Editor at work.

I have to laugh at a lot of our conversations on h2g2. About once or twice a week, somebody complains to somebody else, 'Ack. Now I've got that song stuck in my head.' This is usually because the convo writer has mentioned a catchphrase that naturally connects to the earworm in question. It's a cause for chuckles.

That sort of torture is rather like the command, 'Don't think about a frog.' There's a simple solution to that one. Just think about something else, and the frog usually goes away. Think about another catchy tune, and the earworm goes away. Better yet…make up your own.

Earlier this week, I was delighted to discover an entry written by Bluebottle on Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters, or more precisely, the television series version. We got into a brief discussion in PR about 'The Hedgehog Song'. Now, the Hedgehog Song started out as an apocryphal entity. That is, Terry Pratchett made up the title, said it was a naughty song Nanny Ogg liked to sing while drunk, and left it at that. Okay, he added that it went along with 'A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End'. Nice little throwaway jokes like that were a specialty of Sir Terry's.

Of course, Pratchett's second book on the witches was dedicated to all those people who sent him their versions of the Hedgehog Song. His comment was, 'Dearie, dearie me…' Not surprising. Here's my favourite. It's by an Australian folksinger, it starts at 7:19 on that video clip, and fair warning, it's rather naughty indeed. What's that you say? Of course the same singer has a version of the Wizard song. Be my guests, you people. We know what gutter your minds are in.

Now, I'm not suggesting you write naughty songs. Really, no, I'm not. Unless you want to, of course. But I would like to make a suggestion for when you get tired, or bored, or just need a break from what you're working on at the computer.

Why not write a song? I mean, instead of playing another round of Angry Birds? True, if you smash those helmeted green pigs, you feel satisfaction. But if you write a little ditty, you not only feel satisfaction, but you can share it, and you have something to sing to get rid of the next earworm Bluebottle, Paulh, or KB try to stick you with.

It's also exercise, of a sort. Where Angry Birds exercises your hand/eye coordination and tests your tolerance for animation, writing a song tests your vocabulary skills and quick-wittedness. You don't need to write original tunes: either steal a folk tune, or write a parody. Nothing illegal about either activity, and your friends might actually appreciate.

It will give them something to hum while playing Angry Birds.

If you use a catchy enough tune…well, you, too, can become an online irritant. We'll just quote your lines and let 'em groan.

So write. Share. It's the writer's equivalent of doodling. Or refrigerator art.

If it will get past the filther, post it here. If not, try your blogspace, and give us a link.

And who knows? If you pick the right subject, you might find thousands of footie fans singing your song. Oops, now I've done it. You'll have to write a song now, just to get that one out of your head.

Now go and write, and don't bother me. I've got to find a rhyme for 'Pittsburgh' before I can get back to my educational outline…

Writing Right with Dmitri Archive

Dmitri Gheorgheni

06.07.15 Front Page

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