h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A worryingly thin, sober and middle-aged Mu Beta takes the stage for this year's traditional inaugurations. Sipping daintily from a mug of green tea, he produces an immaculately rolled parchment and correctly announces the joint winners of the 2013 competition: atinythorn, C Hawke and Spiller. The audience exchange sidelong glances and wonder if they've somehow slipped into a parallel dimension.

As B smartly beribbons his scroll and exits without mishap, leering or - worse yet - song, there is a smattering of unrest among the gathered throngs. They've come for entertainment, dammit, and this has all the teeth-on-edge addictiveness of the Welsh TV Drama Awards. Disillusioned, they troop out to the bar and break open a case of middling-to-indifferent Lebanese Malbec. Mu Beta wanders in, clad in green corduroy and a woolly jumper and orders a pint of Old Bishop's Nadgers.

"So folks - what did you think to this year's pre-show?"

Heads turn in unified bemusement. As one, the crowd mutter "Er....PRE-show?"

"But of course. I've realised I'm far too predictable to do silly things EVERY year. I've lined up a real treat for Act II. It's OK - you can take your drinks back in."

And he ushers everyone back into the auditorium. Checking the corner-tables and loos are free from loiterers, he dramatically closes the grandiose double doors. And bars them. And double-padlocks them.

As Mu Beta climbs into the cockpit of the 20-tonne crane which has been hired especially for this evening, a piece of paper drifts delicately from his pocket, fluttering end over end until coming to a soggy end in a puddle of last year's chaos. It would appear the venue have been extra-ordinarily quiet about advertising the main event of tonight's entertainment, to the extent where this is the only piece of promotional material.

2014 Spectacular!
FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY!!!
The Deathlist Presents
Galaxy Babe In...
A TRIBUTE TO MILEY CYRUS
(Twerking coach: Mu Beta)

Wordlessly, the bearded wonder presses a few buttons, tugs hard at a lever, and then opens the curtains and lowers the wrecking ball into place, as the sounds of muffled shrieking and panic begin to emanate from the theatre...

So. Er. Over to you, GB.

I see I have 10 unique picks this year. Shall have to see how that works out.

Is GB on youtube yet?

*slows to a graceful meander*

*winks at the conductor*

*climbs on the wrecking ball*

*gazes into the audience*

*waves*

Is there anyone out there who'd like to give me a little push?

I asked Spiller and he said no, too scared that Sinead O'Conner will come over and slap him,

sorry I'm just scared of Mu operating the controls

swl be a gent, she changed your list for you

No she didn't But I'll give her a shove anyway.

...

...

...

...



...

...

...

...

My, what heavy balls Mu has!

While you are up swl it looks like Mu needs help pulling his lever

Oh my! I'm getting quite hot and giddy! Does anyone mind if I stand up on this big ball for a bit of air?

*stands up anyway, clinging on for dear life*

Twerk means something different in Yorkshire. It's the only place where you can join T'werking Men's clubs.

*giggles at Icy*

I actually thought twerking meant something different as well, but I couldn't possibly repeat it here.

In the words of Jim Trott, No no no no no twerking in the upper field

I'm missing from Roger Moore on the main listing.

Is a deathlist a list of people who are likely to die in the next year?

If so, why does it need an official thread?

Is Miley Cyrus's demise being predicted? or just the sanity of her fans?

Re: Mu B's OP

May the h2g2 New Year continue in this same spirit!

~jwf~

Bit quiet on the expiration front, I expected at least 6 of swl's centurions to have checked out already

Cold snap, that's what we need

Interesting that three of us have independantly chosen different members of Motley Crue. Tour bus crash anyone?

an old staple may go first: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-25574743

[When I was told that he had died, I said,"How can they tell?" ]

This might well be the official thread, but no one has put in the links!

Homepage A87818430
Scoreboard A87818449