A Conversation for Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - The Battle of Naseby

Peer Review: A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 1

bobstafford

Entry: The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby - A87848220
Author: bobstafford - U3151547

A trial table entry inspired by Bluebottles Disney entries.


Comments please


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 2

minorvogonpoet

My view about articles is similar to Dmitri's - see A87848509


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 3

Bluebottle

As you know, I like tables. Tables are a great way of presenting information in a standard way, and are especially helpful when comparing and contrasting. So, when you want to see how the forces were matched, this is very helpful.

However, you also need to have content outside tables too. In my Disney entries I have a few introductory paragraphs, and any lengthy text is kept as text outside the tables. GB's Caldwell Catalogue entry, currently in Peer Review, similarly has two chunky paragraphs before the table, as well as a concluding paragraph.

I think you really need to have opening and concluding paragraphs outside the table for ease of reading. So for the introduction, tell us why Naseby was important (remember that not everyone who reads h2g2 is English and/or will know anything at all about the Civil War.) So I'd include the Introduction section, and the important notes so we know from the start who is fighting, why, what they are fighting with and for, before the table.

Long sections, such as 'The Battle' and 'Result' will probably be read better as text with headers.

I'd also recommend including some links, with suggestions including:

A523450 The English Civil War
A622937 The Causes of the English Civil War
A12737487 A History of Black Powder Guns
A34788702 The Levellers - The Political Movement
A45871040 Oliver Cromwell: Lord Protector of the Commonwealth

If you include a link to the English Civil War articles, you don't need to go into too much detail to introduce your article, but you should assume that whoever is reading knows nothing and needs to be told enough to be able to understand.

smiley - lurkI look forward to seeing how this develops.smiley - smiley

<BB<


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 4

bobstafford

Thanks MVP that's the first time I have seen that, a good entry to read it would be included in every new members introduction pack

smiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 5

bobstafford

Thanks BB may I assume the table is OK

smiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 6

bobstafford

Good suggestionssmiley - cheers All done as suggested please commentsmiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 7

bobstafford

Any more commentssmiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 8

Rockhound

Hi Bob
my two euro-cents would be that actually your first paragraph doesn't really lead things in, instead maybe remove that and start with paragraph number two.

I'd also take the text of the sections from
smiley - biro Battlefield Character,
smiley - biro Tactical Advantage,
smiley - biroThe Battle
and smiley - biroThe Result out of the table format and put them into 'normal' paragraphs within the entry, after the table.

This is because I like the idea of you presenting *some* of the information as a table, but I don't think it suits the whole of this entry. I find it very hard to read, which is a shame as the content is good.

See what you think.


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 9

bobstafford

Righty Ho

I shall give that a go results soon smiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 10

bobstafford

Your Space b) sharp pointy steel weapons ??? smiley - smiley


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 11

Rockhound

smiley - offtopic yes, between me and my other half we have 4 'sharps' and 6 'training blunts' in terms of swords (various eras and countries of origin), a couple of staves/staffs, a spear and a Chinese pole-arm smiley - smiley

Back on topic (ish) smiley - winkeye I have my eye on a lovely reproduction of either a tower hanger or a mortuary sword from the English Civil war era. smiley - offtopic

we now return you to normal Peer Review service


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 12

bobstafford

Rockhound check out test A87851190 Naseby Amended as suggested for comment smiley - smiley


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 13

bobstafford

Entry updates as suggested smiley - ok


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 14

bobstafford

Any more comments smiley - smiley


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 15

bobstafford

Is the introduction enough BB or is more detail required smiley - cheers


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 16

Bluebottle

Looks good to mesmiley - ok

You don't mention Richard Cromwell, though he isn't particularly important (poor chap), and there is a bit of an error in the sentence:

'Hostilities finally ended with the death of Cromwell, it was only then Parliament decided to invite Charles I to return from exile in France. Charles became King of England on 25 May, 1660 after 18 years of hostility'

Either Parliament was inviting Charles I to return from the dead, or you missed out an I.smiley - winkeye

<BB<


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 17

bobstafford

He was the "head" of state smiley - run


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 18

bobstafford

All sorted smiley - smiley


A87848220 - The Basic Battle Facts -- The English Civil War - Naseby

Post 19

bobstafford

Any more comments pleasesmiley - smiley


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Post 20

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