A Conversation for UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Peer Review: A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master - A87843829
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

An update of:
Article: A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master
Author: U187177 Giford

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 2

Digital Led . . ignorance is bliss

smiley - tardis barging in (hands washed)
>>At age of 8 was taken to stare into

Who, where why? I think there is a name missing, as it is a newline there is no reference.
At _the_ age of 8 ... was taken to stare into
Doctor or Master? Master as I remember the story, as well as it is the Masters 'Childhood' however, not really clear.

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>>a TARDIS of his own, one that is not only more advanced

What more advances are there ?

Perhaps a 'see below' link pointing to
The paragraph (smiley - offtopic anchoring)

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>>The Clangers
Never heard of, perhaps link to < A246241 > 'Stop-motion Animation Programmes' There is a section about 'The Clangers'

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>>Red Nose Day
Is not really a world wide known event, perhaps a link or smiley - footprints

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>>Teletubbies
Reference to < A901027 > *'Teletubbies' - the TV Programme*

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>>and even appeared spin-off series Torchwood
and even appeared _in_ spin-off series Torchwood (?)

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smiley - footprints
>>alien menacesSuch as Axons, Daleks, Autons and Cybermen.

Thought we were supposed to use full sentences, in the smiley - footprints list this makes no sense at all.

I guess I have most of the episodes on tape or disc, do not feel in the mood to watch the entire series however. smiley - cheers


Adapted a little, was by smiley - cogs


A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 3

Bluebottle

Some good points made there – as soon as Captcha allows me to update the/any entry, I’ll make some changes.smiley - ok

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 4

Bluebottle

It only took 2 hours.

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 5

Gnomon - time to move on

Hi Bluebottle.

Here are a few comments:

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Content:

An insert scene shows a ring falling from the Master's hand and being picked up, showing he once again found a way to cheat his apparent demise.

-- might it be worth adding that this is a reference to the death of Ming the Merciless in the film Flash Gordon, in which a similar scene occurs?

As Lucy 'bore his biometrical signature imprint7' this can be traced on her lips. -- I'm not sure what you mean here. It seems to say that because Lucy bore the Master's biometrical signature, it was possible to trace something on her lips. Or do you mean that they used a biometrical trace on Lucy's lips to help reconstruct the Master? A bit of rewording needed either way.

What has the section about Michelle Gomez to do with the Master? Is she the Master in female form? If so, you should state this. At the moment it looks like you're talking about another Doctor Who opponent.

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Choice of words, Punctuation:

This had originally been intended to feature Anthony Ainley as the Master, although as he had died in 2004 a different actor was cast for its audio adaptation.

-- "although" is the wrong word here. I think "but" would be better.

"should be introduced a Moriarty to the Doctor's Sherlock Holmes" -- there should be some sort of punctuation between "introduced" and "a". A colon is probably best, although you'd get away with a comma.

the four beat heartbeat --> the four-beat heartbeat

Though this had apparently contradicted previous claims that the Master had run out of regenerations; the next episode

-- that should be a comma, not a semicolon. You can only use a semicolon if the sections on each side of it can stand on their own as separate sentences.


A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 6

SashaQ - happysad

I saw Terror of the Autons this morning, so thought I'd review this Entry - very interesting indeed smiley - ok

"the Master acquired a new TARDIS which he disguised as a frozen invader called Melkur"

What does that mean? The TARDIS was a block of ice?

The man who was pushed off the radio telescope didn't die, I don't think, as they checked his pulse and said something about taking him to hospital...

Did the part from the Master's TARDIS not fix the Doctor's?

smiley - tardis


A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 7

Bluebottle

Good points - I'll try updating the article with these points once I get home, if Captcha allows me.

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 8

Bluebottle

smiley - puffTook a while to beat Csmiley - bleepa...

Added a reference and link to classic film Flash Gordon.smiley - ok
I've also reworded the Lucy Saxon bit, clarified about Missy.
The Punctuation tweaks don't really need mentioning.

By the way, 'Terror of the Autons' isn't the only occasion on which the Master has pushed someone off a radio telescope. In fact, that's how Tom Baker's Doctor dies, before regenerating into Peter Davison.

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 9

Bluebottle

smiley - tardisNo point in this one being recommended now until after this series of Doctor Who, and I've made the amendments as necessary. Missy is set to return…

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A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 10

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Is this to be applied yet, please?

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - tardis


A87843829 - UPDATE A20361647 Doctor Who Enemies: The Master

Post 11

Bluebottle

I think so - I've nothing more to add as Missy wasn't in much of the 2015 series.smiley - smiley

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Update applied

Post 12

h2g2 Guide Editors

Update applied to A20361647smiley - biro
Updated in 2015 subheader added to textsmiley - biro
Bluebottle added to author listsmiley - biro
Update Entry removed from PRsmiley - biro

Congratulations BB!smiley - bubbly

h2g2 Eds (GBsmiley - galaxysmiley - tardis)


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