A Conversation for The Stewarts. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
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Peer Review: A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
bobstafford Started conversation Oct 22, 2014
Entry: The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain - A87842000
Author: bobstafford - U3151547
Transfered from AWW please comment
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
minorvogonpoet Posted Oct 26, 2014
This is a lively and interesting account of a strange episode. But it needs some clarification and espansion.
1. I suggest you state that James 1 was King of England at this time at the start. Am I right in thinking that he made peace with Spain after the war of Elizabeth's reign, but the peace was uneasy? It might be worth stating this.
2. When you say 'Charles may have been alright and as befits a prince of the realm', this could do with expansion. I'd read that Charles was a dignified and rather fastidious man.
3. I suggest you put the reason for the secretive approach to the mission to Spain - ie fear of the disapproval of the Protestant Parliament - in the text, rather than in a footnote.
4. In the section 'A Visit to France', you need to state who Henrietta Maria was.
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
minorvogonpoet Posted Oct 26, 2014
Your changes have made the account more complete but I'd still like to see a statement, right at the beginning, like 'In 1614, James 1 was king of England and his son Charles was heir.' (I take it that Charles' elder brother Henry had died by this time? There is an interesting story about Raleigh sending quinine for the treatment of the sick Henry.)
in the sentence beginning 'The Spanish', delete 'who'.
The sentence beginning 'James wishing to preserve the fragile peace' needs to be broken after executed.
I would move the paragraph which begins 'There is an interesting story to be found in the papers of Madame de Motteville' into the section 'A Visit to France', where it more logically belongs.
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
bobstafford Posted Oct 26, 2014
Thanks for your useful comments
All seen to the last point was altered to make it clear that rhe conversation between Charles and Madame de Motville took place at the Spanish court.
Is that satisfactory
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
minorvogonpoet Posted Oct 27, 2014
There are a few errors of grammar and spelling but it may be that the subeditors can help with those.
I'd be glad, however, to get someone else's comments on this.
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Icy North Posted Oct 27, 2014
Hi Bob,
Clearly this is an interesting event, but could you put it into a historical context? It needs an opening paragraph - yours just gets straight into the narrative.
What was significant about this period? What inspired you to write about it?
Icy
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
bobstafford Posted Oct 27, 2014
I will sort out the opening
The period is signicant it change England
Great Britain dates from this point, birth of empire, the oppression of the Catholics, Cival war, foundation of a professional army and navy the list goes on.
It started with the Mary Queen of Scots entry the begining of the dynasty. They were such openly awful society who got away with murder (well most of them with the power did awyway)
The end of the Sewarts was discussed in the Seige of Derry entry.I just filled the gaps
If Mary is number 1
2 James 1st
3 James and his children
4 George Villiers
5 the court of Spain
6 The court of France
7 The siege of Derry
I guess I should cover the civil war but that would take around 6 entries. I just thought it needed covering properly the sucess of which I am not qualified to judge
You did ask
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Icy North Posted Oct 27, 2014
That helps, Bob - thanks.
When you get a moment, read it through slowly - you have a lot of grammatical errors throughout. Too many to list here.
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Bluebottle Posted Jul 22, 2015
It's good to have a re-read - not looked at this one for a while.
I still think you need to tweak the opening paragraph slightly.
Assume that the reader knows nothing, not a sausage, about British history. I'd like to see Charles mentioned in the first sentence (as the entry is about him) along with an explanation as to who he actually was (prince, son of James I and heir to the throne)
The same with Buckingham when he is introduced (but not too much detail as there’s an entry dedicated to him which can be linked to) and that Henrietta Maria was the youngest daughter of Henri IV of France, so she isn’t confused with Maria Anna of Spain.
'Making the English an ally of Spain by marriage would effectively put an end to British competition. – I think I’d change 'would effectively' to 'could potentially'. England’s been allied with Portugal since about the 1340s, but that didn’t stopped England/Britain and Portugal taking up rival positions in the great game of Empire building…
<BB<
A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Bluebottle Posted Nov 25, 2015
I've had another read through, and it still needs a bit of a read through. I'm afraid I'd still tweak the opening.
I think I'd have the opening paragraph as a summary of the entry of the whole entry, most of which takes place in 1621 rather than 1614. So I think I'd say something like 'Between 1621 and 1624, Charles, Prince of Wales, Earl of Chester and heir to the three kingdoms of England, Scotland, and Ireland, was the subject of intense marriage negotiations between England and Spain.'
You could then have a section in which you state what the three ages (Innocence, Discretion and Adulthood) are, leading into the next bit which is where you state that as Charles approached his Age of Discretion it was considered the right time for the Spanish to begin negotiations.
Hope this makes sense.
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A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Bluebottle Posted Feb 26, 2016
Reading through, there are still a couple of questions.
This entry doesn't give any examples of anything that George did that was undignified, although someone else's behaviour is unseemly. Who exactly was Sir Edmund Varney, and why did his priest-punching behaviour result in the prince being politely asked to leave?
Have you considered adding a link to: A87856988 George Villiers - Duke of Buckingham
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A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Bluebottle Posted Mar 18, 2016
Hmm – according to the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, he is Sir Edmund Verney not Varney, and the punch-up arose when he 'protected a dying Englishman from a Catholic priest'. I'm intrigued what exactly the priest was doing to the poor bloke on his deathbed that required Verney to provide protection – I image it is more likely to be trying to provide a Catholic last rites rather than stabbing him repeatedly….?
http://www.oxforddnb.com/view/article/28228
'In 1623 he followed Prince Charles and Buckingham to Madrid where they were negotiating a Spanish match. There Verney proved himself an ardent Protestant by protecting a dying Englishman from a Catholic priest.'
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A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
Bluebottle Posted Apr 18, 2016
Looking at the opening sentence:
'Early in the year of 1621, Charles, Prince of Wales, Earl of Chester and heir to the three kingdoms of England, Scotland, and Ireland, was close to his 14th birthday'
– don't you mean 21st birthday?
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A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
bobstafford Posted Apr 18, 2016
The year was a typo 1621 = 1614 ammended
Key: Complain about this post
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Peer Review: A87842000 - The Stewarts V. Charles Stewart At The Court Of Spain
- 1: bobstafford (Oct 22, 2014)
- 2: minorvogonpoet (Oct 26, 2014)
- 3: bobstafford (Oct 26, 2014)
- 4: minorvogonpoet (Oct 26, 2014)
- 5: bobstafford (Oct 26, 2014)
- 6: minorvogonpoet (Oct 27, 2014)
- 7: Icy North (Oct 27, 2014)
- 8: bobstafford (Oct 27, 2014)
- 9: bobstafford (Oct 27, 2014)
- 10: Icy North (Oct 27, 2014)
- 11: Bluebottle (Jul 22, 2015)
- 12: bobstafford (Jul 22, 2015)
- 13: Bluebottle (Nov 25, 2015)
- 14: bobstafford (Nov 25, 2015)
- 15: Bluebottle (Feb 26, 2016)
- 16: Bluebottle (Mar 18, 2016)
- 17: bobstafford (Mar 18, 2016)
- 18: bobstafford (Mar 19, 2016)
- 19: Bluebottle (Apr 18, 2016)
- 20: bobstafford (Apr 18, 2016)
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