A Conversation for Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Peer Review: A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series - A87831138
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

The final part of the 'Raising a ... in a Science Fiction Television Series' trilogy.

As with the others, 'Raising a Baby in a Science Fiction Television Series', I'll quickly explain that as it is impossible to write about every television series ever, I have stuck to a few representative ones. I've ignored cartoons and my definition of 'Science Fiction' for this article excludes demons, vampires, Greek myths and swords & sandals, which I feel are 'fantasy'.
Similarly, films and radio series are also excluded, even films based on television series.

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A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 2

Vip

Ain't the Doctor heartless.

smiley - fairy


A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 3

Vip

Sorry, I did mean to post something a little more critique-y but couldn't quite get around to it.

It's possibly a little long for me, but I can't see anything I would want to cut.

And - whaaaat? - no Farscape Entry? Sad times.

smiley - fairy


A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 4

Bluebottle

You're right, it is sad that no-one's written purely about the pure joy that was Farscapesmiley - blue – but if you want to give it a go, I'm all behind ya. smiley - smiley

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A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 5

Gnomon - time to move on

A few nitpicks:

defeat rival the Alliance cadre --> defeat the rival Alliance cadre

Natasha Yar is almost always called Tasha Yar.

21st Century remake --> 21st-Century remake

Data, was the fifth android created by Noonien Soong -- remove the comma after Data

what chance has the rest of us got? -->
what chance have the rest of us got?

If there's one affect that the -->
If there's one effect that the

by his, and hi crewmates, descendants -->
by his and his crewmates' descendants

alternate timeline --> alternative timeline

in order to teach his younger self the ways of a Klingon warrior in order to stop Worf in the future from being killed in the Klingon High Council Chamber -- reword this. You shouldn't have two clauses starting with "in order to". You could split it into two sentences.

these sorts of relationships -->
these sorts of relationship

the Connors' can only -->
the Connor family can only

smiley - oksmiley - booksmiley - galaxy


A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 6

Bluebottle

Thanks for the suggestionsmiley - ok

All those changes have been made, except for one: alternate timeline --> alternative timeline
For some reason, this subgenre of story is known as 'Alternate Timeline' rather than 'Alternative Timeline', even if you type 'Alternative Timeline' into Google. For example see:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlternateTimeline
http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Alternate_timeline
http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Alternate_timeline
As that what the subgenre's known as, that's what I'm calling it.

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A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 7

SashaQ - happysad

I enjoyed this - a fascinating view of various characters and the family issues that affect them smiley - ok

Some things I spotted:

Is Spock's father Sarek?

"Sadly William T Riker's" - this would follow better from the previous sentence if you said something like Sadly, Picard's 'Number One' William T Riker's..."

"She too had lost a parent" - I presume it is Deanna here, not Lwaxana.

In the X-Files it is Mulder

Who is Lieutenant Tom Paris?

The Miles O'Brien paragraph should be in past tense like the others.

" Ben and Jake Sisko " - perhaps mention there that they are father and son, as I first thought that they were brothers and got confused.

In Worf's story, is Duras a Romulan?

The Terminator story is a complex one indeed! So am I right in thinking?: John Connor sent his father back in time. Kyle protected John's mother but died before John was born (raising the question of how John could instruct Kyle if Kyle died before John was born smiley - headhurts). John lives with his adoptive sister and his uncle. But who is Savannah Weaver?

smiley - ok


A87831138 - Raising a Family in a Science Fiction Television Series

Post 8

Bluebottle

Spellings tweaked and other changes made – let me know if there's anything you think needs clarifying further.smiley - ok

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 9

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Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 10

Bluebottle

smiley - yikesIt never ceases to surprise me which entries get recommended when – I was certain that this one would hang around the bottom of Peer Review for a year or so. smiley - wow

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 11

SashaQ - happysad

Excellent - Congratulations! smiley - biggrin


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