A Conversation for Operation Black Buck

Peer Review: A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 1

SashaQ - happysad

Entry: Operation Black Buck - A87864619
Author: SashaQ - happysad - U9936370

I've had a go at updating this from the Flea Market - see what you think...

Entry: Operation Black Buck - A87815893
Author: the_jon_m - bluesman of the parish - U204330


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 2

Recumbentman

'Argentinian' is not the best usage. The word does get a citation in OED, saying it means 'Argentine' (an Argentine person), or 'belonging to Argentina'.

The preferred adjective is Argentine.


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 3

Gnomon - time to move on

My dictionary gives either as acceptable and I much prefer Argentinian myself.


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 4

SashaQ - happysad

Thanks Recumbentman - I see there was a mixture of Argentinian and Argentinean used in the Entry, but I changed them to Argentine smiley - ok

I also added detail about the casualties and medals that were mentioned in the previous Peer Review thread.

smiley - tea


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 5

Vip

I never knew the complexity that went into bombing the Falklands. I'd heard of the death tolls, but not that story.

I feel like I should be able to find some comments to make but I think you managed to tell a story about war without either glorifying it or castigating it. smiley - smiley

smiley - fairy


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 6

Gnomon - time to move on

This is good, Sasha. I'm not interested in war in general, but you made this interesting enough to keep my attention until the end.

There are a few places where you repeat yourself by telling what's going to happen, then tell us what happened. This is like the TV programs that tell you what's going to happen after the break, then after the break, they tell you what's about to happen, then it happens. I haven't time now, but if you can't find them with a thorough read through, I'll read it again later.


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 7

minorvogonpoet

This is very good. smiley - smiley I'm not generally interested in military matters but this kept me reading.

I did get a bit confused in the paragraph which said 'It had been decided that the Vulcan couldn't attack from low level' and then 'Visibility was limited as they were having to come in at low level' Maybe you need to rephrase a bit.


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 8

SashaQ - happysad

Thanks everyone smiley - biggrin

Not my topic of choice either, but the_jon_m had made a good start with it.

I've adjusted the RAF Get Ready section to reduce the repetition, and also tweaked the low level flying paragraph.

smiley - ok


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 9

minorvogonpoet

smiley - ok


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 10

Gnomon - time to move on

This looks pretty good now.

You still say "Then the crews had to practise not only refuelling but also low-level precision bombing." and then later tell us that low-level bombing was not possible. I think you could just leave out "low-level" from this first sentence.

It looked like the RAF would be out of this fight --> It looked as if the RAF would be out of this fight

Most of the equipment for refuelling in the surviving aircraft had thus been removed. -->
Most of the equipment for air-to-air refuelling had thus been removed from the surviving aircraft.


A87864619 - Operation Black Buck

Post 11

SashaQ - happysad

Thanks Gnomon - I made those changes smiley - ok


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 12

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Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

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Post 13

Bluebottle

smiley - applauseBiddi-biddi-biddi – okay Buck!smiley - ok

<BB<


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

Gnomon - time to move on

Well done! smiley - bubbly


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 15

SashaQ - happysad

smiley - laugh Thank you smiley - biggrin


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 16

bobstafford

Good work well done smiley - cheerssmiley - alesmiley - ale


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