h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been doing most if not all for years, but one of the best is just not clearing out the microwave, ok here goes


Take one can of veggie soup (it has to have a good expansive value)

empty it into a mug


place it into said mike wave

10 minutes is the right time for the mike wave to be on


make sure it placed ten minutes before the reat of the team has a coffee brake

Heh heh. Yeah, that's a good 'un!

yeah! i have many years of disruption behind me, another good one , is phoning the boss's mobile phone, just as he/she is going to the toilet, watch when they are going to the bog and then count to 10 and then ring, i bet you that they just have their pants just around there ankles

I have a more

Look! Look! http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/plain/F19585?thread=8093604

I've discovered another excellent way to be anti-social.

Smoke a pipe. I sat down in the sun yesterday afternoon with a tumbler of single malt, a Kindle with the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and a pipe. After a few faltering starts, I tamped down a pinch or three of fine tobacco which was, as it goes, infused with whisky, and spent the next thirty minutes or so in quiet contemplation of Conan Doyle's detective. Eventually I concluded my smoke, tapped out the bowl, cleaned the stem, and retired to the indoor lounge.

Where I discovered that I reeked. Properly reeked, every hair on my head, every item of my clothing (how can pipe-smoking make your UNDERPANTS smell???), every breath, every inch of my skin. Took me longer to get clean than it took me to smoke. I have, in the past, smoked cigarettes, but unless my nasal palate has changed a LOT since then, they never caused me to smell as bad, as quickly, as one pipe did.

I have concluded a number of things from this:

1. while a pipe does operate excellently to convey an image of eccentricity, actually smoking the thing is not for me
2. the decline of pipe smoking is very likely linked, I think, to the increase in people's concern for the way they smell, which in turn was driven (as I understand it) by the TV advertising of the 1950s which more or less invented the concept of "B.O." as a way of selling soap. Nobody with any concern for the way they smell would smoke a pipe.
3. I might start smoking a pipe just before I leave for work...

Huh. I wonder why? They even sound worse than pre-rolled cigarettes, which out-smell their rolled counterparts. Definitely something to include in this Entry.

It may be that cigarettes last about five minutes, whereas my pipe gave me in excess of half an hour's smoking. Plus the tobacco was pretty aromatic...

flip flops, are always good for annoying the office crocs are also good just put some water in them and then walk throughout the office, boy o boy what a giggle

I worked with a guy who smoked a pipe and drank strong black coffee and pretty much wore the same suit all the time. One of those woolen thick ones so the odour of stale pipe smoke lingered. Time to start wearing tweed as well...and just for good measure squirt yourself down with a water mister before you go into work to get that ammonia odour off the tweed working its charm.

I tend to shout, when answering the phone too!

I am so buying a tweed suit this weekend...

Plenty of 2nd hand worn in tweed suits at Affleck's. The area smelt like the sitting room of an old peoples home.

You know, if it wasn't looking like a light easterly all weekend, I'd be down there like a shot. As it is, I'm counting on some thermals on at least one of those days, and I need to open my XC account for the year soon.

Mate...you'll never needs thermals if you're wearing tweed.

Obviously if you *do* work in an old people homes the Tweed suit gambit will not work...

When I said "I'm counting on some thermals"... oh, never mind.

I once took the photocopyer hostage

right them the very last one


phone in sick the just turn up at work!