h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Great White Shark (Carcharodon carcharias) - A6835584
Author: Opti strong hands- thanks everyone for their help - U231227

Drum Roll please .... The Great White shark entry is passing into Peer Review

Colour - don't sharks tan in the same way we do? Maybe worth mentioning.

What about mentioning actual numbers of attacks on humans?

The Killer Whale is the only animal to hunt Great Whites. I think this is a fascinating fact, well worth a mention!

Is it Great White Shark, Great white shark or Great White shark? Several instances occur.

No h2g2 Edited Guide or BBC Nature links? Adding some of those might be worthwhile. There's plenty to choose from EG wise, like Shark Fin Soup A311473 and some other fishy entries.

It reads very much like an encyclopaedic Entry, while there's nothing wrong with that, I always feel that hootoo EG Entries should offer a little more than what might be otherwise read in an encyclopaedia. The references to media are interesting - no mention of 'Deep Blue Sea' or even the books by Peter Benchley that inspired the film 'Jaws'. There is also information about the Great White to be found at various eco-sites (like WWF).

Some other ideas to make this Entry stand out -

Where is the best place to go and see Great Whites - either in captivity or in nature? And indeed, SHOULD people go out looking for them?

What's the weirdest thing found in the stomach of a captured Great White (I think I read somewhere the remains of a Volkswagen 'Beetle' were discovered in one)

Shark skin is being used in the fields of swimming and golf! (something to do with it's adherent properties) and this may be another cause of over-fishing the species.

Are sharks being used by the military as mine-hunters and potential 'weapons' much like dolphins and whales? (ooo, conspiracy)

All in all, great start to an Entry!

'Shark skin is being used in the fields of swimming and golf! (something to do with it's adherent properties)'

Well, fast-moving sharks like hammerheads and mako have 'dermal denticles' which reduce drag and help the shark to cut througfh water at up to 70mph.

I have been unable to find numbers of shark attacks, golf ball rumours, military rumours, weird eating habits. But I have a few links lined up and will continue to be on the look out for suitable links. If anyone would be so kind as to help me on this I wish them well and thanks... Also how do you think I could develop this entry away from an encyclopedic type format?

Some links

The Sea A2181719

The 'Sixth Sense' of Weakly Electric Fish A735004

Fish A5808170

Surviving Being Eaten by a Whale A471548

Dolphins A183359

Personal Space A2998489

these are thanks for these

Love the entry...Here's some of my thoughts and suggesstions,

I do think you need more links...within Hootoo and out into the wider world...link to IMDB maybe more the movie information,

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/ - Jaws
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0149261/ - Deep Blue Sea
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0307453/ - shark tale

In the bit about their food you may like to mention that their hunting method against seals in some places. They have been known to actually leap out of the water like humpback whales do when hunting. Now that is scary a couple of tons of predator in mid air!

Do you have some evidence about the test bites being a recognition thing like a dog. I'd always thought it was more to do with food, the shark bites to taste the possible food too see if its palatable or not. Unforetunately for us small bite from such a big shark is generally fatal due to blood loss even though the shark will have by then realised we are not a snack.

You may also want to link to some sites about the locations you mention Farallon and Dyers Islands.

Finally heres Fishbase's scientific breakdown of the great white,
http://www.fishbase.org/Summary/speciesSummary.php?ID=751&genusname=Carcharodon&speciesname=carcharias

keep up the work and you'll have it in the guide in no time...

doh just re-read the whole paragraph about test bites...ignore me (as usual )

Updated Any more comments optis all ears

Another one, Opti? Good for you!

Comments to follow...

My suggestions - one at a time, I'm afraid:

"...characterised by visions such as Jaws, Sharkie and George and Shark Tale. Sharks aren't cute and neither are they killing machines these stereotypes are far from the truth. In fact there is little known about sharks and as they become more and more endangered its time to face up to the truth about them and understand more about them before they become extinct."

change to:

"...characterised by television programmes such as Sharkie and George and films such as Shark Tale and Jaws. Sharks aren't cute and cuddly but neither are they killing machines. In fact little is known about sharks and as they become increasingly endangered it is time to face up to the truth about them and try to understand more about them before they become extinct."

Also, I'm not sure if the films and tv titles hould be in italics. Maybe, maybe not. Check the <./>writing-guidelines</.>.

"Great White Sharks are a very large species of shark. They are streamlined swimmers, and have a torpedo-shaped body with a pointed snout. For decades the weight and measurements of the Great White Shark have been debatable. However, after much consideration many academics now believe that the Great White Shark’s maximum length is 6 m (20 ft). While new born Great White Sharks measure only 47 inches long. It is believed that the Great White Shark weighs about 1900 kg (4200 lb.). However, weighing a Great White Shark has proven controversial in that the Great White Shark differs in body weight depending on whether it has just eaten a meal"

to

"The Great White is a very large species of shark. They are streamlined swimmers and have a torpedo-shaped body with a pointed snout. For decades the weight and measurements of the Great White Shark have been debated. However, after much consideration many academics now believe that the Great White Shark’s maximum length is 6 m (20 ft), new-born Great Whites measure only 47 inches long. It is believed that the Great White Shark weighs about 1900 kg (4200 lb.). However, weighing a Great White Shark has proven controversial in that the Great White Shark differs in body weight depending on whether it has just eaten a meal"

Surely all animals will differ in body weight if they have just eaten? Is it just a largetr difference for great whites given the amount that they eat? I think you need a metric equivalent of 47 inches.

"The teeth are triangularly shaped" -> "The teeth are triangular"

"with serrations on the edges and they are retractable" -> "with serrations on the edges and they are retractable"

"While their skin is rough as sandpaper and can cut fish as they swim past the shark." -> "Their skin is rough as sandpaper and can cut fish as they swim past the shark."

"Although, named The Great White Shark, this particular species is in fact found in black, slaty-grey and dun and only its ventral surfaces are white."

->

"Although named The Great White Shark, this particular species is in fact found in black, slaty-grey and dun - only its ventral surfaces are white."

You should probably explain what a ventral surface is in a footnote.

"There is a destinct line of demarcation" -> "distinct" and here:

"form of blotching is said to be destinct to where the shark originated from"

"like Australian sharks (but with much variance)" -> "like Australian sharks, though it varies a great deal."

"While Mediterranean sharks" -> "Mediterranean sharks"

"they can pick up electrical charges as small as 0.005 microvolts even if they are hiding from the shark."

->

"they can pick up electrical charges as small as 0.005 microvolts even if the prey is hiding."

Where do these electrical charges come from? What causes them?

"Annually the number of Great White Sharks differ and can be very variable and unpredictable, there are in effect good and bad years as to the number of Great White’s being produced and it is not known why."

->

"Annually, the number of Great White Sharks differs and can be very variable and unpredictable. It is not known why some years see more Great Whites being born than others."


"There is believed to be 200 Great Whites living in the Dangerous Reef area of South Australia. Another way Great Whites are numbered has been through fishing."

->

"There are believed to be 200 Great Whites living in the Dangerous Reef area of South Australia. Another way the numbers of Great Whites is being reduced is through fishing."

"1280 metres" -> "1,280 metres".


"When it believes the prey to be dead it rips it into shreds and swallows it whole."

->

"When a Great White believes the prey to be dead it rips it into shreds and swallows it whole."


"Unlike Jaws which"

->

"Unlike the shark in Jaws" (again depending on rules for italics or quotation marks - unless the shark is actually called Jaws, in which case it's ok but probably needs clarification)

"was made out to be a hungry for humans and lonely shark"

->

"was made out to be hungry for humans and lonely,"

You refer to a "caudal fin" but I don't think you've explained what one is.

And finally -

"There is still much to learn about the Great White Shark regards behaviour."

->

"There is still much to learn about the Great White Shark as regards behaviour."

"What is known from examining the pregnant females is that Great Whites are ovoviviparous, the eggs develop and hatch in the females uterus and continue developing until they are born"

->

"What is known from examining the pregnant females is that Great Whites are ovoviviparous, which means that the eggs develop and hatch in the females uterus and continue developing until they are born"


"there is no placenta in which to feed off"

->

"there is no placenta on which to feed"

"Even when the young are born their mother doesn’t help them"

->


"Even when the young are born their mother doesn’t help them"

->


"Even when the young are born their mother does not help them"

"A White Shark can reproduce when a male's length is around 3.8 meters and a female's length is around 4.5 to 5 meters."

This is an odd way t put it, is there information on how old they are when they can reproduce?

"In some countries the Great White Shark can be seen as a source of food and even if they are not seen as food, to other people, it doesn’t stop them from being caught up accidentally in the fishermen’s fishing nets which catch sharks prey and takes it away from them for human consumption"

->

"In some countries the Great White Shark is seen as a source of food, but even if this is not the case, they can still be caught up accidentally in fishing nets, which also hurt them by catching their prey and taking it away from them for human consumption".

I'm assuming here that they can be caught in the net, and are not just hurt by the loss of prey. That was the impression I got.


"This loss of prey through fishing and the loss of prey through pollutants and overfishing"

->

"As well as losing prey through human fishing, Great Whites also lose prey to pollutants"

You need to explain (probably in a footnote) what cage diving is.


"The Great White Shark also can be seen to be quite a tourist attraction with the best places to see the Great White Shark in the wild being..."

->

"The Great White Shark is also quite a tourist attraction. The best places to see the Great White Shark in the wild are..."


"This aside though Farallon Islands is not quite as eco-friendly as first thought it would be."

->

"This aside though Farallon Islands is not quite as eco-friendly as it first thought it would be."

"Usually Great Whites do not attack humans on purpose, most attacks are test bites by sharks to recognise the creature",

->

"Usually Great Whites do not attack humans on purpose. Most attacks are test bites by sharks to recognise the creature",

"Other attacks are because of a mistaken identity, from the bottom, a paddling surfer looks much like a seal (one of the Great White's target prey). Humans aren't good for the Great White to eat"

->

"Other attacks are due to a case of mistaken identity - from the bottom of the sea, a paddling surfer looks much like a seal (one of the Great White's target prey). Humans are certainly not ideal for the Great White to eat"

That's it. I know it looks terrible, but they're virtually all points of grammar to make it clearer and easier to read - the content is top notch!

This entry is really good, Opti, good luck with it. And, of, course, the suggestions I have made are just my so ignore them if you like!

Thanks Elentari you're ACE

Is my grammar really poor? I only ask because I would like to do this sort of thing as a career and realise companies want perfect grammar.

Notes primarily to self: Still working on the footnotes, desire to fill out threats ... I expect I can google the inches equivalent.

from a tired but content opti

Cheers Opti, I thought you'd hate me when you read all those!

I wouldn't say it's poor, just that sometimes you could word things better - not that they don't make sense, simply that it could be improved a bit. Hope that makes sense.

Writing lots of guide entries will help, as well making suggestions on other people's. I was helping some friends write personal statement type letters yesterday and suggesting alternative wording - I realised commenting in PR and writing EG entries has really helped me improve my writing. Of course, doing essay-based subjects at college and uni has helped too.

The other thing is tha it is easier to spot when something could be worded better in someone else's entries than it is in your own. That's what I find anyway.