My wife, Deb, has gone away for 5 nights, leaving me, literally, holding the baby .

My initial plan was to take some time off work, pack Rebecca and the dog into the car and head up the coast where Debs parents have a holiday house.

However, events conspired against me. The time frame involved coincided with not only a long weekend but the start of the school holidays. These two events coupled with the fact that one of the two domestic airlines has stopped flying due to financial incompetence, meant that traffic would have been so horrendous as to turn a four hour drive into a potential double-figure nightmare. Not a pleasant thought at the best of times, even without a screaming baby in the back.

It should be noted at this point that such trips with Deb usually involve large volumes of flash alcohol and food, consumed to a musical accompaniment and often involving the reading of some new books (when one is not strolling along one of the numerous beaches in the vicinity).

What to do?

It might be difficult to create the beach environment whilst staying home in Sydney. Sure there are any number of beaches I could go to, but there are an extremely large number of other people who will also be there. However I should be able to replicate almost everything else...

Firstly, get the mundane normal grocery shopping out of the way, then visit one of the better bottle shops in the area for the following ingredients (vary at your own discretion, however a mixture of local and imported product is recommended):

• Theakston Old Peculiar
• Fullers 1845
• Orvel
• Gueze¹.
• Hightail Ale - boutique Melbourne brewer
• Coopers Aged Special Stout - cellared prior to release
• Coopers Dark Ale

From thence on to one of the best butchers in Sydney (they even use real meat in the sausages):

• Various types of gourmet sausages
• Rack of ribs
• Organic beef steaks
• Lamb back straps

The Italian deli:

• Smoked salmon
• Pate
• Olives
• Dips
• Salami
• Bread

Then the Cd shop:

• Bob Marley
• Radiohead
• Kyuss
• Ministry

Don't forget to fill up the gas bottle for the barbie!!!

Spend days keeping Rebecca² occupied/happy. Okay, this might not be a holiday per se, but it is fun and think of the brownie points involved!

Wait until Rebecca goes to bed at 7:30 then mix above ingredients at will. Repeat as necessary.

Not only do you not forget to bring anything, you can also supplement the above with items from your wine cellar / library / cd collection as required, and best of all baby is sleeping in her normal bed (did I mention the word SLEEPING ).

I may never go away on holidays again... except for that rugby trip to Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia I am organising for next year, but that's another story!

Linus

08.11.01. Front Page

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