S.T.U.M.P.E.D. Stadium!

20 Conversations

Most evil villains have a secret hideout. Ha! That's not the way to do things. S.T.U.M.P.E.D.1. Stadium is the home for the Supervillains League here on h2g2. This is where the supervillains of the Guide come to work, play, carry out fiendish plots, haze the newcomers, argue with the oldcomers, chill after a long day, or party as a celebration for the success of a plan2.


Should You Join S.T.U.M.P.E.D.?


Yes. You should. Well, maybe not if you're a goody-two-shoes who just wants to spread peace and joy and happiness wherever you go3. However, if you think that you might ever want to do anything ranging from taking over every Universe that exists, to stealing candy from a baby, better play it safe and join. While you probably won't get in trouble from us if you don't get a supervillains license, go out, and steal a candy bar, we're a serious union built on rules that must be upheld by the members. In other words, if the thought of global domination has ever crossed your mind (or just the thought of being insanely mischievous), then join up. NOW!


What Does Membership Entail?


Good question! Membership in S.T.U.M.P.E.D. is very simple. First of all, all members will receive a S.T.U.M.P.E.D. identification card (laminated, of course), which will allow you to enter various areas of the Stadium depending on your rank, and will also create a company account that you can use to purchase materials that you may need for your schemes, whether you have evil intentions or not4. Second, you will receive a subscription to at least one (more cost extra) Supervillains magazine, such as Supervillain Monthly, The Deep 13 Catalog Of Evil Inventions, etc. Third, joining this group will probably open you up to attacks from members of this group. Don't worry, it's not like everyone's gonna just turn on you simultaneously, but the little battles between ourselves have been known to get a tad out of hand5. Fourth, membership will grant you the freedom to lay out, prepare for, and carry out any evil scheme that you devise (along with the freedom to use such weapons as Continuity Guns and Snowzar Cannons, once you have received the proper clearance from your superiors). Fifth, there will be orders given at some point. They won't necesarilly be directed at you, but they will exist. STUMPED agents are expected to carry out orders from superior members6. You will not be expected to enjoy it, however. In fact, some agents can't be politely asked to stay out of the action without a few days' worth of sarcastic comments. You'll only be required to do the task, and finish it. Oh, and finally, this also means that you will be an enemy of C.H.O.P.P.E.R.S., the Super Hero League7. That's about it, really.


S.T.U.M.P.E.D. Stadium In All Its Glory!


What can ya do here? Well, this Stadium/Arena/Community Center is built for a ridiculous amount of purposes. Non-members should probably first go to the Initiation Forum before checking out any other facilities. After that, there's a lounge for relaxing in, a battlefield for battling in, a laboratory for use when you work on your fiendish plans, a zoo filled with evil critters from around the galaxy, a stage for recreational purposes, and dozens of other nooks and crannys8. So, step into the hazing booth initiates, and members feel free to roam around the New And Improved STUMPED HQ!


Member Roster (Under Construction)


The Original (Fearsome) Five Members!


These are the founding five, who braved a diabolical game of Twister as the original initiation procedure.


The Krylma Leader
Big Bad Werewolf
The Masque Of The Red Rejection eMail
Darth Noire
NYC Student

The "Albuquerque" Era, And Beyond!


Then came a long series of newer, more gruelling hazing processes. First the new recruits had to survive without food and water for three days in a pitch black rubber room while Weird Al's "Albuquerque" blasted, non-stop. Then the pit was added, sending six initiates at a time into giant steel balls (one of which contained a thermonuclear explosive), while the initiates played "Hungry, Hungry Hippos" with them. After they stumbled out, they had to find a needle in a field of haystacks. Nowadays what do we do? "Pinball, anyone"? Anyway, there have been many, many, many, many, many recruits to join the forces of S.T.U.M.P.E.D. So many, in fact, that we have officially decided that it's too difficult to keep track of them all, especially those who only show up for initiation and then vanish (it's happened very frequently, you know). This is why we do not have an active roster. But don't worry, if you've joined, just remember the joining post as evidence. It should work out for you.


More Coming Soon!


Special Note: prize to the first S.T.U.M.P.E.D. agent who emails me9 and notes that the main page even changed.

1STUMPED stands for "Sinister Thinkers Unleashing Multifarious Pernicious Evil Deeds."2Not that this happens very often. We're supervillains, remember.3Unless that's a reason why you're evil, such as Happydude.4Some corporations, such as CLI, accept the STUMPED ID card, even though they know that STUMPED agents could potentially be up to no good. But be on the safe side, don't just blurt out what you're going to be using the stuff for, okay? They still have the right to refuse service, after all.5We all ended friends again, but don't tell anyone, it's bad for propaganda.6By which we mean The Krylma Leader, and anyone else that we say is superior at the time.7On the job only. Off the job you're allowed to socialize, talk to, and even be cheerful towards the good guys. Just not when you're working.8Ever wonder what a cranny is, or how you're supposed to spell the plural for it? I know that I do.9Or, I suppose, afgncaap5....

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