A Conversation for Drinking and Driving

Peer Review: A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 1

Cruentos Solum

Entry: Drinking and Driving - A36804017
Author: Cruentos Solum - U11854219

Um mm, I did this a while ago never had time to fiddle with it due to the controversial topic, but this I was wondering if it looks like a chassis for something concrete from this angle. Does it?


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 2

Mr603

Not touching this one with a barge pole. Good luck!


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 3

Bluebottle

I enjoyed reading this, but Peer Review isn't the place for it. Something promoting breaking the law and criminal behaviour is unlikely to make it into the Edited Guide, sorry.

That said, this was well written, had an enjoyable style, and I would definitely want to read more by you. I wonder whether you would consider submitting it elsewhere on h2g2, such as possibly <./>ThePost</.> or Writing-Alternative Alternative Writing Workshop?

I hope that you do share this in a more appropriate place where it can be enjoyed. I also hope that you decide to write about something suitable for Peer Review.

Hope this helps smiley - smiley

<BB<


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 4

Gnomon

Strangely, Mr603, you said exactly the same thing when this was last in Peer Review, in 2008.


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 5

Bluebottle

Previous Peer Review thread here: F10321247?thread=5527378

<BB<


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 6

minorvogonpoet


I don't think it would be apropriate to give this a public airing.


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 7

Cruentos Solum

Ah yes ummm, was trying to make it obvious that it's not encouraged as such and so on but it doesn't quite stick does it.

Thanks anyways, was worth a try I just came across it and said why not. Ummmm, what are the rules exactly so that I have an idea what to avoid and all that?


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 8

Florida Sailor

If you really want this in the Edited Guide, you need to switch tacks and start with the dangers of Drinking and Driving. Explain the consequences, both legal and physical. You could then include what you have here as some examples of how some people try to (unsuccessfully) to beat the system.

You might like to check out A2198496 But note it did not make it into the EG

smiley - goodluck

Fsmiley - dolphinS


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 9

lil ~ ACE/Scout/CE/Guru


Hi CS,

You will find some help here: A53209

Sadly I have to agree that you current Entry isn't suitable for the Guide at time.

Florida Sailor has given you some very good advice smiley - ok


lil x
Scout


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 10

Icy North

This is a very difficult entry to write, and I can't easily see how you would structure it so the humour doesn't trivialise the seriousness of the subject - especially when you consider the editorial values that we have in place for the Edited Guide (which I strongly support).

This would only really work if everybody reading it knew from the outset that it was a piece of satirical humour, and that may only work if you published on a different site altogether. To get it into the Edited Guide here you'd need to change the tone so much that you might not think it's worthwhile. I'd applaud anyone who tried, though. Just be prepared for a long and difficult journey.


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 11

Happy Nerd

Cruentos Solum,

You need to decide on a focus for this piece. It never makes the case that driving while intoxicated is an art or sport. It has some attempts at humor, which aren't polished enough to work as humor.

There is nothing wrong with using humor to address serious subjects, and several EGEs do so very well. However, this piece is a fair way from being ready to stand beside them. If you are serious about whipping this piece into publishable shape, then please take it over to the EGWW or the AW.


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 12

Dmitri Gheorgheni

This brings up a good question:

Is it possible to be snide in the Edited Guide?

Well, yes, of course. But you've got to take a few things into consideration:

1. Legal issues. You've got to be free and in the clear, liability-wise.

2. Reader issues. You can't assume your entry will only be read by educated, clever, responsible people like those in Peer Review. smiley - whistle Dummies read this stuff, too. They'll go and stick beans in their ears if you're not careful. And then try to sue you.

3. What you want to do is to make absolutely sure the reader knows what side you're on, all the time. Jokes are okay, but not if you sound like you're advocating stuff that would get you arrested.

I've got an entry sitting in PR that's pretty snide about the commercial exploitation of labour in the antebellum South: A87785031 I don't think anybody could manage to think I supported the Confederacy at this point. smiley - winkeye

If you'd like to take this particular piece over to the AWW, some people there would enjoy helping you poke it into shape as a satire piece. My suggestion on that would be to follow Happy Nerd's advice: refocus the 'argument'.

How about 'How to Win a (Posthumous) Darwin Award - Drink and Drive'?


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 13

Bluebottle

The author seems to have smiley - elvised. I would like to propose Back to Entry.

<BB<


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 14

Dmitri Gheorgheni

I would, too. smiley - smiley


A36804017 - Drinking and Driving

Post 15

h2g2 Guide Editors

smiley - drumrollEntry removed from PR


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