Mayhem, Inc.

3 Conversations

You see a lone building along the riverfront not unlike a tunnel ventilation building or a telecommunications outpost. Above the front door is a modest engraving of the STUMPED symbol. As you walk through the entrance, you see a very smartly dressed secretary behind Bauhaus furniture in a front office that has definitely seen some clever interior designers with unlimited budgets come through. In fact, the only thing that really screams evil corporation would be the jumpsuited henchmen with submachine guns that have serrupticiously appeared behind you.

That and the secretary's glasses. There's just something unsettling about those glasses. She looks at you with mild bemusement.

[Secretary] Hello and welcome to Mayhem, Incorporated. Now, what is it that you want?

Please watch for flying metal on your way down the hall...

Down a hallway past the front desk are a number of double doors to various interior departments of this supervillain organization. The first to the left is...

Dungeon/Torture Chamber/Personnel Department

Mayhem, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer, which of course doesn't affect the fact that we still reserve the right regarding any employee who underperforms on assigned tasks (capturing superheros, subjugating nations, filing duty) to find various ironic, creative ways of crushing their humanity and will to live (The rack, the Iron Maiden, filing duty).

We have a good dental plan. Please ignore the screaming.

Following on the right is...

Accounting Department

Here are not rows of calculators and printouts of the goo-gobs of money spent to keep this place up and running (and believe me, it's not like there's any end of investors), but instead Accounting holds the eyes and ears of Mayhem, Inc. utilize various gadgets, imported or locally made, to spy, keep tabs on, and record the movements of potential superheros and other victims. But why do we call it accounting? Well, it was all this guy's idea:

[Random Worker] Why, because we have to account for such contingencies!

*BLAM!*

Sorry about that. Here, we have a no tolerance view towards such corny jokes. Guards! Clean up on Aisle Four...

Research & Development

When not actively designing and manufacturing Weapons of Mass Destruction (Yes, we have a license. No, you can't see it), Mayhem Inc's Developments department supplements its budget by the manufacture and sale of plush figurines of popular supervillains in their exploits. We make a killing in marketing. Literally.

War Room

Nothing to see here. Move Along.

Supply Depot

Over down a hallway past several particularly beefy henchmen in spiffy jumpsuits and various weapons of the many bullet-shooting variety is the Mayhem, Inc. supply depot. We house a large assortment of small arms, large arms, at least one purchased nuclear warhead (with Hebrew stencil on the side) and we soon expect one SCUD Launcher to grace a spot in this warehouse. Recently we've been having a spate of thefts from this stash, despite our doubling of the guards in the area. What really gets us is that this is the only hallway into the depot and they have orders to shoot visitors on sight. Too bad our biggest suspect is invisible. We really should do something about that.


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