h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Following the successful lawsuit against Red Bull in the US where it was argued their product does not in fact give the user wings, are there any other examples of false advertising we can expose to make a quick bu... erm, to make advertising more realistic?

I would suggest that Toblerone is not actually manufactured by triangular bees utilising triangular honey.

Kwik Fit fitters may be quite proficient but I'm sure it is possible to find more skilled vehicle technicians.

A finger of fudge is not just enough - and it never was.

Any others keen-eyed hootooers may have spotted?

The bottom just dropped out of my world, swl.

Is there *no-one* we can now trust?

Well we obviously can't trust anyone in pre-mod

I strongly suspect that Keebler products are *not* baked in a hollow tree by elves.

Charlie the Tuna is not as arrogant and self-important as he is portrayed.

Mozart chocolates are *not* authorized by Mozart himself.

Trix are not *just* for kids.

The Great Wall of China is much bigger than those Geico ads suggest.
Also, the Geico gecko has an excellent memory for his lines, and should sue the company for putting him in a bad light.

Kia cars and trucks are *not* designed for fat people in huge mouse suits.

Most ads for high-performance sports cars improperly characterize the roads on which most of the cars will be driven. Go from 0 to 60 in just a fe3w seconds? Most streets are so crowded, you're lucky top inch along at 20 mph.

In general, much of the advertising copy you see is inflated beyond what is logical. No wonder the kids don't get high test scores.

I can say with the confidence of personal experience
that a BMW is not the ultimate driving experience.
Penultimate perhaps, but not ultimate.

~jwf~

shreddies are not knitted

Shreddies! OMG did you see their attempt
to rejuvenate sales by marketing the exact
same product as a diamond shape.

(As a former adman and TV ad writer/producer
I had to admire their bald-faced obfuscation
when I actually grew concerned that I couldn't
find the diamond shaped ones on sale. Looking
more closely at the adverts finally convinced
me they'd not actually lied, just held one of
the original squares at an angle.)


~jwf~

So who really did believe the Red Bull ads? Has to be someone literally minded and most people aren't that literal in their thinking.Most of us can easily see through such nonsense.

Were they really seeking truth and transparency?Or did someone see a big payout?

Queue further methods of prying money out of retailers and manufacturers I suspect.

However if it leads to less ads I'd be more than happy..I feel my life is being polluted by incessant bombardment by advertising.

OMG! I don't have a TV!; they do diamond shaped ones now? I'm so gona have to buy a dozen boxes of them tomorrow... tiangular food, and variations of a triangle, in food form, is just the bees whatsists...

No, no, no my 2legged friend.
A diamond is not a triangle - it's a square
balanced on one corner - like a baseball field.
http://clipartpin.com/clipart_file/baseball-diamond-clipart-14.jpg

The commercial showed a regular Shreddie square being held
up between thumb and finger at the top and bottom corners.

~jwf~

But!... But!... those heartless... heartless... words escape me...
I was so* so* so* excited there, for a moment! Has it come to this? they... they just don't care... they raise our hopes up, so high, send our expectations and hope, and desires, up, and up again, raise them to the pinicle, the zenith of expectation and desire, and need and want, and, and then, those heartless... heartless... people... do we mean so little... so little, that, instantly they dash, smash, and distroy our hopes and dreams... ruin our wanton desires for triangular food... and leave our hopes, smashed, gasping for air, on the rocks of dispare...
I hope they'll take seriously, my letter to them... demanding compensation... I mean... t therapy for such a distructive distruction of ones desires and hopes, like this, in such a wanton method... that could take weeks of therapy... maybe even years

Since I can't find a context for shreddies in this thread, I remain in the dark about what they are. The closest I can come in shredded wheat, a cold cereal manufactured by Nabisco. For some odd reason, it no longer seems to be offered for sale in my nearest supermarket. It's only crime was its inability to provide enough sugar to appeal to the children.

Unsweetened cereal has virtually been eradicated from the cold cereal aisles of the average supermarket. It's time to protest this treatment of the cereal-eating public! Demand that pharmacies stock unsweetened cereals as a medical necessity.

Curiously this may well be a Canadian v USA difference thing.

OMG... I just discovered Nabisco is a Canadian Company.
The National Biscuit Company was on the Canadian side of
Niagara Falls competing with Post Cereals.

Way back when, they even had the Falls on the box (seen from the US side):
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l53nYlOBY6M/TkxPMUz_ZVI/AAAAAAAABGg/TGTkPcd04wc/s1600/shredded_wheat3jpg.jpg

Nabisco often had special mail-in offers for kids.

http://img0.etsystatic.com/040/1/6535634/il_340x270.651490030_70fx.jpg

Here's a pic that shows the Shreddies box, with characters posing
as Shreddies, one is square and one is a diamond. AND... sugar-
coated, strawberry infused, choco and caramel ones are available.

http://indacampo.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/shreddies.jpg

I just discovered there really was a diamond shaped version:

http://ibackpackcanada.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/shreddies-cereal-e1331556624213.jpg


~jwf~

The car in front of me this morning was a Kia, not a Toyota.

I've taken to sort of, making my own ceriel well, the hippy organic shop the other side of the graveyard, sells these bags of musely base mix, and I just add various stuff to it... mainly nuts and raisens, and other bits of dried fruits Which reminds me, must get more hazlenuts to add to it to balance it out a little more Mind, I tend to eat it with yoghrt, not milk, and with fresh berries thrown in too and then balance out the healthyness by having a second, fried breakfast afterwards

Talking of advertising, I happened to come across a youtube thinggy, a while back, and found some old TV adds from the 80s, and they were so dated in comparason to the adverts of today (despite not owning a TV I do make a point of catching up with any new TV adverts at least once a year ) Sadly, the few times I've been unfortunately forced to listen to loca commercial radio, it seems they've not really moved at all, with the quality of their adverts damnit.... and now I've got a stupid jingle song thinggy, for a Suffolk taxi firm in my head

Shreddies are not really knitted by Grandmas. If they are, nobody has offered me a job.

It's a really odd one, this. The court case was absolutely not about the truth or otherwise of the claim about Red Bull literally giving people "wings" - it was actually about their (physical and mental) performance enhancing claims which weren't backed up by evidence. Turns out it's no better than caffeine.

I believe Lukozade had to withdraw adverts in the UK for similar reasons - the science didn't back the claims being made about performance enhancement for non-elite sports people.

And yet this case has being reported as one of these hilarious wacky vexatious mad lawsuits. Is this brilliant spin, lazy journalism, or just the irresistible lure of the easy headline?

I don't watch TV so I don't have any suggestions to make.

A couple of years ago, several people in Germany cracked the pun that if you needed a piano you could get one from Red Bull.

"Red Bull verleiht Flügel" could be translated as "Red Bull gives you wings" but also literally as "Red Bull hires out grand pianos".

If you don't believe me, ask Sho, Pierce or Yelbakk.

'Who cares? Boots' - If Boots really cared, they wouldn't have lost the photos I left for them to develop.

A Mars a day won't help you work, rest and play - it'll make you fat.

And you can beat the feeling you get from a Coca Cola (in my case, often hiccups).

<BB<

Everything is not £1 at Poundland. The ASA comes down on their claims.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/11147897/Poundworlds-everything-1-claim-banned-by-watchdog.html