Take a Vogon to Your Heart

Vogons are underrated

Probably because they're so badly hated

By other life-forms and artificial or spiritual intelligences of four or more dimensions

Except the Bargleheads of Section 27.

But the Postlethwaites at no. 24

Are hated even more,

And next-door's Siamese cat

who uses our lawn as his lavatory is hated even more than that.

This all-pervasive anti-Vogon hatred's not strictly fair

For Vogons have virtues too, even if sometimes it's hard to see they're there

Like the skilful demolishing of planets and being able to shout Resistance Is Useless very loud and managing not to evolute

Like humans have - towards being hostile apes in suits

or skirts

Who think digital watches and mobile phones are cute

or worse.

Vogons may be hard and ignorant but they have poetic souls

And write exotic poetry that doesn't rhyme

Although Vogon Gestetner, Photocopier First Class,

Can copy verse that rhymes

A million times,

A million times.

So take a Vogon to your heart and hearth today,

He'll probably demolish your house before he goes away

- it's just his way

Of not saying thankyou.