Frederick's Gaol

Consider the case of Frederick II, an 18th-century king of Prussia. Frederick considered himself an enlightened monarch, and
in many ways he was. On one occasion, he is supposed to have interested himself in the conditions of a Berlin prison. He was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners.

One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before
him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter
innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.

Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's
curiosity was aroused.

"You," he called. "You, there!"

The prisoner looked up. "Yes, your majesty?"

"Why are you here?"

"Armed robbery, your majesty."

"And are you guilty?"

"Entirely guilty, your majesty. I richly deserve my punishment."

At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said,
"Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him
here in gaol where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."

The Ignorant Archaeologists

A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came
upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance:

• A woman
• A donkey
• A shovel
• A fish
• A Star of David.

They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at
least five thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said:

"This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family-
oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine had hit the earth, whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."

The audience applauded enthusiastically and the President smiled
and said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement
with our interpretations." Suddenly a little old man stood up in
the back of the room and said, "Idiots! You are all wrong about
what the writings say. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrew
is not read from left to right, but from right to left. Look
again!

It says: "Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Woman!"

Wildest Africa

A missionary went to Africa and asked his guide while walking
in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals roaming
these woods?"

The guide said in return, "You can be sure there are no cannibals in
Africa."

The missionary replied "But it's possible there may be some
cannibals?"

"No," the guide comforted,"rest assured. We ate the last one on
Monday."