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The Benefits of Going Bald

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Grinning bald man with lipstick kiss-marks all over his shiny pate

In contemporary society there has been a surge in male vanity. In some cases, a little vanity can be of some use - well, if you count bathing or combing your hair as vanity. In others, as in the case of baldness, it is totally unjustified. The media portrays men with little to no hair as lonely, bitter old men. When in reality some of the most sensual men out there are... (gasp)


Most women like a nice head of hair. They play with it for a few minutes, compliment the man on his 'nice hair' and then only notice it every so often. It's fun to play with, but nowadays this can be a tad hazardous to your health with the advent of all the new styling products on the market which seem to be designed to act more like cement than a hair fixative. Not to mention getting a handful of hair which seems more like the hair on a Ken doll rather than real hair is exceedingly unattractive, also painful for the man.

But, when a man is bald (either by nature or razor) a woman touching his exposed scalp is generally welcomed. This could be due to the mere pleasure of discovering a new way of having skin-on-skin contact with a person - lover/friend/otherwise. Or, because most people ask before touching a bald man's head.

But maybe, just maybe, bald men know something men with hair don't: it feels darn good.

Can I Touch your Head?

Many bald men have a bevy of women who circulate around them, and their friendships nearly always began with the question 'Can I touch your head?' Women never tire of a bald or closely shorn head; it's always soft and smooth and you don't get your fingers caught in a mountain of gel/hair spray and the like. And as an added bonus, it makes the man feel tingly all over. Women like making men feel that way.

And the moral of the story? Rejoice in your baldness, men. Flaunt it. Look your tressed counterparts in the eye and say 'It takes me longer to inhale than it does to do my hair, how long does it take you to get your hair like that?' And those of you who are balding: relax, grab a razor and wait for the chicks1 to arrive.

1Chicks being used merely for dramatic effect, not meant to, in anyway, insinuate that women are fowl.

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