h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have you ever read the instructions for a pack of toothpicks? Perhaps the world really HAS gone crazy.

Well post them please- I do not tend to buy toothpicks, but indulge in the lon enjoyed method of using my fingernails.. With the danger of furthar wedging the trapped material in my teeth though... I try to avoid stringy meats though. Anyway please do tell us what the instructions were.

I'm sorry, but if I had my copy of the fourth book in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy I could tell you, but I don't so I can't.
When I get it I will.

Ahhh... I do have said book. In fact I have every one. So it is not an actual pack of toothpicks- just one in The Source?

My life is empty for I have not read the instructions on a packet of toothpicks. I (actually me, not "I heard of a bloke whose neighbours brother met a bloke who...) have read the instructions on a stick deoderant
1. Remove Cap
2. Push up bottom.

I am also the proud owner of a set of kitchen knives with the following warning.

Caution: Do not put into children

The world has well and truly lost the plot. We can but try to record as much of our lives as possible, on the off-chance that intelligent life does eventually decide to pop in. Perhaps these warnings will prevent them from inventing the american SUE-YOU mentality and bring and end to gameshows(no real reason, I just don't like gameshows).

I need to find out where Agi lives (England?, County?) so I can find where he bought the knives with the hilarious instructions (Please do not put into children) and buy them myself, I would hang them on the wall of my bedroom to look at during times of depression. So that I could laugh at the insanity on the world on which we live.

Got them at the Ideal homes show in London last year. Set of Solingen steel kitchen knives. I guess the instructions don't translate exactly from German. The scary bit was the bill showing up on my credit card from Online Leisure Entertainments Ltd. I was convinced that someone was getting porn at my expense. But no, Online Leisure Entertainments Ltd sell kitchenware. Go figure.