(With apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If you can look as lovely as a goddess

Your body slender, firm and lightly tanned;

If you ensure your make-up's always flawless

And keep your hairdo perfect, strand by strand;

If you can follow fashion's latest style

And know the best accessories to choose;

If you can freeze in little with a smile

And walk with elegance in high-heeled shoes;

If you pursue a decent education

Attain the highest grades but never boast;

If you can choose a worthwhile occupation

And beat the men competing for the post;

If you can demonstrate determination

Complete the toughest tasks and meet the goals;

If you can clamber up the corporation

But lack ambition for the chairman's role;

If you embrace the loving mother's lot

Enduring nappy rash and sleepless nights;

If you can cope with toddlers sprouting spots

And keep the peace when squabbling siblings fight;

If you can buy your child improving toys

But never yield to tantrums thrown in stores;

If you arrange karate club for boys

And gym for girls and still return for more;

If you can run a house to rival others

And keep your living space both clean and bright;

If you can calmly entertain his mother

And serve your meat just tender, pastry light

And still have time to buy new towels and sheets;

If you can do these things, my girl, then yes

You'll be a woman but, if not, just greet

The rest of us in compromise and mess!