h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Vodka is nice, and epensive. Youu don't want to blow it on wasp deterrence.

Take a plastic 1ltr. bottle, saw in half. take bottom hal and fill halfway with saturated sugarwater. verrry sweet. now take top half and place in bottom half with the neck down. jam it in real tight. yes?

wasp smells sweet stuff, flies in through neck, sips drink (yum) and flies back up... but can't find the neck. it's in the middle, and wasps can't look up. eventually the poor yellow pest drowns in the sweet liquid... gruesome, but effective.

the best thing is to let one wasp drink and escape to inform the swarm about the goodies to be found in that specific place. they'll then ALL leave you and fly thence, to their doom.

Hmm, interesting and with a healthy evil streak.
It also removes teh risk that a wasp will escape from teh vodka and orange. Ever met a drunk wasp, think English football hooligans with stings.

ouch. not good.

Indeed not. We actually used to place an apple at the bottom of our garden in some summers (Particularly when tehre was a wasps nest in the house) adn by two days it woudl have been eaten away by wasps. Scary really.

But it must have been a great place altogether. It sounds like it: summers, bottom of a large garden... apples...big red juicy apples...

-ah yes where were we?

Problem was we stayed clear of teh bottom of teh garden because thats where we lured the wasps.

Was the bottom that big? Or were you just a greedy kid that wanted ALL the garden to himself? Wasps are beautiful creatures, and much more colourful than you are, probably. Was it that hard to given them tht small bottom of the garden, eh?

Well, it wasn't that big and I did have to share it with friends/sisters. it was just that the house shadowed all but teh bottom of teh garden and thats where the football goal normally went. (Silly reasons I know) Wasps are coulourful in teh literal sense but look tehm in the eye, they're plotting I tell you.

I see. It must have been hard

Well, I always look insects in teh eyes. Its an odd thing with me. Moths are actually quite nice to lok into and bees are just dull.

Yeah, i know. you can see what's going on their minds, don't you?
Moths are intriguing, they seem posessed with something. Fire, maybe.
Bees... well they're just drones. You know what the toughest challenge in the insect kingdom is?
Staring down a praying mantis. It almost can't be done.

I have tried that when I was in France. Ok, first tiem I saw one I panicked because it was attacking my shoe but later I tried with a less shoe obsessed mantis and it kept mooving its head in a crazy way. I think Praying mantisis are a little on the mental side.

Yes. I'm currently at a friends' place, he calls himself Zen on the Net.
Little doe he know.., that the mantis IS the epitomy of zen..

Really, How so. I was just going for that utter mental nutter of an insect. The type that otehr insects avoid. Wasps are at least a bit organised and calculating.

Oh that kind of mental!
yes, that too.
indeed.
I see.
I agree.
la dee da dee.
I'm not currently
coming over very coherently
that is because my eyes can't see
through the hangover inside of me.
that this rhymes might seem to be
quite clever and together of me
but since words ending on e come easily
it's nothing but ranting stupidity.

I feel like a wasp on vodka
I couldn't sting right to save my life.

Wow, I'm liek, on th bit befor ethe hangover. Not drunk enough not to care and not hung over enough to negate my various injuries. Like your similie though, between the two of us, we can work it into society.

BTW, have you noticed that we are really the only two people who care about this? And do you think its a travesty?

Waiy until summer, thats what I say.

Whatever you wish for is what you get, I say.
If you don't ccare you won't get there.
Wha? Who?
Sorry fr posting so late but hhgg only displays your last 10 postingfs and what's not there,
is not cared for. most othe time.

that specific hangover day was really really bad for me though.
spilled small wquantitiy of beer over my keyboard, which is of a laptop, so which has all the delicate bits and pieces of the computer under it. Now my baby is in repair and I'm typing stone cold sober at uni...

Hey, summer came and went and no one cared. I feel ignored. The world will rue the day, leave em to the wasps.

you're so right man.
I say leave 'em ALL to the wasps.

we're lucky we don't get wasps in winter. now THAT would suck.

That would. They would also get meaner in teh cold.